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BornActor
May 21st, 2014, 02:56 PM
Hey all,

I'm just curious what you think of "getting over it." Do you think there's a time where you just "get over" all of the trauma? Or is it one of those things that haunt you forever? If there is a period for you, what does it feel like? How do you envision "getting over it"? If not, then how do you cope with distress?

My mom is a survivor of domestic violence (which I witnessed). I hadn't thought about it much, until I got triggered recently by a movie. Some days, I remember it in vivid detail and I get terrified and powerless. Other days, I cry myself to sleep because I feel guilty--for hating my dad, for not being able to drink with the other students, for being the only one in the family to not be harmed physically, for being preferred by him over my brother because my skin is slightly lighter, for being the favorite among both parents. And other times, it'll be a mild fear that envelopes me. I won't have a reason to be scared, but I'll just get chilled and feel anxious, like I need to be on guard for some danger. I thought I had gotten over it, but clearly I haven't. Reading some of the other people's abuse stories and that they still think about it each day makes me feel so much more validated. I feel like it's fine that I'm not over it, and that that's not necessarily the goal. It almost feels a little liberating to be able to experience what I'm experiencing now.

JamesSuperBoy
May 21st, 2014, 03:15 PM
I know its much said bit it will vary with different people and of course something may trigger -

Blood
May 21st, 2014, 03:47 PM
Hmm. I don't believe someone can ever truly "get over it". As time goes on, I think you just learn to deal with it better. The memories are always going to be there. It's up to you how much you let them affect your life, honestly. But as the poster above said, it's different for each individual. Some people have a harder time dealing with things than others do.

Abyssal Echo
May 21st, 2014, 03:50 PM
Both my mom and myself have suffered thru a lot of abuse by both my Father and Stepfather. I have also been abused by a number of older boys. will I forget or get over it ? I seriously doubt it but, I try not to let it run my life.

Living For Love
May 21st, 2014, 04:05 PM
First of all, I'm sorry for what happened to you. There are some episodes of my life that I still remember quite clearly, and of course I wish I wouldn't. Sometimes because I see something that triggers it, other times because I suddenly remember it for no reason at all. It's not easy to process all that, but as you grow, you'll notice that, even though you remember those memories, they won't affect you like they did before. You won't forget them, that's right, but you'll grow strong, you'll learn to defend yourself from them.

Andriod09
May 22nd, 2014, 08:14 AM
There is nothing to say about it, except it rarely happens. Most people who can "get over it" just bury it deep into their emotions and their soul, locking it away, hiding it from their mind, and the minds of others. That's not "getting over it," its hiding it. Its keeping it out of site, so its out of mind.

No one, on this Earth, has the strength to "get over" something, which saddens me greatly.

Chrisscotland
May 24th, 2014, 05:57 AM
you never get over it

CosmicNoodle
May 24th, 2014, 06:15 AM
Myself I don't think its quite possible to simply "Get over" a traumatic even, I still find it hard to deal with evens that happened over a decade ago. But I do believe its possible to learn to copenwoth them, to just accept that that's what happened and to live with it. But for all I know it may be possible to get over it, perhaps it just takes longer than I think it will.
Traumatic events change you as a person, the person you where before and the one you are after are very different people. But the good thing is, that a lot of the time you can come out of an even stronger thamnyou went into it. You may never get over it, but it makes you a stronger person.
Keep trudging soldger ;)

Dalcourt
May 27th, 2014, 11:03 AM
I don't think you can really "get over it"... you can try to forget a out it and push it aside, but I guess it will always be there somehow. There will always be something that may trigger bad memories...I speak from personal experience here...even if you think you have gotten over it, it is just lying to yoursel, so unfortunately I think deep down it will always be there.

Shabbychic
May 27th, 2014, 07:03 PM
youll never get over it completely. i get told this everyday and have been trying for atleast 6 years. even today i got told it. just move on and get over it they said. All you can do is learn how to deal with it better :) and remember that whenever your feeling low, or on your own, that there is always going to be someone who can relate to you and help you if you ask for it. im always here if you need help :D just message me

Katiya
May 28th, 2014, 02:19 AM
You never really get over it but you do move on. Once you are on to bigger and better things you don't think about it as much anymore and it becomes less important.

thatgothgirluknow
May 31st, 2014, 01:08 PM
you never get over it u just learn to cope with it and not let it bother u as much but the memories will never go away u just have to be stronger than they are