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View Full Version : Breaking down.


Navi
August 14th, 2014, 09:56 PM
It seems like I've only been coming here when I've needed something. Tonight, it's the same thing. As much as I hate saying it, I need help. Apologies if this post doesn't make sense. It's rather late, and I have no energy.

I want to be happy again. That's all. Sure, I have moments of temporary happiness, but they last shortly before I break down again.

I haven't been happy since I was about 11 or 12. I can go on and on why that's so.
Lately, it just feels like: Life's become boring. I've dreaded a lot more things. Tensions are running high between me and my family. As of lately, each day feels like an eternal struggle. I've been extremely tired. I've been tempted to want to quit my job, as much as I used to love it. I lack motivation. I feel like anyone and everything pulls against me, for some reason.

I feel like I'm living some double life. At church and when I'm with my few friends, I pretend to be super awesome. Having a great time, even if I don't say much. In reality, I usually don't feel too well. Living as a religious person and not being straight poses a problem. I wish I could be open, but if I did, it'd be social suicide.

I've told my mom I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, but it seems she pushes me off and pretends we're a happy family, which is far from the truth. If I tell a friend I've had an off week, all they say is "aww", and carry on. I'm trying to slowly reach out, darnit! No one beside people online pick up on anything. Thankfully, I don't have intentions to harm myself, or anyone else. I'm extremely thankful.
I just know that what I feel isn't right. I want to be happy again. I honestly know I'd probably benefit from seeing a doctor, but, again, mom thinks we're on cloud nine. Also, not having insurance and being broke kinda sucks.

What am I asking? I'm not too sure. I just want to be happy again, I just lack whatever it takes. I just want to be happy soon. I've been sitting in a dark tunnel for what seems like eternity. Please, light, let me find you. There's a lot more I could add to this post, but I'll refrain.

Pulp501
August 15th, 2014, 04:00 AM
I feel the same way sort of. I just haven't been happy in years. I start to get better and something bad happens, life just keeps bringing me back down.

Leprous
August 28th, 2014, 07:29 AM
It seems like I've only been coming here when I've needed something. Tonight, it's the same thing. As much as I hate saying it, I need help. Apologies if this post doesn't make sense. It's rather late, and I have no energy.

I want to be happy again. That's all. Sure, I have moments of temporary happiness, but they last shortly before I break down again.

I haven't been happy since I was about 11 or 12. I can go on and on why that's so.
Lately, it just feels like: Life's become boring. I've dreaded a lot more things. Tensions are running high between me and my family. As of lately, each day feels like an eternal struggle. I've been extremely tired. I've been tempted to want to quit my job, as much as I used to love it. I lack motivation. I feel like anyone and everything pulls against me, for some reason.

I feel like I'm living some double life. At church and when I'm with my few friends, I pretend to be super awesome. Having a great time, even if I don't say much. In reality, I usually don't feel too well. Living as a religious person and not being straight poses a problem. I wish I could be open, but if I did, it'd be social suicide.

I've told my mom I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, but it seems she pushes me off and pretends we're a happy family, which is far from the truth. If I tell a friend I've had an off week, all they say is "aww", and carry on. I'm trying to slowly reach out, darnit! No one beside people online pick up on anything. Thankfully, I don't have intentions to harm myself, or anyone else. I'm extremely thankful.
I just know that what I feel isn't right. I want to be happy again. I honestly know I'd probably benefit from seeing a doctor, but, again, mom thinks we're on cloud nine. Also, not having insurance and being broke kinda sucks.

What am I asking? I'm not too sure. I just want to be happy again, I just lack whatever it takes. I just want to be happy soon. I've been sitting in a dark tunnel for what seems like eternity. Please, light, let me find you. There's a lot more I could add to this post, but I'll refrain.

Hey there buddy, I know how you feel, and if you ever need someone to talk to who know what you feel, just lemme know. Stay strong.