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View Full Version : My personal "enlightenment"


Tesserax
March 5th, 2015, 07:10 AM
So a couple of days ago, I hit my absolute rock bottom. The worst I've ever been in my life, and though others have had worse, I was pretty bad for my standards. I had had a rough chain of events, and I was on the verge of killing myself. My demons were taunting me, and I got my swiss army knife right up to my wrist, just in position to cut and end it all. My demons were pushing me ever so close to the point of no return, but being me something stopped me. I actually wanted to finish my story that night, but something told me to give it a chance and I did.

The next day, things started to go my way a little, but not as much as I would've liked, and I was still feeling down. However, I waited a little longer and the next day, I received an amazing test score result that gave me more hope, and then when I sang for my Concert band (as a request from my Conductor) everybody congratulated me and I felt amazing. I just game myself a couple of days and everything turned around.

However, it didn't end here, and this is where my life-advice comes (sort of :3). I had just finished school sport, and I was bored and talked to my friends. That's when I found out that my crush asked another guy to go as her partner. I was shocked that I didn't know about this. I felt sort of hurt, but mostly confused and I had to excuse myself.

I went for a walk, and I started thinking "why does this always happen". But I knew that I couldn't let myself spiral into depression about it, so I thought about what my Dad has said, to "be more extraspective rather than introspective" or something like that. So I started thinking about other people getting what they want, instead of my not getting what I want. And then I had a sort of an epiphany. I saw a pattern, and I realised that the world isn't unfair, or isn't evil. It's good. Our started place, sure it's based on luck, based on who we're born from and we can't change that. But the World gives us all our fair share of good.

Ever noticed how a lot of us in 1st world countries have severe mental conditions like depression, bipolar, the want to commit suicide, etc. but the people in some of the poorest countries that you see in documentaries are somehow so happy, despite how little they have. The world gives us all our fair share of what we deserve as basic human beings, but some of us are spoiled and we reject what we get, often without knowing it. And if you don't get something that you want, you have to realise that it's not the world being against you, or making you unhappy. If you take a step back, and look at it from a different perspective, you'll realised that while you at the moment are made unhappy by an event, somebody else is made happy and you just have to accept that.

I realised then that my crush was happy, my friend that my crush asked to go to the presentation ball is happy, and then I was happy. I was happy for her, for him, instead of sad for myself, and that made everything so much better.

I know it's hard, because I've been there when people say "all you need to do is this or that and you'll be happy" but in the end it's the truth. You just have to keep trying, and try to understand what I've said here.

The next time you feel bad, something happens that makes you unhappy or you feel like the world just won't go your way, take a moment and breathe, that's what helped me to come to this conclusion. Take a moment to breathe, and close your eyes and step out of your body. Don't think about what happened to you, think about what happened to the other people that made you unhappy. Think how it made them feel. You may be unhappy, but it's because you don't realise that other people being happy without you is the reason for it, but they don't know that you're unhappy from their actions.

It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say, but that's why it's an epiphany I guess. But ever since then, I've turned completely around and I feel better than I've ever been before. My mood is consistently bright now, I'm more positive about things, and my demons haven't said a word since.

Thank you for taking the time to read all this. I hope you have a wonderful day, week, month, year, and life. You're pretty, or handsome you're a guy, and you are smart, kind, and generous and people love you. Believe it, I know, the powers of my awesomeness are telling me. PEACE!!!

dysterian
September 27th, 2015, 07:18 PM
I think this is one of my favorite posts.

hesaidhesaid
September 28th, 2015, 05:52 AM
Yan Hearn:If you don't mind, I screenshotted this story and it will be the first story of the 2015/16 summer on my blog. I would have written something to go with it but it's just too good to alter with. I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I hope we can talk as friends in the not too distant future.

-H

Tesserax
September 28th, 2015, 11:34 AM
Yan Hearn:If you don't mind, I screenshotted this story and it will be the first story of the 2015/16 summer on my blog. I would have written something to go with it but it's just too good to alter with. I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I hope we can talk as friends in the not too distant future.

-H

Thank you, seeing this means a lot to me. But a lot of time has passed since I made this post, and things have changed. I find myself struggling to see this view, but I have a new more personal positive view that I try to hold on to. But by all means, repost this where you like, it may help somebody else that find some truth in this.

Tesserax
December 28th, 2015, 09:47 AM
Yan Hearn:If you don't mind, I screenshotted this story and it will be the first story of the 2015/16 summer on my blog. I would have written something to go with it but it's just too good to alter with. I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I hope we can talk as friends in the not too distant future.

-H

Disregard my previous statement. I had hit a bad low again. In the end, to some extent I do believe in it, it is just that I am growing tired of waiting for good to come. So I started to be a little more proactive in my ventures, and I'm still hoping that good things will come of it, but again, it's all a matter of patience and waiting your turn, everybody gets a chance at happiness.

Microcosm
December 28th, 2015, 03:32 PM
This is so great...

I remember you used to make posts about how awful things were going and it is so wonderful to see that you are now doing so well.

Keep up the good work. :)