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RazorTourniquet
October 4th, 2014, 02:11 AM
I've been a punching bag for a few people in my life. My dad, one of my grandmas, two of my exes, boys at school. Recently, I keep having bad dreams if not nightmares about that time when one of my exes tried to choke me. The dreams are awful, I wake up short of breath, annoyed. But not terrified. The dreams are usually with the same plot: I'm walking in crowded places, feeling safe until he popped up out of nowhere and wants to talk to me, when I refuse and try to leave he keeps on pushing me, holding me down by my shoulders and telling me he can fix it. When I try to run away again he grabs me by the neck. Then I wake up. What the hell do I do? How can I stop this? I just want to sleep normally again.

Buddy 912
October 4th, 2014, 03:09 AM
I've been a punching bag for a few people in my life. My dad, one of my grandmas, two of my exes, boys at school. Recently, I keep having bad dreams if not nightmares about that time when one of my exes tried to choke me. The dreams are awful, I wake up short of breath, annoyed. But not terrified. The dreams are usually with the same plot: I'm walking in crowded places, feeling safe until he popped up out of nowhere and wants to talk to me, when I refuse and try to leave he keeps on pushing me, holding me down by my shoulders and telling me he can fix it. When I try to run away again he grabs me by the neck. Then I wake up. What the hell do I do? How can I stop this? I just want to sleep normally again.

I have found and read that the best way to leave the past behind is to talk about it. If you tell your story to someone, every detail, then you can get it off of your mind.

James Dean
October 4th, 2014, 03:15 AM
I would suggest maybe getting in touch with a counselor or therapist, those nightmares sound very worrisome. I am concerned about your safety and to me that scares me. Possibly finding positive alternatives could also help on the side. Take up something you enjoy doing. Writing, drawing, playing and listening to music exercising. Being confident in yourself, and try to take care of yourself and be kind and lighthearted to everyone.

You'll be fine, just keep your head up about it. I'm not saying those memories don't mean anything, but look towards the future and not the past. Don't be afraid, tell someone. It doesn't mean you're crazy, just it helps to understand the roots of the problems so you can move forward and not let this tackle you. :)

RazorTourniquet
October 4th, 2014, 05:11 AM
I would suggest maybe getting in touch with a counselor or therapist, those nightmares sound very worrisome. I am concerned about your safety and to me that scares me. Possibly finding positive alternatives could also help on the side. Take up something you enjoy doing. Writing, drawing, playing and listening to music exercising. Being confident in yourself, and try to take care of yourself and be kind and lighthearted to everyone.

You'll be fine, just keep your head up about it. I'm not saying those memories don't mean anything, but look towards the future and not the past. Don't be afraid, tell someone. It doesn't mean you're crazy, just it helps to understand the roots of the problems so you can move forward and not let this tackle you. :)

I am afraid that I can't get in touch with a prefessional. I live in a small town and my mum says it's all my fault he tried to kill me so I will have to do it on my own. Talking about it doesn't make it better. My self esteem is low as it could be, I can't even sing, play the piano or listen to Nirvana the way I used to. How can I do it on my own?

Buddy 912
October 4th, 2014, 07:40 AM
RazorTourniquet - You can talk to me. I listen very well.

Uranus
October 4th, 2014, 09:35 AM
When was the original event?
If it was recent, you'll have these problems.
It may take some time if it was. You don't just forget about it easily.
Talking to someone you trust can help.

RazorTourniquet
October 4th, 2014, 02:28 PM
When was the original event?
If it was recent, you'll have these problems.
It may take some time if it was. You don't just forget about it easily.
Talking to someone you trust can help.

