View Full Version : Opening up about your abuse?

June 28th, 2014, 10:52 AM
So, I was wondering for the people who've been through abuse. How did you handle talking about it? If at all?

For me, at first when the abuse started I was too embarrassed to tell anyone it was happening. Thought i'd be able to handle it on my own, and it'll pass soon enough. But the more frequent it became, I became more aware of how weak I am to fight it and eventually I got away with it with a help of a few adult friends.
But even after it all happened and was behind me, I couldn't really admit it had happened. Especially not on the sexual abuse.
I just hid it from my friends. But they saw through it fairly quickly seeing as when anyone of them touched me i'd bark at them or get away and I become a lot more alone and sad then I was before. At first they thought it was because I lost my parents, but eventually they realized it was more.
I told them about the abuse, but kept away the detail of the sexual abuse. I even hid the sexual abuse from my boyfriend, always blaming not wanting to do anything sexual on other things: being tired, wanting to play games, not ready, etc.
Only recently I opened up to him and told him. I'm happy I did, he's really helping me cope with it all.

So what about you guys? How long until you were feeling ready to talk about it? Why did you or didn't you?

June 28th, 2014, 02:47 PM
very, very few people know about my abuse. honestly, i think for me it's more of a pride thing, almost. i don't want people looking at me like i'm weak or fragile because i put up with physical, mental, and sexual abuse for so long. i hate it when people pity me, and i know that a person'a natural reaction to finding out something like that is to pity the person that went through it. that's why the only people that know is my mom (she knew it was happening but didn't really say anything or do anything so yeah), my old best friend, and my current boyfriend knows a little tiny bit of it. but i'm just not comfortable talking about it. naturally, i like to keep things private and to myself. especially things like that.

June 28th, 2014, 11:45 PM
I was open about my sexual abuse at the time it happened. The reason was that I was too young to understand what my abuser did to me. I just knew that it was something I didn't like and so I told my foster mom and my grandma about it.
I'm somehow still troubleed that this telling a grown up about it destroyed a whole family...the lives of good people went downhill because of my telling them what their son did to me.
If I had been older I would have never told anyone, it would have been to embarrassing to talk about it and I would have understood the consequences better.I never talk to anyone about it, not even my therapist knows all the details and I would never tell anyone around me, none of my friends ever knew. I don't want them to ask me stuff about it or feel they have to treat me somehow different because of what happened to me. So nobody around me knows this ever happened.

I never really talk about the physical abuse that still happens either. A lot more people know about it than about the sexual abuse because it is way harder to hide but my friends know that they should not ask me anything. I don't want to be pitied and I don't want them to try to help me cuz they don't understand the situation anyway. I'm ashamed when people find out about it and ask questions. I feel so helpless then.

Even here on the internet it is kinda hard for me to talk about it. I often feel people think I'm stupid and laugh about me cuz.I let these things happening.

Do I even make sense? It is ridiculous how it is even hard for me to open up about why I'm not open about my abuse.

So yeah, I'm not open about it and don't plan to be.

June 30th, 2014, 03:47 AM
I don't think anyone is laughing at you. You're going through something very difficult. I can understand where you're coming from though. Most people just don't know how to deal with stuff like that. So when they find out what you're going through, they just don't know how to react properly.
But I doubt anyone thinks less of you. It took me a long time to actually open up and accept help from others. At first, I would sit in front of the psychologist and just sit silently the entire session, or talk about random school crap I don't even care about.

July 9th, 2014, 09:59 AM
Very few people know I was abused, and until the other night when I told my boyfriend no one knew the details or how bad the abuse was. I was actually forced into human traffiking as a child and had videos and pictures taken of me which would be considered child pornogrophy. The one thing i really did find helpful was writing about it and im now in the process of turning all the things I wrote down into a blog so other people can learn based on what I went through. Feel free to check it out at Ramblingsofanopenmindedginger.wordpress.com (warning I just started it last week)