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Doc. Maestro
May 7th, 2015, 05:11 AM
A teacher saw my cuts, and apparently reported it to my head of school who came to talk to me. The teacher remains anonymous, but to the point: I lied.

I told him it was just an accident, and I don't think he believed me. But I just straight up looked him in the eye and lied, and now I feel terrible.

But he knows, I'm sure of it, I know he doesn't believe me, with the way he looked and how he kept going, telling me how to get help.

I'm scared though. My life is going downhill; grades are slipping, friends are drifting away, and I just can't seem to get control back anymore.

I'm lost, and the demons are winning. They've managed to make me forget about the imaginary friend I created to help me fight them. I'm drowning in so much self-pity, depression and resentment of life and everything, as well as stress from school, that it feels like my good side is dying, and it's screaming for me to help it, to save it but I just CAN'T

I FUCKING CAN'T DO IT

I hate this world, I hate this life

Vermilion
May 7th, 2015, 05:27 AM
I had a similar thing happen, my a teacher seeing cuts but a teacher seeing about 2 pages of my french book saying kill me and other suicidal thoughts. My head of year came to me asking about it he had a photo copy of it I was so upset with the fact he had a copy of it. He asked me what was wrong I just looked him in the eyes and lied saying I was bored. I end up just putting up with life for about 5 mores years then got medical help. It's wasn't easy asking for help but It does help :) please get help

WanderingHeart
May 7th, 2015, 07:40 AM
Something similar happened to me - my math teacher saw my notebook of suicidal things. Now I'm seeing the school counselor.

But hey, remember what you told me? Keep living one day at a time? I think you should follow your own advice (and I should, too) because YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT.
They're trying to get you help, right? That shows they have the decency to care. Mine don't do anything.

One day at a time, right??

Doc. Maestro
May 7th, 2015, 08:22 AM
Something similar happened to me - my math teacher saw my notebook of suicidal things. Now I'm seeing the school counselor.

But hey, remember what you told me? Keep living one day at a time? I think you should follow your own advice (and I should, too) because YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT.
They're trying to get you help, right? That shows they have the decency to care. Mine don't do anything.

One day at a time, right??

Thank you, and I understand, but I'm just getting tired. I feel like an old man who's seen too much of the world, all the crap that humans do to the Earth and its inhabitant, and each other. And then they tell you to work for maybe 80% of your waking life for the advancement of the human race, or just for some business, only to grow old for the other 20% and die.

I'm tired of everything, just so fucking tired

Vermilion
May 7th, 2015, 08:28 AM
Thank you, and I understand, but I'm just getting tired. I feel like an old man who's seen too much of the world, all the crap that humans do to the Earth and its inhabitant, and each other. And then they tell you to work for maybe 80% of your waking life for the advancement of the human race, or just for some business, only to grow old for the other 20% and die.

I'm tired of everything, just so fucking tired

Please get some medical help

Doc. Maestro
May 7th, 2015, 08:47 AM
Please get some medical help

I don't know why, but I just can't. I just don't want to, I'm sorry...

Vermilion
May 7th, 2015, 09:01 AM
I don't know why, but I just can't. I just don't want to, I'm sorry...

I know for a fact the longer you put it off the worse it gets. Just bear that in mind :)

WanderingHeart
May 7th, 2015, 04:41 PM
If you don't try then I won't either. Please get medical help.

Doc. Maestro
May 8th, 2015, 02:09 AM
If you don't try then I won't either. Please get medical help.

I guess, I could try to see my school psychologist. I'll think about it...

Vermilion
May 8th, 2015, 04:48 AM
I guess, I could try to see my school psychologist. I'll think about it...[/QUOTE]

Please do :)

WanderingHeart
May 8th, 2015, 05:18 PM
I guess, I could try to see my school psychologist. I'll think about it...

I hope so.

linx
May 12th, 2015, 01:06 AM
I don't know why, but I just can't. I just don't want to, I'm sorry...

Write your dad a note bud if would help.