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View Full Version : Do you think I was taked advantage of?


ksdnfkfr
August 13th, 2014, 11:58 AM
Wasn't sure where to ask this. I had a friend that I became friends with when he moved next door when we were both 9. Right about the time we turned 13, we started experimenting sexually. Now I enjoyed what we did, but it was all totally his idea. Some people have questioned me about doing this kind of stuff at only 13 and also me being autistic and maybe being taken advantage of.

I found out that he had been doing stuff with a 15 year old guy starting shortly before he started wanting to do stuff with me. Which means he picked it up from an older kid and was maybe too advanced for our age. But the most we did was oral sex and have read other 13 year old guys i think believable who say they have too.

So I really liked it a lot and was willing to do it, so I don't know. What do you think?

CosmicNoodle
August 13th, 2014, 01:04 PM
Well I don't think you where taken advantage of, so long as:
-Your Autism DIDN'T give you less understsanding about what was happening
-You where concenting
-You understaood the risk and advantages of what was happening

Provided you meet those I don't think you where taken advantage of, DID you meet all of those criteria?

Karkat
August 13th, 2014, 02:33 PM
Well I don't think you where taken advantage of, so long as:
-Your Autism DIDN'T give you less understsanding about what was happening
-You where concenting
-You understaood the risk and advantages of what was happening

Provided you meet those I don't think you where taken advantage of, DID you meet all of those criteria?

I've got to agree here- you have always seemed to have a high... Awareness of things, I don't know how to explain that.

I feel this is different than if you were mid-functioning, etc. You did have an awareness of what was going on, and as long as you agreed to it, and you feel you are competent enough to make the decision (which is a no-question. Ren is just including this for the sake that I'd include this for anyone. I'm not trying to imply that autism = incompetence, because it absolutely does not. I'm more referring to maturity, and so on.) and YOU don't feel you were taken advantage of, it seems fine in my opinion.

I feel this is also something you should decide for yourself as well.

Edit:

I hope I didn't say anything to offend, my words are kind of failing me today.

peyton2000
August 13th, 2014, 02:36 PM
You are very deep and intelligent if you got taken advantage of it was you being so sweet or kuz of hormones not because of autism

CosmicNoodle
August 13th, 2014, 03:01 PM
I've got to agree here- you have always seemed to have a high... Awareness of things, I don't know how to explain that.

I feel this is different than if you were mid-functioning, etc. You did have an awareness of what was going on, and as long as you agreed to it, and you feel you are competent enough to make the decision (which is a no-question. Ren is just including this for the sake that I'd include this for anyone. I'm not trying to imply that autism = incompetence, because it absolutely does not. I'm more referring to maturity, and so on.) and YOU don't feel you were taken advantage of, it seems fine in my opinion.

I feel this is also something you should decide for yourself as well.

Edit:

I hope I didn't say anything to offend, my words are kind of failing me today.

I was hoping not to offend as well, somehoe this seems like a very sensetive topic when it really shouldnt be. I put it down to our ignorance, I have no doubt Ezra is looking at us going "What's up with these two"

Karkat
August 13th, 2014, 03:11 PM
I was hoping not to offend as well, somehoe this seems like a very sensetive topic when it really shouldnt be. I put it down to our ignorance, I have no doubt Ezra is looking at us going "What's up with these two"

Well actually, there is a large possibility that I could be on the spectrum, this was more about the fact that I'm having a bit of trouble with my fluency today.

I might come off wrong because I'm unable to be...Eloquent enough.

MatiasKun
August 13th, 2014, 03:14 PM
i guess thats pretty normal many 13 yo boys have expermiented, and if u ddint feel forced then u werent taken advantaged of

CosmicNoodle
August 13th, 2014, 03:14 PM
Well actually, there is a large possibility that I could be on the spectrum, this was more about the fact that I'm having a bit of trouble with my fluency today.

I might come off wrong because I'm unable to be...Eloquent enough.

I was suspected to be on the spectrum for a long time, but then they finally tested me and nope, I was just a disturbed weird kid.
Anyway, super off topic.

I have something else to add, after talking to you on here, and seeing your general interacion I seriously doubt your condition would impare your ability to judge the situation, I don't think you where taken advatage of, but what do you think?
Also, liuke he said^ Its normal for 13 year old's to experiment

Luminous
August 13th, 2014, 03:20 PM
Teen Sexuality and Gender :arrow: Abuse

ksdnfkfr
August 13th, 2014, 07:02 PM
Well I don't think you where taken advantage of, so long as:
-Your Autism DIDN'T give you less understsanding about what was happening
-You where concenting
-You understaood the risk and advantages of what was happening

Provided you meet those I don't think you where taken advantage of, DID you meet all of those criteria?

Yes I believe met them. And my dad knew something was going on between us, and would have been all over it if he thought anything wrong was being done to me.


I've got to agree here- you have always seemed to have a high... Awareness of things, I don't know how to explain that.

I feel this is different than if you were mid-functioning, etc. You did have an awareness of what was going on, and as long as you agreed to it, and you feel you are competent enough to make the decision (which is a no-question. Ren is just including this for the sake that I'd include this for anyone. I'm not trying to imply that autism = incompetence, because it absolutely does not. I'm more referring to maturity, and so on.) and YOU don't feel you were taken advantage of, it seems fine in my opinion.

