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MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:16 AM
Hello there, so i was suggested this site for some help. I am a 15 y/o guy. I live in Slovenia and i have a GF. So basicly my GF was raped by my best friend when i was out of town. I was in Austria atm. My GF told me this as soon as i came home. I really don't know what to do. Help me please i need help ASAP.
I don't know how to react nor what to do. I am extremely nervous and i can't stop smoking help me please!!

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:22 AM
Hello there, so i was suggested this site for some help. I am a 15 y/o guy. I live in Slovenia and i have a GF. So basicly my GF was raped by my best friend when i was out of town. I was in Austria atm. My GF told me this as soon as i came home. I really don't know what to do. Help me please i need help ASAP.
I don't know how to react nor what to do

Do you have the whole picture ? Have you spoken to your friend about this ?

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:27 AM
Do you have the whole picture ? Have you spoken to your friend about this ?
Yes, she doesn't like giving help... she's a mutual friend, i told her because she is one of my gf's mutual friends but she only told me to go to this site.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:28 AM
I am not quite sure what you mean by "the whole picture". And yes, i have.

It meant had you heard both side's of the story. So what did your friend say ?

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:31 AM
It meant had you heard both side's of the story. So what did your friend say ?
Yes i have. He was trying to convice me he didn't do anything.
I just don't really know what to do...that's why i came here.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:33 AM
Yes i have. He was trying to convice me he didn't do anything.

Well someone is lieing, how do you feel about the whole thing ?

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:34 AM
Well someone is lieing, how do you feel about the whole thing ?
My GF would never lie to me. I'm stressed, i don't know what to do and i'm really, really nervous

Let Me Be a Pony
May 11th, 2015, 11:34 AM
Yes i have. He was trying to convice me he didn't do anything.

Has your girlfriend called the police? Tell her to do it, it can help a lot.
It may be scary for her at the start, but it will help prevent this person hurting others(if he is indeed a rapist).

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:37 AM
Has your girlfriend called the police? Tell her to do it, it can help a lot.
It may be scary for her at the start, but it will help prevent this person hurting others(if he is indeed a rapist).
No, although i don't even know if she told her parent's about this. She's barely 14. I'll tell her parents and maybe have a talk with the police about this.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:38 AM
My GF would never lie to me. I'm stressed, i don't know what to do and i'm really, really nervous

Why are you nervous ? Is your sure your gf wouldn't lie to you get them in the same room and ask him what he did. If not go to the police with her

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:45 AM
Why are you nervous ? Is your sure your gf wouldn't lie to you get them in the same room and ask him what he did. If not go to the police with her
I'm nervous because i'm scared if she's pregnant and about what will happen next. I never knew this would happen. No, i believe she's telling me the truth, as she is my GF. I'll think about going to the police, i've never quite been to the police so i don't know what to do. But before, i'm going to tell her parents about this and i'm a bit scared of their reaction.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:48 AM
I'm nervous because i'm scared if she's pregnant and about what will happen next. I never knew this would happen. No, i believe she's telling me the truth, as she is my GF. I'll think about going to the police, i've never quite been to the police so i don't know what to do. But before, i'm going to tell her parents about this and i'm a bit scared of their reaction.

You've done nothing wrong so don't be nervous, tell her parents and see how they react

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:50 AM
You've done nothing wrong so don't be nervous, tell her parents and see how they react
But what should i do if my GF's pregnant? I'm really scared.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:52 AM
But what should i do if my GF's pregnant? I'm really scared.

How long ago was it ?

Let Me Be a Pony
May 11th, 2015, 11:52 AM
But what should i do if my GF's pregnant? I'm really scared.

Just be there for her. Don't panic. There's always abortion if that's the case.
Just be there for her and talk with her parents. They need to know about this too.

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:53 AM
How long ago was it ?
2 Days ago

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:55 AM
2 Days ago

If she is she can get rid of it, easily at only 2 days gone. However then you have moral and religious beliefs to put in

MaliFarcajk
May 11th, 2015, 11:55 AM
Just be there for her. Don't panic. There's always abortion if that's the case.
Just be there for her and talk with her parents. They need to know about this too.
But i'm scared as if she will blame me for anything. Me and my best friend were really close and we hanged out most of the time. She might even start to think i helped my best friend

If she is she can get rid of it, easily at only 2 days gone. However then you have moral and religious beliefs to put in
Yes, but i don't know where the abortions are. Me and my GF aren't religious.

Vermilion
May 11th, 2015, 11:58 AM
You can find a clinic easily, ask at your doctors or your parent's might even know

Uniquemind
May 11th, 2015, 12:48 PM
First thing's first.


1. Tell your girlfriend not to take a bath, she needs the physical evidence of her rapists DNA on and in her to be recorded as evidence.

2. She needs to file a report with police and probably will get a rape kit to gather evidence from her body.


3. Get a sexually transmitted diseases/infections test done at the doctors, AND specifically tell the doctor to test for every STD/STI possible included herpes.

Some tests for certain std's need to be done upon request.



Also don't tell or accuse your girlfriend of this but is it possible she cheated on you and is trying to claim rape because she feels guilty.

But first and foremost believe that she was raped. Just keep that other thought in the back of your mind.


Also if she's taken a bath both of you need to accept that the rapist might not face any consequences because the evidence to prove a rape happened is gone.


In which case your girlfriend and yourself need your parents help to find a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma and relationship communication for couples.

Tunero
May 11th, 2015, 02:35 PM
She is lying, she cheated on you and she feels guilty just like uniquemind had said earlier... isn't she strong enough to fight back, scream etc? why did she give in so easily? why where they even alone together for it to result in a rape? you must be lying OP... or she is lying.. your friend can't do that on purpose... she gave in.

Uniquemind
May 11th, 2015, 07:52 PM
She is lying, she cheated on you and she feels guilty just like uniquemind had said earlier... isn't she strong enough to fight back, scream etc? why did she give in so easily? why where they even alone together for it to result in a rape? you must be lying OP... or she is lying.. your friend can't do that on purpose... she gave in.


Uh no I did not say that.

I said this:

What I did say is that he needs to consider ALL possibilities rather than thinking in absolutes of it being rape or a lie. Going onward to believe either option without proof is not wise and potentially harmful.

Regardless though he should take her claim seriously, comfort her and get the law and medical services (STD tests and pregnancy tests) involved where need be.


Keep the friend (potential rapist), and the girlfriend away from each other for a good long time to keep both in a neutral non-reactive emotional space.



The rest of my advice is go where the evidence takes you, recognize that that's all the law is going to do, and it might be a rape, where there is no consequence for the rapist because of lack of evidence.

Elysium
May 11th, 2015, 07:55 PM
OP banned. :locked: