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handle with care
October 23rd, 2014, 02:15 AM
Sorry if it is hard to understand I have very poor grammar

I love her she loves me not well sorta
I loved her and she loved me
she left me unwillingly well sorta
she said she didn't want to and we both cried
for her I have no idea how long
for me a week
I know I'm weak
but it's hard when someone tames the monster within
it's hard when someone makes you feel human
over a year has passed yet my love won't die
she once brought up old times and I wanted to cry
Not because of the pain she had caused me
but because of the confusion she left me
I'm the puppy you can beat and starve
but remains loyal and waits at your side
But she never meant to hurt me
I had tried to fill the void she left
And I succeeded for a little while
but you can't use a square plug for a round hole
eventually the void grew
I wish not to steal her from another
he deserves her more
I will just wait at her side
waiting for a bone it to be petted
I'm broken just another toy car missing a wheel
many say my eyes have lost all emotion
you would swear I have died
however I was not so lucky
ropes break, you wake up safe, or sisters save your life
she doesn't need me
I'm just a trumpet without valves
I can't be saved and I don't think she would want to
without my problems I wouldn't be the boy she loved
the boy who was happy just to make another laugh
who hides behind a smile so he won't worry his friends
So warm yet so cold

I liked her since middle school looking back its funny didnt speak to her until my 8th grade year I first saw her in 7th grade it was during band practice I could tell she was troubled but she was still so happy she reminded me of a part of my self I blocked out for years it wasn't just that she was so sweet to everyone around her but I was afraid to approach her we didn't have an actual conversation until I was in 10th grade our band director took the band to ship Island we both liked each other but neither of us acted I was afraid she would instantly reject me as I had low self-esteem it was not until the end of the school year we became a couple and it was only because a mutual friend made it possible I remember holding her the whole way home and when we got back she ddug me behind the band room where we had our first kiss we broke up not to long after my birthday we remained friends till this day even now she frowns at my scars and worries when she sees a cut even if it was from yard work she tell me its because she cares when I ask her why she says it is because im her friend she knows about my suicidal past and tells me if I go people will miss me but at times I think if it weren't for me she would be happier I feel like a bad person and that I bring her down I just hope she knows I still love her and I would stand before a firing squad if it would make her happy I still remember her birthday, her love of minecraft, her love of bananas and how my stupid stunts made her laugh she was my beauty and I was her beast im sorry and I love her

RRay99
November 12th, 2014, 06:01 PM
That's a really beautiful poem Andrew. It's sad, but you weren't trying to hide that. I hope you find the happiness you deserve. You have a big heart. Stay positive

Karkat
November 12th, 2014, 06:44 PM
Aww. Poor grammar or not, I could feel the soul in this piece. Beautiful. As a fellow trumpet player (I assume that's your instrument), I can appreciate the "trumpet without valves" analogy.

Also, I wanted to point out how the title of this thread in combination with your username is almost like a poem all itself- maybe even a preface:

http://i59.tinypic.com/10dulg9.jpg

Wonderful.