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View Full Version : My Friend told me she was raped....please help


NickC
April 7th, 2015, 12:27 AM
So me and my friend, we were talking earlier today about our past relationships. Well while we were talking, she quickly mentioned that she was raped. I caught onto that immediately, so i was like hold on and i got her to tell me more about it. She told me that she was raped about a year ago, she said it was with someone that she did not even know. Some of her details are, honestly, a bit hazy....but she is showing all of the signs of PTSD and of a person who got raped. As i was saying, she said that it was with someone she did not even really know. She doesn't remember if she was drinking or anything like that either. She said that the guy goes to another school near to our school. She said to me that she is the first person that she has ever told about this. She has not even told her parents. And she wants me to keep all of this a secret, but i am overwhelmed because i feel like i should help her. I mean, she is 15 years old right now and i am 16 years old. She said it happened a year ago, and that would have made her 14 years old at the time. So once she told me all of this, i said to her that she needs to get some help, that she needs to report it to police. She refuses to do that. And i hate to say this, but she has pretty much made her own little fantasy world that she lives in. She has pretty much made herself believe that rape is not a big deal and that there is nothing that she can do. I mean, i have tried everything i know to try. I have tried talking to her, like to try to talk her into seeing a rape therapist. I mean, i would honestly just report it to the police myself, but then she would never trust me again. Is there anything i can do to help her? Or is it just best for me to just leave the whole situation alone?

Hudor
April 7th, 2015, 06:32 AM
I understand what you feel but honestly I don't think there is little more you could do than try talking to her and persuading her to report it if you think there's scope for more persuasion bringing a change. Do not report it yourself or tell anyone else about it. That would be a very bad idea because even apart from horribly breaking her trust it would cause her even more agony getting her secret forced out.
Try to be there for her whenever she needs you. I guess she might want your support.

Vermilion
April 7th, 2015, 06:54 AM
This is really hard to answer. I'd say tell the police and her parents, the other part of me saids just support her don't tell anyone. It mite end the friendship is you tell , yes she mite trust you less however it shows that you care for her, it could even bond you more. From what you've said he needs some form of medical help. Do what you think is the right thing to do.

MadManic
April 7th, 2015, 06:47 PM
Rape is a sensitive topic. The best thing you can do in the situation is to let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs to vent and you are trustworthy. Do not under any circumstances tell. That is not your responsibility. In your case why you need to do is to focus on getting across the idea of how serious rape is and get the fantasy of it being no big deal out of her head. (To be honest however i wouldn't necessarily call it a fantasy is would call it a wall. She is trying to put it behind her and block it out by acting like it doesn't matter.) Also, after being such a long time since the occurrence, it would be very difficult (unfortunately) to prove anything against the rapist and she also may not want the whole subject to be brought back up and remind her of what she had to go through. I hope this helped i'm sorry you have to deal with this but you are a great friend

SethfromMI
April 7th, 2015, 10:20 PM
you can be there for her and try to help her figure out her options, but in the end, since she was the one who was raped, she will be the one who will have to decide what actions she wants to take. but def be there to give her support