View Full Version : Too anxious to talk to girls I like

June 25th, 2014, 04:28 AM
Could this classify as social anxiety disorder? I'm too anxious to talk to girls I'm interested in and would like to ask out etc.
I've been like this as long as I can remember, at least since I was like 11-12. I always thought I would grow out of it with age but lately I've had to admit that the problem is not going anywhere. I guess every guy is a bit nervous when asking a girl out, but I think I'm a bit more nervous. I mean, I get nervous even thinking about it and I can't see myself doing it. I also get pretty anxious about giving a presentation in class but at least I'm able to get through with it.

Is this social anxiety or is the situation too narrow to actually classify as social anxiety? I've missed out on dating completely and feel like shit because of it. I'm very self-conscious, I have low self-esteem and I seriously lack self-confidence. Sometimes I've felt so bad for so long that it would probably classify as depression.

I just wish I could get over this problem.

June 25th, 2014, 04:40 AM
You sound EXACTLY like me. It's tough, I know. I don't think it's any kind of disorder though.

I can offer some tips that have helped me!
Start off by getting some clothes that fit you well and that you feel good in. Ones that you're excited to wear. You'd be surprised how big of a difference it makes.
Then, pick up some kind of hobby. Anything that piques your interest. It'll get your mind off of the insecurities.
After that, just work on self betterment. It feels good. It can be anything, too. Learn a new skill, go for a run, try a new haircut. Anything works. You just NEED to feel good about yourself, and then the confidence will come. Good luck! :)

June 25th, 2014, 04:52 AM
Thanks, but I've already tried those. I have good clothes and I exercise regularly. Makes no difference, I may look good and be fit but I'm still anxious as fuck.

June 25th, 2014, 04:54 AM
Thanks, but I've already tried those. I have good clothes and I exercise regularly. Makes no difference, I may look good and be fit but I'm still anxious as fuck.

Then you haven't found what makes you feel good about yourself. Have you ever considered going somewhere where you'll never be seen again and just talking a girl up? I'm sure you'd do better than expected, and maybe that would help you break the shell.

June 25th, 2014, 04:57 AM
Haven't considered that and the idea of talking to a girl who is complete stranger kinda freaks me out even worse. I would probably seem weird if I just went and talked to a random girl like that, she would be freaked out. I can't even talk to the girls I see at school most every day.

I really appreciate your advice, but I just can't shake off the anxiety.

Angry Elf
June 26th, 2014, 12:17 AM
It's your confidence. It truly is. As a girl (an experienced one at that), I will tell you RIGHT now that this is where you're doing it wrong. You need to talk to them, but you are putting the fact that you like her above all else. You gotta calm it and FORGET it man. Forget the fact that you like her. Just talk to her like one of the guys. Find an opening to crack a joke on her and make her laugh (maybe if she drops books or something, "Did ya forget how to walk? *giggle* *pat her on the back, hand her the dropped item* "It'll get easier with practice, [Jane]!") You've got to be calm, approachable, and a FRIEND. Gotta get a laugh, a smile, something. Become a clown with the girls. Make a complete embarrassment of yourself for her laugh. And WHATEVER YOU DO, don't be the little whiney, self pity, *no girl wants me so please take pity on me and give this nice guy a chance* crap. Girls don't dig it. We don't want to hear it. We've all been treated like crap, and it's going to continue to happen until the right one comes along... REMEMBER THAT. There's ONE out there. I highly doubt these girls will be them; therefore, forget that you even like them. Eventually, you'll realize that this is hurting your confidence (because you fear rejection/failed interaction/not hitting it off). I hope it helps, but it's all about facing the issue. And it's not that it's social anxiety- it's just NEW to you. I felt the same way when I was a younger chick with guys I liked. You feel like it'll never happen, you feel like it's impossible, you feel like it's a huge dream... Don't worry. It'll happen for sure. She just hasn't passed by ya or she feels the same way you do and hasn't talked to you! JUST BE A FRIEND, MAKE FRIENDS :)