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Stronger
October 8th, 2014, 11:04 PM
*Sorry if this is in the wrong place.*

Anyway, so I've gotten to know one of my co-workers really well over the past few weeks, we are pretty close with one another; to where we both have feelings for each other all that stuff. But to make a long story short, he's had a rough life..gone to hell and back, and I honestly feel like shit sometimes because I don't know how to help him or what to even say. He's been having suicidal thoughts on and off since Sunday, he's living in a toxic environment that's triggering the fucking out of him, he's considered going to a hospital. I broke down two nights ago after I dropped him off at that house, he means the fucking world to me and seeing him at such a low point, tears me a part. So it would be nice to have some words of advice as to how to help him. He's coping for now, but I honestly think its because he knows he has me who will be by his side.

James Dean
October 9th, 2014, 02:17 AM
I am happy that you are supporting him. He seems to be under a great deal of depression and that is exactly what someone who is experiencing that sort of issue needs. Someone to just be there to support and comfort them. Make sure you speak to him constantly to make sure he is fine. Try to help him through it all, ask him to seek help. They have suicide hotlines and things to call. Spend time with him more and understand his situation. You said it yourself, he knows you are so close, so he feels if he were to do something harmful to himself, you wouldn't stand for it. I really hope things go well for him. Enjoy the satisfaction of you showing him love, as he could really use it based on his situation. I hope all goes well for the both of you. :)

xXl0sth0peXx
October 9th, 2014, 07:14 AM
You're doing what you can - be there for him. That's the best thing that you can do for someone in his shoes. Sometimes, you might not have any words to say. But that's okay. You being there and talking to him and making sure he stays safe is more than words will ever be. And it means more to him than I think you know. You're doing the right thing, and you're doing what you can. And its a good thing. Best of luck to him and to you. You both deserve all the happiness the world has to offer.

JamesSuperBoy
October 9th, 2014, 10:19 AM
You're doing what you can - be there for him. That's the best thing that you can do for someone in his shoes. Sometimes, you might not have any words to say. But that's okay. You being there and talking to him and making sure he stays safe is more than words will ever be. And it means more to him than I think you know. You're doing the right thing, and you're doing what you can. And its a good thing. Best of luck to him and to you. You both deserve all the happiness the world has to offer.

This^^

and you have only known him a short time and that maybe makes it harder to think of things to say but just being a friend is a whole lot more than he had before.

CosmicNoodle
October 9th, 2014, 01:41 PM
It's horrible when you see someone you care about in an aweful position. The only thing you can really do is be there for him and let him know you're there for him.

ScottieDog
October 9th, 2014, 04:27 PM
If he is in a really bad place then you can't do much for him other than be there. Mention to him that you're happy to talk and to support in any way you are able to. Sometimes just knowing that there's someone you can phone when your feeling down or someone to moan to can make things a little better. In the long run, he will probably need professional help.

Stronger
October 9th, 2014, 10:10 PM
Thank you all for the advice. :hug:

Mob Boss
October 10th, 2014, 04:07 AM
I was at a suicide seminar not too long ago, actually, at my sisters college. There was this amazing spokesperson there who's father committed suicide. He spoke a lot. But the one thing that resonated with me was simply be a friend or partner. Don't say the grossly common phrase of "It will get better", because we've all heard that cliche shit. But mostly because he's likely heard it and, let's be honest, how helpful is that?

Listen, for one thing. You don't always have to reply or feel the need to tell a story he could relate to. He's going through shit. His own issues that no one else can 100% relate to.

Another thing is -- when dealing with someone suicidal -- offer as little help as possible. You are probably thinking I am batshit insane and out of my mind. But the devices we use to help ourselves, they don't always help others. Our minds are snowflakes; entirely unique. We process events and emotions differently. So of course various tools would help various people. So if you watch Lilo and Stitch and braid your dog's hair to feel better, don't tell him to do the same. Say, "What is it that helps you? What soothes your triggers and brings you comfort?" Toxic environments can be detrimental. But environments are also in a constant change. And we, we're in a constant state of change as well. This place in his life that he's at, it is merely a place. He will stop at many, MANY more places in his life. Some good, some great, some not so great. But the main thing is to recognize and appreciate that it IS just a point in his life. It is not his life's entirety. I feel the fact that he is aware that hospital stay could be beneficial is somewhat a relief. He is not denying there is something wrong. That is always a great option if the thoughts continue and/or progress into actions.

To you... Do not feel shitty if you don't know what to say or how to help him. Sometimes it's better to not say anything, but to be there. And make known that you are definitely there for him to lean on. Suicidal thoughts isolate people, even if they are at a concert packed to the brim with people. Take note of this and push the fact that you ARE there for him and he can tell you anything. You do realize you do know how to help him. In fact, you ARE helping him. By being there you are doing worlds of good. Hope all goes well.

Stronger
October 10th, 2014, 09:47 AM
I was at a suicide seminar not too long ago, actually, at my sisters college. There was this amazing spokesperson there who's father committed suicide. He spoke a lot. But the one thing that resonated with me was simply be a friend or partner. Don't say the grossly common phrase of "It will get better", because we've all heard that cliche shit. But mostly because he's likely heard it and, let's be honest, how helpful is that?

Listen, for one thing. You don't always have to reply or feel the need to tell a story he could relate to. He's going through shit. His own issues that no one else can 100% relate to.

Another thing is -- when dealing with someone suicidal -- offer as little help as possible. You are probably thinking I am batshit insane and out of my mind. But the devices we use to help ourselves, they don't always help others. Our minds are snowflakes; entirely unique. We process events and emotions differently. So of course various tools would help various people. So if you watch Lilo and Stitch and braid your dog's hair to feel better, don't tell him to do the same. Say, "What is it that helps you? What soothes your triggers and brings you comfort?" Toxic environments can be detrimental. But environments are also in a constant change. And we, we're in a constant state of change as well. This place in his life that he's at, it is merely a place. He will stop at many, MANY more places in his life. Some good, some great, some not so great. But the main thing is to recognize and appreciate that it IS just a point in his life. It is not his life's entirety. I feel the fact that he is aware that hospital stay could be beneficial is somewhat a relief. He is not denying there is something wrong. That is always a great option if the thoughts continue and/or progress into actions.

To you... Do not feel shitty if you don't know what to say or how to help him. Sometimes it's better to not say anything, but to be there. And make known that you are definitely there for him to lean on. Suicidal thoughts isolate people, even if they are at a concert packed to the brim with people. Take note of this and push the fact that you ARE there for him and he can tell you anything. You do realize you do know how to help him. In fact, you ARE helping him. By being there you are doing worlds of good. Hope all goes well.

Thank you so much.