View Full Version : Life moves on

February 18th, 2015, 04:45 PM
Well, here it is I guess. I'm not really sure what I'm going to write out in this but I just want to get the story of my chest and I'm releived that I finaly can.

Let me say that first of all I'm so glad that I can finaly post here, write a story about helping and inspiring instead of dwelling between self pity and self hate.


The reason I'm writing this is that a friend of mine tried to commit suicide and was hospitalized very recently.
Not long after he cut himself, he took pictures of the cuts which somehow got to friends. He was cutting before this, and I knew about it. He was the only person in real life I've ever told about my own cutting openly. He was seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist and had had problems before.

I guess it was a wake up call.

I remember I'd stopped counting the days since I cut, then I stopped counting the weeks... the months... It's becoming spring now. I can't remember when I stopped and I don't know how long it's been but it feels like years even though it was just a season. Every time I got an urge I just thought about how stupid it was; how hopeles, how it doesn't get me forward but pulls me back. Don't be afraid to criticize it. It's awful. Listen to people talk about how bad it is; don't sugarcoat it. It will feel like an insult when someone says bad things about cutting and cutters; think about how sick that is, to internaly defend something to awful. I guess that was what really helped me.

I kind of feel like when you're first learning to ride a bike or to swim; for the first time you're doing it right, and the only way to keep doing it is to not think about how you're doing it. Don't think about how you're staying afloat or not falling down, because you'll panic and drop back down again.

Get distracted, not by spending your time distracting yourself, but by letting others do it for you. Don't be afraid to be around others because of yourself, get closer because it's the only thing that keeps you from yourself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't try to hide yourself. Don't try to introvert yourself, try to let it out. If people give you shit for it, that's their own fault. Screw the people who can't accept you. And those that do; take them as friends. Don't spend days inside in your own house, don't spend time trying to make the best of your own time. Try to make someone else's.
I wasn't lonely, I liked being on my own and watching movies, playing games. But how can you treat yourself that good when you also treat yourself and your body terribly? I decided to stop trying to change myself and stop thinking about it. But it's not enough.

The thing that really helped is having friends. Not just talking to people, but opening up to them. Visit them, eat with them, share with them. Be able to completely and fully be yourself around someone. Be able to tell things you never even dreamed of telling someone.

It will seem like the world is all grey at first; the constant clinging depression, the feeling of heavy sunken eyes, just wanting to sleep but can't. Everything is grey, everything is pale and tasteles. I know the exact feeling.
But it doesn't last forever.
As much as I hated the idea of "it's just puberty" "it's just a phase", there was a truth in all of those ideas; it ends.

It's cliché, it's been said a milion times but it does. It's like being very sick; after a few days you honestly can not remember the feeling of not being and feeling sick, but once you get better you do and you're so much more grateful for it.

I remember slowly colours returning; ironicaly with the coming of winter and the barren trees and the streets covered in snow and ice, I suddenly noticed the brightness of it all. The more I started appreciating the colour, the more I saw it. Now I see brightness and colour in all things, even the dark and I appreciate it so much more. It's like I've been seeing through blinds and suddenly pulled them away.

Even if you feel like it's impossible , and you never will, you will change. You don't have to try. You just have to find the moment and it will seem like the world suddenly changes around you.


I'm not sure if it was very inspiring to everyone, but I can only hope it was.
I'm feeling so much better than compared to how I used to be, and this site has helped me so much that I can only hope that others will be helped too.

Enjoy Life :) :yes: and have a wonderful day

February 18th, 2015, 04:48 PM
Most of these uplifting posts don't really do anything for me, but this one really hit me hard. Thank you.

February 18th, 2015, 04:53 PM
Most of these uplifting posts don't really do anything for me, but this one really hit me hard. Thank you.

thanks so much ^^ :yes: