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View Full Version : Venting, Kind Of


nikkissippi121
August 20th, 2014, 02:08 PM
I was molested by my 5th grade teacher, and I often have mixed feelings about him. See, he was my 2nd grade teacher's brother, and when we passed his classroom back then, he would stop me and we'd talk for a few minutes and then I'd run off to lunch so I wouldn't be late. In hindsight, I wonder if he was grooming me. Regardless, I got him as my 5th grade teacher, per his request, and by then I'd developed a crush on him, since, to an innocent kid, he seemed like a nice man, and he was handsome. It wasn't until I was in his class that I realized how awful he was. There are large chunks of time I don't remember, but I remember events like him trying to drag me out of the room by my ankles, forcing me to slow dance with him, drawing on my face, etc. Although I don't have any clear memories of anything explicitly sexual, but I know I have lots of repressed memories of that time, and I had all the telltale signs of sexual abuse - I became withdrawn, and the stories I wrote were suddenly very sexual, despite my (consciously) knowing little about it. He's currently a 7th grade teacher at the middle school my nephew will be going to the year after this upcoming one.
I tried to report him to the vice principal (who was a friend of mine), once. I even brought a petition that had been signed by about 50 students (and there were only 100 in the grade). I was simply told that he was a good teacher and that they wouldn't fire him - that was it.
Sometimes I still feel scared of him, even now - I feel like, if I report him, he'll get away with it and I'll get in trouble - and because he has at least one kid (his first son was born the year I was in his class), I don't want to ruin his family. Sometimes I forgive him - I feel like it may have been my fault, since I had a crush on him, and he never seemed like a bad guy. Other times I just don't know what to feel.
It's been 9 years now, you'd think I'd get over it, but I just can't seem to. Even my parents don't know, although they hate him for the non-sexual stuff I told them he did. I think they tried to get him fired, too, but it didn't happen.
I guess I just felt like I needed to get this out there. Thanks for listening to my vent, and if this is in the wrong spot, feel free to move it. :)

Gottaloveaginger14
August 21st, 2014, 05:48 PM
Hey girl I would recommend talking to a therapist or another professional about this to help you get some peace of mind and closure
I'm willing to talk anytime if you want to talk or vent or whatever

nikkissippi121
August 21st, 2014, 08:14 PM
Hey girl I would recommend talking to a therapist or another professional about this to help you get some peace of mind and closure
I'm willing to talk anytime if you want to talk or vent or whatever

Thanks. I tried talking to my school social worker about it about a year and a half ago, but she basically didn't believe me and told me not to ruin his life if I had no proof. I have no health insurance ATM, so I can't go see a professional or anything.

Gottaloveaginger14
September 2nd, 2014, 07:39 PM
Most states have free or extremly cheap programs to help with this kind of thing for people without insurance
try talking to a police officer or even getting in touch with a da or ada
if I can help more let me know

Leyna
September 29th, 2014, 09:02 PM
My dad abuses me. It started a few months ago, right after my mom died. He gets drunk a lot and that's when it happens. He usually gets home late, so when I'm sleeping, he'll come into my room and wake me up by spanking me. It's sexual and physical. He says he used to do this with my mom, but since she Isn't here anymore, he forces me to. I get scared sometimes, because he's really strong and he could hurt me really badly if he went any harder.
I've been staying at my friends house though. So, yeah, it's not as bad anymore. Anyway, thanks for listening. I needed to get this out there.:whoops:

jordanhardy
September 29th, 2014, 09:21 PM
My dad abuses me. It started a few months ago, right after my mom died. He gets drunk a lot and that's when it happens. He usually gets home late, so when I'm sleeping, he'll come into my room and wake me up by spanking me. It's sexual and physical. He says he used to do this with my mom, but since she Isn't here anymore, he forces me to. I get scared sometimes, because he's really strong and he could hurt me really badly if he went any harder.
I've been staying at my friends house though. So, yeah, it's not as bad anymore. Anyway, thanks for listening. I needed to get this out there.:whoops:

I would suggest going to the police about this or an adult family member or somebody at school as soon as possible. He shouldn't be allowed to get away with this. Is staying at a friends a permanent thing, or are you expected to return to your dad?

As for the original post. Tell your parents what you remember. Keep a diary of all memories you have a write them in as much detail as possible. Seek help from a therapist who isn't connected to the school. I'd also suggest going to the police about you teacher. I know you don't want to ruin his future, but if he did this to you then what's to stop him from doing it to another pupil or his own child.

James Dean
September 30th, 2014, 04:25 AM
Thanks. I tried talking to my school social worker about it about a year and a half ago, but she basically didn't believe me and told me not to ruin his life if I had no proof. I have no health insurance ATM, so I can't go see a professional or anything.

That really isn't a good excuse. There are free programs in your area that I'm sure give free counseling to young adults who have been abused. You are allowed to feel upset about this. I am deeply sorry that you had to go through this and I hope only the best for you. Everything will pan out fine, just don't doubt yourself. Talk to someone if you feel this is bothering you mentally. You are the victim. It isn't your fault. You can do it. Take care of yourself please. :)

Uranus
September 30th, 2014, 06:42 PM
I'd recommend speaking to a trusted adult, or a staff member who might be a family friend and discuss the issue with them. You may forgive him, and it may not be entirely sexual abuse, he could try to do more since you haven't really done anything and he will think that you won't do anything, resulting with whatever he may have in mind. You should also talk to the principal again...who will they believe? A teacher who has had numerous reports, or an innocent girl? You don't want to have to deal with this for the rest of your time being his student.

ScottieDog
October 2nd, 2014, 11:02 AM
I don't know how things are in America but here in the UK schools are extra careful now about teachers and if someone makes a complaint. If you know of other students who were taught by him and have similar stories to tell, it might be worth getting together and try making the complaint again. You can't let other students be at risk of him as chances are he'll keep doing it until he gets caught. I know if that happened in the UK there would be a proper investigation and the school would take it mega seriously.

As others have said, if you a re worried about your feelings, talk to a therapist or school counsellor or such.