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View Full Version : Extreme paranoia/distrust


Babs
March 13th, 2015, 02:32 AM
I don't know that I could actually be diagnosed with PPD if tested per se, but I have a tendency to be extremely, extremely paranoid. I've never spoken about this (aside from mentions of my suspicions) so it's kind of weird to be typing this right now. I'm not sure where to start. Ways I'm paranoid, I guess:

- I'm deeply concerned that people are reading my mind, and is one of the biggest reasons for my suicidal tendencies. Sometimes I'll talk to the people in the room through my mind, not normal conversation, but things like "fuck you for reading my mind. I'll find proof"
- I'm also very concerned that my close ones secretly hate me, talk about me behind my back, and plan to do something to humiliate me.
- When I'm in the car with people, I fear that they're going drop me off somewhere, or find someplace they can hurt me.
- I am very afraid people are going to use my secrets or weaknesses to exploit me or humiliate me.
- Small comments or slights stick with me more than they should. It just fuels the thought that people hate me and will talk about me once I leave the room.
- My intense fear of the dark may or may not coincide with this. When I'm in darkness, I always feel like someone is lurking, like I can feel a presence.
- I tend to be guarded. I'm only able to talk about my feelings genuinely when I'm talking to no one in particular, like on this forum because that's the only way that feels comfortable enough. When talking to someone one-on-one and the topic of my thoughts or feelings come up, I just bullshit because I don't feel safe telling people how I really feel.

The reason I'm finally talking about this after it's been going on for years is because 1) I'm realizing it's not normal at all 2) it goes on all the time and affects my mental health greatly. It feels strange talking about it but I'm gonna bear through it hopefully so I can get some advice. I'm not quite sure what to do, and talking to my parents to get help seems out of the question.
I don't know what to do.

tasminsmith
March 13th, 2015, 11:58 AM
if your taking drugs then I would stop immeidiatley and is there no one at school you can tell?

Babs
March 13th, 2015, 01:00 PM
if your taking drugs then I would stop immeidiatley and is there no one at school you can tell?

I am not taking any drugs.
There's no one I would feel comfortable telling.

ChaosEarthquake
March 17th, 2015, 04:48 PM
I feel most of the same feelings you have.

You could talk to a counselor / therapist if you wanted to.