PDA

View Full Version : How I learned to handle depression forever


Mojofilter
June 20th, 2014, 06:01 AM
I'm not really a depressed person, at this point at least. But when I was a kid I was the happiest kid you could ever imagine. But around 10 or 11 I started to have a cynical outlook on life. Anyways, my first depression ever happened the summer between 6th and 7th grade. I was full of hormones since I started puberty really early. I was obsessing over the fact that I thought I had klinefelter syndrome which would make me infertile (I really wanted to have kids), and I was VERY confused about my sexuality. I got frustrated that women didn't turn me on, but crossdressers and guys did (sexually). I always thought I was straight and couldn't accept that I MIGHT be gay. I asked on yahoo answers and looked up how to not be gay, I was extremely anxious all the time, always sick to my stomach, the most awful feeling I ever felt in my life, and I almost died twice from overdosing on dissociateves, benadryl and xanax. That whole summer I felt like total shit, and didn't tell anyone, because I didn't want to go to a shrink. Eventually, some time in 7th grade I just grew an outer shell and nothing really bothered me anymore. At all. I snapped pretty much. And I started having a monotone voice and never really showing my emotions, but it's improved since then. I have to take antidepressants and stimulants, and benzos, just to get by nowadays but back then I didn't know about meds and didn't know I was schizoid, anhedonic, ADHD and bipolar. Hopefully this story will give some people hope.

Charleigh
July 31st, 2014, 11:48 PM
I'm sorry to be blunt but where is the hope in that story? You've told us about your suicide attempt and the outcome of it was a few diagnosis'.
You haven't shed any light on the situation?