It happened a month ago. But the constant daily flashbacks and dreams are seriously messing me up. I know that a month seems like nothing to you but to me it's an eternity. I guess I'll just have to wait. :blue:

Uranus
October 4th, 2014, 02:46 PM
It happened a month ago. But the constant daily flashbacks and dreams are seriously messing me up. I know that a month seems like nothing to you but to me it's an eternity. I guess I'll just have to wait. :blue:

Some things like this aren't forgotten, or moved on from easily.
I'm not surprised that it was a month ago and your still having flashbacks.
Some people can take longer to actually move on.
Talk to your mom and see if there might be some medications to help you with this. Hope you stop having these flashbacks. Good luck ��

RazorTourniquet
October 4th, 2014, 03:08 PM
Some things like this aren't forgotten, or moved on from easily.
I'm not surprised that it was a month ago and your still having flashbacks.
Some people can take longer to actually move on.
Talk to your mom and see if there might be some medications to help you with this. Hope you stop having these flashbacks. Good luck ��

I know what she is gonna say. That it was my fault and that I brought it upon myself. Telling her is not an option. Thank you for the advice anyways. I appreciate it <3

Uranus
October 4th, 2014, 03:13 PM
I know what she is gonna say. That it was my fault and that I brought it upon myself. Telling her is not an option. Thank you for the advice anyways. I appreciate it <3

Well its not your fault. :) if any male puts his hands on a woman to harm her or something similar, it is his fault. Don't blame yourself for this. Never should a man hurt a woman at all. That's wrong in my opinion.

Try talking to your friends mother, an aunt, grandma or your dad.

Good luck �� again <3

Buddy 912
October 5th, 2014, 05:52 AM
I know what she is gonna say. That it was my fault and that I brought it upon myself. Telling her is not an option. Thank you for the advice anyways. I appreciate it <3

PM me with the details or start right here. I don't give advice unless you ask for it.

James Dean
October 5th, 2014, 06:15 AM
I am afraid that I can't get in touch with a prefessional. I live in a small town and my mum says it's all my fault he tried to kill me so I will have to do it on my own. Talking about it doesn't make it better. My self esteem is low as it could be, I can't even sing, play the piano or listen to Nirvana the way I used to. How can I do it on my own?

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Are you certain that there isn't anyone professional you can talk to? At school, they don't have anyone there? I guess I understand then. Don't give up on yourself though. Have you tried again? The first time you do something of course you can lose motivation but you have to keep trying until you succeed. I just want you to be positive about yourself and just think about the future and you shouldn't let this power over you. Talking about it does help, you probably just don't think so. It helps to get your expressions out and be more open about it. Try to get your self esteem up, be positive and happy more. If you make a mistake, just try not to do it next time. Don't be perfect at everything, nobody in the world is perfect. We care about you and support you. :)

jessie3
October 5th, 2014, 09:04 AM
I think in order to get through your abuse, you first have to come to it and accept it as it is. Even if it isn't your fault just accept that you where abuse and get over it. As hard it is to do that, I think it's a good way.

RazorTourniquet
October 5th, 2014, 12:28 PM
Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Are you certain that there isn't anyone professional you can talk to? At school, they don't have anyone there? I guess I understand then. Don't give up on yourself though. Have you tried again? The first time you do something of course you can lose motivation but you have to keep trying until you succeed. I just want you to be positive about yourself and just think about the future and you shouldn't let this power over you. Talking about it does help, you probably just don't think so. It helps to get your expressions out and be more open about it. Try to get your self esteem up, be positive and happy more. If you make a mistake, just try not to do it next time. Don't be perfect at everything, nobody in the world is perfect. We care about you and support you. :)

I talked to my mum. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I am really scared.

Buddy 912
October 5th, 2014, 01:13 PM
I talked to my mum. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I am really scared.

They are there to help you. It will be OK.

allisonmyers
October 5th, 2014, 04:47 PM
it seems you def have some unresolved issues you should try and talk to a therapist even a teacher might be able to help you hang in there

SethfromMI
October 12th, 2014, 05:40 PM
I am so sorry you have had to experience that. As already been mentioned I would recommend seeing a counselor or therapist. some even specialize in sleep disorders. best of luck to you.

Karkat
October 12th, 2014, 05:48 PM
It happened a month ago. But the constant daily flashbacks and dreams are seriously messing me up. I know that a month seems like nothing to you but to me it's an eternity. I guess I'll just have to wait. :blue:

I talked to my mum. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I am really scared.

It's not surprising that you're still having flashbacks. A month isn't a very long time (I know you just said this).

The memory is still very fresh. It will get better with time, especially if friends and professionals are there to help you through it.

I hope your visit went well. :)