I feel this is also something you should decide for yourself as well.

Edit:

I hope I didn't say anything to offend, my words are kind of failing me today.

actually I am mid-functioning autistic (used to be severely autistic). I have a lot of awareness impairments like lacking self awareness and poor awareness of my surroundings etc. There's some stuff posted on forums am told I have a lot of awareness/insight about. But there's other stuff everyone seems to get except me and I can't join in on the thread.

.....anyways, I don't think I was taken advantage of really or that he did anything wrong. Just wondering what others thought, to make sure to myself I'm right about thinking that way.

I guess the only bad part of it is that he picked that stuff up from an older kid he was doing stuff with and then tried it out on me.

BTW, nothing either of you wrote seemed remotely offensive or whatever to me.....Then again that's the sort of thing I'm less likely to pick up on aha :P

Karkat
August 13th, 2014, 11:15 PM
Yes I believe met them. And my dad knew something was going on between us, and would have been all over it if he thought anything wrong was being done to me.




actually I am mid-functioning autistic (used to be severely autistic). I have a lot of awareness impairments like lacking self awareness and poor awareness of my surroundings etc. There's some stuff posted on forums am told I have a lot of awareness/insight about. But there's other stuff everyone seems to get except me and I can't join in on the thread.

.....anyways, I don't think I was taken advantage of really or that he did anything wrong. Just wondering what others thought, to make sure to myself I'm right about thinking that way.

I guess the only bad part of it is that he picked that stuff up from an older kid he was doing stuff with and then tried it out on me.

BTW, nothing either of you wrote seemed remotely offensive or whatever to me.....Then again that's the sort of thing I'm less likely to pick up on aha :P

It's hard to judge something like that over the internet because obviously some people are more adept at certain things than others. :P

I guess I just haven't met anyone mid-functioning with the communication skills you have, but that could just be because this is the internet, and that's different than in person.

Anyways, yeah, I agree. But that seems more like a HE was taken advantage of, not so much you, if that makes sense?

Hah, I'm glad. I can never tell when something I say is going to set someone off. Can kinda relate to being oblivious to that, lol

ksdnfkfr
August 14th, 2014, 12:14 AM
It's hard to judge something like that over the internet because obviously some people are more adept at certain things than others. :P

I guess I just haven't met anyone mid-functioning with the communication skills you have, but that could just be because this is the internet, and that's different than in person.

It's all text/internet. My real life communication skills are practically non-existent. There is someone on Wrong Planet who is severely autistic and intellectually disabled who writes incredible stuff. So is probably one of those "savant" things I guess.

Savant syndrome is a condition in which a person with a mental disability, such as an autism spectrum disorder, demonstrates profound and prodigious capacities or abilities far in excess of what would be considered normal. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome

Remora
August 14th, 2014, 12:27 AM
Well, i don't think so... i'd say i'd taken advantage of someone who was a year older than me, me beeing slightly autistic and 14 and him beeing 15 and, well, not very intelligent. I did ask him if he was sure about it all repetively but i think the only reason he confirmed every time was because of the pressure.

For you, you knew what you were doing. I really don't think you had been taken advantage of.

Karkat
August 14th, 2014, 05:35 AM
It's all text/internet. My real life communication skills are practically non-existent. There is someone on Wrong Planet who is severely autistic and intellectually disabled who writes incredible stuff. So is probably one of those "savant" things I guess.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome

I see.

Actually, I can relate. I'm much more... Eloquent in text. I can't talk to people in person without A. Slipping up, and making some sort of speech or fluency error, or B. Freezing up.

I'm a lot different online. Truer, even, maybe.

So yeah anyways, makes sense.

ugaboy
August 14th, 2014, 03:44 PM
So I really liked it a lot and was willing to do it, so I don't know. What do you think?

I think that next to last sentence may hold the answer. I really don't think you were taken advantage of. Sounds like something you both wanted to try, and ended up enjoying it. If you think it was a good experience overall, then just enjoy the memory, and hope it happens again.

Pulp501
August 15th, 2014, 03:45 AM
It sounds to me like you understood, consented, and enjoyed what you two did, so I wouldn't say you were taken advantage of.

Bull
August 15th, 2014, 04:46 AM
Ezra, you are so aware of and I think comfortable with who you are. You have amazing insight to life. So, I think you were curious and a friend was inviting and you responded. You found it enjoyable. You were not, in my opinion, taken advantage of. The fact that he was experienced and you were not doesn't enter into the issue if he did not pressure you to do something you did not want to do. You are an inspiration to me, and I am sure to many others on VT. Also, I think you and your dad have a great relationship. You are very lucky to have that kind of dad.

DeadEyes
September 24th, 2014, 07:13 AM
I guess the only bad part of it is that he picked that stuff up from an older kid he was doing stuff with and then tried it out on me.

We all have to learn somewhere.

zack.zack
September 24th, 2014, 09:11 AM
if it was an activity that you were a willing participant in and you fully understood what was happening at the time, then I dont feel you were taken advantage of. Though the other boy was experimenting with the 15 yo and may have had a little more experience, doesnt mean that his wanting to experiment with you was to take advantage of you -- he might really like you.

Noody
September 24th, 2014, 02:34 PM
I personally don't think you were taken advantage of so long as you knew what was happening and that you gave consent.