View Full Version : A story I wrote for school when I was 12

December 8th, 2014, 07:13 PM
When I was 12 I was tasked with writing a story, about anything, until now I considered it lost to the inky blackness of the every expanding universe, but whilst digging round my old Windows XP laptop, I found it! Here it is.
(be nice, I was 12 at the time)

The Visitor -
Andrew Clark was bored, He was always bored. "You tend to get a lot of that here" , he thought forlornly. Andrew was twenty four, tall, dark hair, intelligent, but must unfortunately and inconveniently, in prison. His wallet was found at the HQ of an international drug cartel. "Two weeks!", he thought. "Out of seven years!", he shouted. Later on he would realise how unusual that would have looked to his room mate, Peter Kane, more commonly known as "Prisoner 10263B2” as it said on his omnipresent ID tag.
Over what felt like years, despite being weeks, Andrew had developed a tendency to zone out and get lost in his own mind, wandering in and out of his own dreams and fantasy. This is why he did not notice when the guard banged on his rusty cell door for the first 3 times. Unsurprisingly it was a guard at the door, as it had been every other time for two weeks. "Sh*t, more questions, what is with these people and questions, like a shit quiz show" Andrew thought, getting angry at the faceless, "cookie cutter" guard. "Hands through the door!" the clearly angry guard shouted. Andrew complied. "I have become one of the mindless drones, obeying without question" he thought too himself as the guard snapped on the cuffs, "Click, click, clikc" and one more "Click" just to make sure they where uncomfortably tight.
Andrew walked down a long, dull and very grey corridor, exceedingly Gray, as if they had put the effort in to make it as grey as possible, with more cells on each side. He turned a corner and carried on down another corridor, and another, and another. "God awful maze" he thought to himself. At this point to occurred to him he had no idea where he was going, or why, and then realised, he lacked the ability to care at this point, so carried on his journey in ignorant bliss. Much to his surprise the sign of the door he was told to proceed through was labelled "Visitor room". He was instructed to sit in the only seat that was set out by the increasingly angry guard, the seat in question, also being exceedingly grey, he did as he was told. At this point, one of the oldest women he had ever seen slowly hobbled in and sat down.
"Hello dear" said the old woman in a sickeningly sweet voice, "My names Amelia". "This is a mistake", Andrew said "I don't know you" he said feeling confused, his mind bumbling over itself, trying to find something to connect the name Amelia too. His words fell of deaf ears, Amelia had yet to put in her hearing aid. She sat down, put in her hearing aid, opened a small paper bag of sweets and pulled out a set of wooden knitting needles from her bag and continued with what looked something like a small knitted toy in the shape of a mouse with a small yellow hat and a grey trench coat. Andrews mind was racing "Friends mother...Is she lost...who is she!?", Andrews mind was racing but had nothing to processes, leaving it to tumble over itself and making him feeling confused. "I don't know you" Andrew managed to say at last. Minuets went by without anyone saying anything. "I know you, dear", said the decrepit old woman. "What you have done, who you are, your pin number, your cats name, your shoe size, I know you put chewing gum under table number 17 at the Restaurant on the corner of Dent Street", she said still in a sweet voice, she seemed to be concentrating more on her knitting than on her conversation with him. Adam panicked.
"I know why your here, Drugs, not fitting for a young gentleman is it now?", "How are you?" Adam said, feeling confused and annoyed at the vague things this old woman was saying. "Everyone knows, silly news papers wont leave the story alone!", Amelia said unapprovingly. "As I was saying, I know *all* about you, who you are, what you have done, what you will do. Well, what we will make you do", said Amelia with a little laugh. "What you will make me do...?", Andrew questioned tensely. "Let me explain", Amelia said slowly losing interest in Andrew. "We...no, they, want you to say yes". "Yes?", Andrew asked becoming slowly scared at what this woman was saying. "We want people to say yes when we tell them too, we have people in all sorts of places, counsels, governments, large corporations, people who clean up bins and people who build space ships. People with power, we tell them what too do, they do it, and everything works out fine, everyone is happy.", she said, clearly bored now and abandoning the mouse she was knitting half way down its little coat, dropping the mouse into her purse. Andrews mouth fell open.
"I am finding this hard to take in" Andrew whispered. "I say yeas AND...?", he questioned. "You get out, everything goes back to normal, you get your job back, everyone is happy", Amelia said clearly bored now, glancing around the room, watching a fly buzz around a window, flying away, and back into the window, Amelia though of it as a stupid bug, but the fly itself to preoccupied thinking about how it could possibly define itself as a singular being in such a crowded world of conflicting and matching personality's, and a simply fly is able to define what it is, and it's purpose on earth, anyway.. "You, they, who ever framed me!?", Andrew shouted. "Of course we did dear, how would your wallet have been left at that bust?", Amelia said seemingly unaware of why he was angry at all.
"All you do is say yes" She said. "You say yes, and life goes back, all records wiped, job back, and all you would have to do is sign documents we send you giving permission for a few things every now and then." She explained to him slowly and methodically. "So, yes, or no?", Amelia asked. "Your psychopathic!" , he shouted. "Highly Sociopathic dear, there is a difference", Amelia corrected. "Yes, or no", she asked again. Andrews head hurt as he considered the choices he was given, he had to be very careful what he said. "Yes" Andrew said. "THUD!", the wall to Andrews left imploded with a flash and a cloud of white smoke and a swarm of armed police carrying some form of semi automatic weapon, Andrew recognised it as an MP5 from his video games, stormed in shouting and barging to surround the old woman. Andrew Clark never left that room, the undercover officer who had used the Fašade of Andrew as not more than a trap, simply dropped it, David Cane walked out instead to be greeted with piles of paper work and a very large pay package.
"Well, that was quite the fortnight David said to himself as he drove home", completely oblivious to the small car tailing him. The driver looking like any other, normal, man.

Two weeks later:
David Cane sat in his living room watching television, he was about to die. "3...2...1..." A normal, conspicuous man said from a room across the street, the room in question full of empty paper cups, boxes, pealing wallpaper, dead flys, and flys aimlessly buzzing and bumping into things, whist holding a very unusual and none-conspicuous silenced sniper rifle. The .50 cal round soared across the street at 1022mph hitting David before the sound did, redecorating his living room wall in a somewhat interesting shade of brain and blood. The seemingly normal man dismantled the sniper rifle and placed it in a padded suitcase and ticked one of the 15.

To be fair, I'm impressed with my 12 year old self, apparently I got a C because of my horrid spelling (I fixed the spelling for VT, it was hardly readable before)

December 11th, 2014, 11:38 AM
It was pretty good to read and I was intrigued but it ended so fast I don't understand what happened??