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Reundlovu
March 31st, 2015, 03:58 PM
My dad is an alcoholic and it really pisses me off. To the point where half the time he can't even cook dinner coz he's too drunk. To him alcohol is more important than cooking his own sons dinner(l have a brother and my mother died around 5 years ago). He literally spends more money on alcohol than he does on food. Sometimes he even asks me for money 'so he can do something important' even though l clearly know he's buying alcohol. In defence, he doesn't have the best of friends and most of them drink alcohol with him at the pub on saturdays. Maybe it's my fault because he may not feel loved at times and it annoys him when l do not study and procrasinate.
Can someone please give any kind of advice?

jordanhardy
March 31st, 2015, 04:03 PM
Has your dad always been this way, or was it triggered by the death of your mother? It sounds to me that he's struggling massively with that. Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe talking with other family members like grandparents may help. There are plenty of support agencies out there which can help.

Reundlovu
March 31st, 2015, 04:25 PM
Has your dad always been this way, or was it triggered by the death of your mother? It sounds to me that he's struggling massively with that. Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe talking with other family members like grandparents may help. There are plenty of support agencies out there which can help.
They had divorced before she died but l do think that is what triggered the alcoholism. I've brought it up a few times, but only when he was drunk. My family members live in a different continent.
Thanks for the help though!!

NickTheStar
April 1st, 2015, 02:20 AM
You can't change this. But it isn't your fault. Love him. My dads the sit at home and drink type. I know when he's getting fucked up and I go hangout with a friend or goto my room and put on music. Control the situation.

Vermilion
April 1st, 2015, 04:29 AM
Hi, I know a bit what your going though, I've put up with an alcoholic father for year's. I only noticed it at the age of 11 but I know it's gone on my whole life from talking to family members. I don't really have much advice but he is the only one that can stop it , no matter what you do its his own choice. Don't blame yourself it's not your fault, try not to let it get you down. For me it's caused depression so I know it's hard. It's worse being told I've stopped when it's clearly a lie, or watching him drink then he said I haven't. I still have my family around me including my mother so I can't start to imagine what it's like for you. I think you should contact childline or the nspcc. They will be there for you and advice you. Music helps me a lot just to escape form it. I've been close to just telling him to drink himself to death. Hoping it would make him see how it affects me. How old are you ? And your brother ?. Message me if you want talk more and I'll do my best to help.

Reundlovu
April 1st, 2015, 02:12 PM
Thanks for the support guys!

Wafflenado
April 6th, 2015, 05:31 PM
I definitely think the alcoholism was triggered mostly by your mother's death, and really the only thing you can do is try to support him if he does decide to get sober, because I know my dad, being the way men are brought up I guess, never showed any feelings to hint at him being sad or anything which I bet definitely built up and was only released through him drinking instead of dealing with his issues head on. Alcoholism definitely comes from a place of fear, and like all other fears, it's best to deal with them head on, so I would encourage your dad to look for other ways to deal with his grief.

SethfromMI
April 6th, 2015, 06:22 PM
well have you tried talking to him when he was sober?