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View Full Version : I don't want to get over anxiety, has anyone ever felt like this?


Alleycat23
October 22nd, 2014, 06:01 PM
I have severe anxiety and i personally feel that i am also depressed. I have been suffering from them since i was a really young for reasons i won't get in to. I left school early and i rarely go out anymore. The thing is i have built my believes and my own philosophys around my anxiety and it helped that im not blinded by the influence you have by having friends. I feel like i have a talent of seeing things the way they really are. Right now i am on my own by choice and i like who i am. I have now been forced into therapy and im worried if i get better and start to feel happy i will change into someone i would hate now. I watched my brother change when he got over depression and I do not want to be like him at all. Anyway the point is that Im worried that il change. Has anyone felt this way?

James Dean
October 23rd, 2014, 05:53 AM
I see where you're coming from. There are some days in which I am happy that I have social anxiety. It causes less problems for me, there are some situations which I can automatically keep myself away from. Like parties, or public speaking, going up and approaching someone as a friend. Talking to someone who I have romantic feelings for.

I can only say that having a defeatist attitude is not the way to go. Eventually, I am going to have to adapt and work on it. I can't just hide myself from what the world throws at me. Not everyone is perfect, and not everyone is right. Live life happy and enjoy the choices you make. I totally understand what you are saying. It's going to be fine and don't worry too much about it. When it comes to your social anxiety, look out for you and only you. :)

Alleycat23
October 23rd, 2014, 10:27 AM
Thanks for the empathy and advice, it really is much apreciated.

Karkat
October 23rd, 2014, 05:48 PM
Um, no offense, but this isn't a healthy way to see things at all.

I understand where you're coming from, but you can't grow and improve if your only influence is yourself...That's kind of paradoxical. And we all need to learn and grow. All of us. No exceptions. No one is complete.

You may be satisfied with the way you are now, but honestly, it will probably hurt you later on in life. Are you going to be able to have a job and support yourself with this attitude? Are you always going to be content by yourself? (There's nothing wrong with it, but you might find a time where you want companionship.)

This just seems so...Problematic, in my opinion. Sorry.

Alleycat23
October 23rd, 2014, 06:58 PM
Honestly my expectations of how i want live my live are slightly higher than I could personally reach. This is why i have become a realist and a sceptic. I understand my attitude isn't the healthiest and my feelings aren't exactly new to me, i have just gotten a bit more used to them and they have led me to be a little misanthropic. I'm not so much satisfied with myself, just with my believes etc. and right now isolation is the only thing i have come to like.

Karkat
October 23rd, 2014, 08:25 PM
Honestly my expectations of how i want live my live are slightly higher than I could personally reach. This is why i have become a realist and a sceptic. I understand my attitude isn't the healthiest and my feelings aren't exactly new to me, i have just gotten a bit more used to them and they have led me to be a little misanthropic. I'm not so much satisfied with myself, just with my believes etc. and right now isolation is the only thing i have come to like.

It's hard to be a realist if you can't come to terms with the inevitable.

It's not bad to like some isolation, or to become fond of your beliefs, but there is also a point that you have to be reasonable about things- I'd expect you, as a realist, to appreciate that.

Alleycat23
October 23rd, 2014, 09:20 PM
I do get what your saying and i agree with it. When i say i am a realist, i mean about my life. I don't think i am being unreasonable (well not fully) but i will come out and say that its hard sometimes not to use anxiety as a defence mechanism and since im not good at anything at all, then its easy to hide behind my bitter philosophies. There is just so many things in my life that i have messed up. I know i am still young but the reality of my life is i need a completely clean slate and everyone around me has been involved in one mess up or the other, so what is the point when im literally trapped in my screw up of a life.

Karkat
October 23rd, 2014, 09:25 PM
I do get what your saying and i agree with it. When i say i am a realist, i mean about my life. I don't think i am being unreasonable (well not fully) but i will come out and say that its hard sometimes not to use anxiety as a defence mechanism and since im not good at anything at all, then its easy to hide behind my bitter philosophies. There is just so many things in my life that i have messed up. I know i am still young but the reality of my life is i need a completely clean slate and everyone around me has been involved in one mess up or the other, so what is the point when im literally trapped in my screw up of a life.

I get that. I totally do.

Eh, imo, the reality is that no one has a clean slate ever. Shit happens. You have to make the best of what you have in front of you sometimes.

Alleycat23
October 23rd, 2014, 09:36 PM
That is true. I suppose il give the therapy a chance. Sorry, i didnt mean to get deeper into that, though i did appreciate having someone to talk to properly. Thanks

Karkat
October 23rd, 2014, 09:39 PM
That is true. I suppose il give the therapy a chance. Sorry, i didnt mean to get deeper into that, though i did appreciate having someone to talk to properly. Thanks

No, you're fine. You're welcome, and good luck. :)

Gigablue
October 26th, 2014, 08:58 PM
I can kind of relate. I didn't want to get help for anxiety either, but for different reasons. Therapy sucks. It feels horrible while you're doing it, and it felt like it would have been easier to stay the way I was. Things got worse before they got better.

But things eventually got much better. While I still have, and will likely always have anxiety problems, I'm not debilitated. I have the occasional bad day, but I can work around anxiety for the most part. Therapy was unpleasant, but I feel much better after having done toe worst part.

I'm still basically the same person, just better able to function. My personality didn't change. If anything, my personality that was severely hindered by the anxiety is easier to express.

Amy123
October 27th, 2014, 06:31 PM
Know people in your situation good luck