PDA

View Full Version : How can I help my friend?


romes3
October 28th, 2014, 10:08 PM
I just found out that my best friend has an eating disorder. There will be times where he won't eat at all for some time. I want to help him, but I don't want to get all up in his business. What can I do to help?

queenofcontrariety
October 28th, 2014, 10:27 PM
Don't pressure him into eating or make him feel guilty about it, I can say from personal experience that it'll just make him shut down and be more hesitant to talk about, or maybe he's at a point where he's ready for help if he had been the one to tell you. Just be there for him and be supportive so he knows he always has someone to lean on when he needs to. I mean you might be able to coax out of him why he does this and be able to come together on a solution.

Is he by any chance a wrestler? I know that sounds strange but I know guys here are gearing up for the season and coaches are pressuring them to get down to a certain weight class and often times they feel like not eating is their only option. Just a different perspective

romes3
October 29th, 2014, 06:38 AM
No, he's a runner though. I know that he gets really picky with what to eat when it comes to meets.

Abhorrence
October 29th, 2014, 06:56 AM
To be honest, there's no real way to help someone with a thing like this. You've just got to let him know that you're there for him and continue to be supportive.

romes3
October 29th, 2014, 05:48 PM
Thanks guys!

hazelteen
July 18th, 2015, 10:50 AM
Let him talk if he wants to talk but don't pressure him. I would say it's ok to ask him some questions about this eating disorder as long as they are respectful and understanding.
if he asks you if he is fat or similar it is important that you say no and if he continues to ask, you should remind him gently that you have already told him no and that you don't think it would be helpful to continue talking about that (he will probably be seeking reassurance but don't keep providing him with that because he needs to know himself)

I have had anorexia and what I felt the most effective cure was is to stop being so precise.
If a dietitian recommends a "serving" ensure he doesn't weigh it or measure it. Get it roughly about right (obviously not a lot less) but normallity is KEY.
It may seem ironic but it really is. He should not be so fixated on getting it precise.

Remember that as much as you can HELP him by being supportive, this is his battle and only he can win it. You can't fight your friends battles.

When you are with him, don't mention any of your unhealthy eating habits (if you have any) ie skipping meals or over eating. This will confuse him or give him new ideas.

You are clearly a very kind and responsible friend to be conserved for him so I would use my tips and your own judgement as to what is a good way to deal with it.

I really do wish you and your friend all the best.

Abhorrence
July 18th, 2015, 11:13 AM
Let him talk if he wants to talk but don't pressure him. I would say it's ok to ask him some questions about this eating disorder as long as they are respectful and understanding.
if he asks you if he is fat or similar it is important that you say no and if he continues to ask, you should remind him gently that you have already told him no and that you don't think it would be helpful to continue talking about that (he will probably be seeking reassurance but don't keep providing him with that because he needs to know himself)

I have had anorexia and what I felt the most effective cure was is to stop being so precise.
If a dietitian recommends a "serving" ensure he doesn't weigh it or measure it. Get it roughly about right (obviously not a lot less) but normallity is KEY.
It may seem ironic but it really is. He should not be so fixated on getting it precise.

Remember that as much as you can HELP him by being supportive, this is his battle and only he can win it. You can't fight your friends battles.

When you are with him, don't mention any of your unhealthy eating habits (if you have any) ie skipping meals or over eating. This will confuse him or give him new ideas.

You are clearly a very kind and responsible friend to be conserved for him so I would use my tips and your own judgement as to what is a good way to deal with it.

I really do wish you and your friend all the best.
So this is an example of an old thread. Check the date on the top bar of the latest post. This one says October 2014 so it has definitely been inactive for two months or more. :locked: