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Microcosm
May 10th, 2015, 03:21 PM
This one I wrote for fun.

To break these wretched bonds of lowly storms,
like hurricanes of blind and bare lament.
They're taking only ostentatious forms;
such horrid dreams of grief as this they've sent.

To break these wretched bonds of lowly rains,
Upon the clouds I sing as they doth part...
Forget this fallen rose's broken chains;
She's lost her budding flaws with which she starts.

To see these broken bonds express their angst,
they echo silent grief upon their chains.
To whom shall I express my lowly thanks?
For none, as all through this are lowly rains.

To see these shackles broken from my wrists,
means nothing if these storms remain adrift.

Let Me Be a Pony
May 10th, 2015, 04:32 PM
This one I wrote for fun.

To break these wretched bonds of lowly storms,
like hurricanes of blind and bare lament.
They're taking only ostentatious forms;
such horrid dreams of grief as this they've sent.

To break these wretched bonds of lowly rains,
Upon the clouds I sing as they doth part...
Forget this fallen rose's broken chains;
She's lost her budding flaws with which she starts.

To see these broken bonds express their angst,
they echo silent grief upon their chains.
To whom shall I express my lowly thanks?
For none, as all through this are lowly rains.

To see these shackles broken from my wrists,
means nothing if these storms remain adrift.

I like the symbolism in this. Each time I read this I try to find more and more symbolism - UNDER THE above layer of symbolism.
Poetry... confusing symbolism always is at bay when the poetics are good.
Good job, made me wonder for awhile on a lot of events while reading this over and over. :)
You know when you're reading something good when it makes you wonder in different directions.

Microcosm
May 10th, 2015, 04:33 PM
I like the symbolism in this. Each time I read this I try to find more and more symbolism - UNDER THE above layer of symbolism.
Poetry... confusing symbolism always is at bay when the poetics are good.
Good job, made me wonder for awhile on a lot of events while reading this over and over. :)
You know when you're reading something good when it makes you wonder in different directions.

Thanks! :)

I might make a section in my diary for sonnets. I seem to write a lot of them when I'm bored.