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View Full Version : I'm trying to get through it, just like you.


Nonymouskay13
July 1st, 2014, 11:22 AM
I'm writing this not only for me, but to let other people know that you are not alone.

Below is my story, please don't judge or show hate. But also don't hesitate to ask me questions or even give me a little advice!

Hi, I am 16 years old.
I'm an only child and raised by a single father my whole life. I would say that my life is pretty normal. I go to school, I have great friends, a pet dog, all that good stuff. I seem to be a positive, happy, bright and bubbly person...which I am. But just...not all the time. I started experiencing depression my freshman year in high school. I didn't know why I felt the way I did. And they was no way in hell I would ever bring my feelings up to my dad! By the time I reached my sophomore year, I learned to ignore my depression, and hide my feelings. I was pretty good at hiding those feelings until about half way through first semester of that year... Those depressed feelings became overpowering. I didn't know how to control my emotions anymore. One minute I was happy, and the next I was sad again. Literally like a roller coaster! That year I started to cut myself. A lot. I couldn't tell you when the first time I cut was. But it started, and it got worst fast. I went from one or two cuts a day, to cutting in the morning, to cutting in the morning and the night, to cutting in the morning, in the bathroom at school, and then some more at night. I began to hate myself for doing it, but cutting was like a "high" for me. Later, my dad, my aunt and grandma found out. I was already been going to a therapist before anyone knew about my cutting. When she found out, I felt like she was looking at me differently. She didn't believe anything I said, almost like she found pleasure at the fact that she thought something was wrong with me when I said I was fine. My family took all my razors away from me, but what they didn't know was that I would cut with glass, knives, tape dispensers, broken mirrors, and screwdrivers. I didn't dare to tell them or get caught again. My family always saw the people in our family to be emotionally strong. We could do and overcome anything. My dad still to this day doesn't understand why I cut and he hardly ever talks about it. My dad convinced me that I was ok, and of course I told him I was fine, mostly to get out of therapy and to try to get things back to normal. And that's what happened. If you were to ask me how I'm doing now? I will tell you that I'm OK. Just like everyone else in this world, I have good days, and I have bad days. What I like to call, dark, cold nights still come to me where I can't sleep, and if I do finally sleep, it's no more than 2 or 3 hours. But I'm getting through it. Do I still cut? Technically yes, every now and then I may slip up.

Most importantly, my advice to others?
I want to tell you to stay positive, but I know if you experienced the same as I did that's not what you really want to hear. But it's what you need to hear. I can't say that I'm perfect now, because I'm not. I can't say that I'm 100% ok! because I'm not. But I can tell you that it will get better. I never seems like it at the moment but you will look back at yourself and think, wow I have already made so many great steps forward what's a few more? You are better than your biggest fear. Love YOU the way YOU are.

CosmicNoodle
July 1st, 2014, 11:36 AM
I found this very encouraging to read, that end biy was nice.
Your SH story is basically the same as mine, it always seems to start small and spyral, but I'm glad your getting better :)

Good luck. Keep trudging soldier.

Nonymouskay13
July 1st, 2014, 11:41 AM
Thank you! That is great to hear!

Living For Love
July 2nd, 2014, 05:27 AM
Cutting and Self Harm :arrow2: Uplifting Stories and Messages.