PDA

View Full Version : Panicking about Scars


xXoblivionXx
April 18th, 2015, 01:18 PM
So I was having kind of a spa day with my mom and her friend came over to do it with us. She waxed my arms and legs.. only thin is I have scars on my arm. I was trying to hid it as much as I could but there was a point where she held my hand, forearm covered with almost faded but not really scars, facing up and put some wax and ripped it off. Then my arm looked whiter than usual and kind of red and the scars showed and she looked at them. but didn't say anything i felt so exposed. and now I'm panicking :(

Vermilion
April 18th, 2015, 01:38 PM
Don't feel bad if anything if I saw someone with self harm scars I would feel sorry that they had been that low. Bio-oil is apparently good for making cars fad :)

CosmicNoodle
April 18th, 2015, 01:45 PM
Awwww, don't worry about it :hug:

They've probably seen it before, probably have forgotten already.

Desuetude
April 19th, 2015, 03:43 AM
If she didn't say anything at the time, for your sanity attempt to forget about it. I know it'll be playing on your mind for ages and just end up stressing you out but there are many reasons why, if she don't notice, she probably won't bring it up.

1) People have no idea how to react, if at all. She's probably confused and a bit embarrassed that she's seen something as personal as self harm scars. Just, people don't understand how to deal with it so they find the situation easier to sweep under the carpet.

2) If they're faded and look old and there was nothing to notify her that you're currently in a period of your life where you're still self harming then she may see that there's nothing to see. We all have our scars whether mental or physical from older points in our life and we just have to live with them, people should understand this, there's nothing you can do to get rid of the scars and yeah, that's a pain in the ass.

And some advice about them:
You just have to distance yourself from them mentally. Apparently if they're not completely gone after 2 years they're likely to be with you for a lonnng time and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that none of the scars on my thigh's or forearms have faded in the slightest. When people look, you pretend there's nothing to see. If they ask, either hide them and change the subject or, if you're brave, say you went through a bad period a while back. There's nothing you can do but let yourself just become accustomed to having them on your body and finding ways to deal with them being there.

So tl;dr, attempt to stop stressing and worrying about it because in the end, its going to do you no good when there's probably a 90% chance that nothing will come of her seeing them. Distract yourself and just try and forget and honestly, when this happens enough times, you'll end up naturally forgetting and feeling uncomfortable/self conscious after 20 minutes of someone seeing.

Dying Ember
April 19th, 2015, 06:08 AM
I don't think you're meant to wax skin which has scars on them, that may be a reason why they were so noticeable afterwards. But if she didn't say anything afterwards I would try to forget about it. I know its hard and it can make you feel really really exposed and embarrassed because I was in a situation yesterday where someone I knew asked me what those 'things' were , but the best thing we can do is try and forget about it :)

Abhorrence
April 19th, 2015, 06:13 AM
I only wear short sleeves around people that I am good friends with or when it's just unbearably hot. I notice my friends do kind of stare a bit but they don't say anything. I understand the feeling of exposure, I feel that way when I go swimming. It's easier just to put it away in your mind and remind yourself that the scars are a sign of recovery because they're old. :)

Babs
April 21st, 2015, 10:38 AM
It's okay. She didn't say anything, and if she hasn't said anything to your mom by now, she probably won't.
It's kind of a shocking thing to see, and people don't know what to say when they see it. If they looked faded, she probably isn't too worried about it.

Echelon
April 21st, 2015, 10:37 PM
I've never seen someone with cuts on their forearms or anywhere.
The only person I know who does it is me.
I don't know what I'm going to do this summer because I love to swim and it gets hot.
Ugh, there are so many. I usually am always wearing sweatshirts at school to hide them. Someone has seen them once and asked. I got really freaked out and told them that it was my cat. They thought I was lying. They told my sister and I showed her the arm with the least amount of cuts. Fortunately, I breezed through that one. The girl hasn't said anything since. It's none of her business, and I think she understands that now.

JusticeandMercy
April 25th, 2015, 01:03 PM
I wouldn't worry too much. It can definitely be embarrassing, but I'm sure she's seen it before, and if the scars looked old, she's probably not going to bring it up.