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Human
April 7th, 2014, 04:18 PM
I've got bpd and i feel so empty all the time. only a couple of years ago i'd feel relatively normal but over the past year I've just gotten worse. I thought having a girlfriend would help but it only aggravates my symptoms a lot of the time. Every little thing that happens sets me off, I get angry or sad and happiness only comes in short bursts when I'm with my friends. I really don't know what to do because I just feel so depressed and anxious all the time.
I don't feel ready to tell anyone at the moment either, my family aren't the type to take things like this seriously although they are very loving, I don't self harm with a blade, so to them how I feel would just seem like a normal teenager.
I've let my girlfriend know a bit, but no one has any idea of the extent. I don't like the idea of taking medicine either, so far all I've been doing is trying to stay positive and exercising and eating healthy but obviously it can only help so much with a personality disorder.

I guess I just needed to vent really because I'm going through a hard time right now and I'm praying that I'm not stuck with bpd for life, maybe this is just a phase and I'll pass it one day.

DiamondsGirl
April 8th, 2014, 08:10 AM
I'm sorry you have to go through this :( I don't know what BPD is, but I think what's making it worse is the fact that you have no one to talk to. Is there any reason why you can't speak to your girlfriend? Do you have a counselor/psychiatrist that you visit regularly? Who knows maybe they can do this "just sit down and talk" kind of therapy instead of giving you meds?

Human
April 8th, 2014, 05:59 PM
I'm sorry you have to go through this :( I don't know what BPD is, but I think what's making it worse is the fact that you have no one to talk to. Is there any reason why you can't speak to your girlfriend? Do you have a counselor/psychiatrist that you visit regularly? Who knows maybe they can do this "just sit down and talk" kind of therapy instead of giving you meds?
Borderline personality disorder :)
I don't have the confidence really. We've been together 3 months. I'm certain I'll tell her once we're further in the relationship though, if she can put up with me.
I don't have a psychiatrist or counselor, I guess I'm scared of the stigma of people knowing you have a disorder.

Karkat
April 8th, 2014, 06:06 PM
Well, if it helps, I'm bipolar, and everyone has seemed to take it fairly well so far. However, I tend to be very...Aggressively defensive about myself. If you have something bad to say to me, here's a knuckle sandwich!


...Heh.

Anyways, good luck. I hope things work out with your relationship- sometimes it's hard to be with someone who doesn't quite understand you, and conversely, for her, sometimes it's hard to be with someone you don't understand.

DiamondsGirl
April 9th, 2014, 12:28 AM
Borderline personality disorder :)
I don't have the confidence really. We've been together 3 months. I'm certain I'll tell her once we're further in the relationship though, if she can put up with me.
I don't have a psychiatrist or counselor, I guess I'm scared of the stigma of people knowing you have a disorder.

I don't know your girlfriend, but as a girl I can tell you that when our boyfriends are looking unhappy, there is nothing more stressful than not knowing how to help. I'm sure you've known your girlfriend long before you started going out so why not at least tell her what BPD is? :) You don't have to tell her every little detail but at least let her know what you're going through.

I strongly recommend talking to a school counselor or a psychiatrist btw. Your well-being is a whole lot more important than what people has to say about you. If you go to a psychiatrist and build your confidence through therapies, I'm sure you'd be more than happy to give anyone who dares to comment on your disorder "a knuckle sandwich" too. ((referring to Janet Weiss' post))

Human
April 10th, 2014, 12:14 PM
Thanks guys. Unfortunately in the UK we don't really have counselors, at least in my school :l

ImCoolBeans
April 10th, 2014, 12:56 PM
I've had anxiety for most of my teenage years, and for a lot of them I've also been depressed. Feeling lonely and empty is a horrible feeling, I'm sorry you feel that way, Connor. If you aren't keen on the idea of taking meds, why not see a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist? A psychologist won't and can't prescribe you anything -- it's talk-therapy. They won't make you do or talk about anything you don't want to, if you say "no" they will respect it.

Have you been diagnosed with BPD by a doctor?

Human
April 10th, 2014, 05:23 PM
I've had anxiety for most of my teenage years, and for a lot of them I've also been depressed. Feeling lonely and empty is a horrible feeling, I'm sorry you feel that way, Connor. If you aren't keen on the idea of taking meds, why not see a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist? A psychologist won't and can't prescribe you anything -- it's talk-therapy. They won't make you do or talk about anything you don't want to, if you say "no" they will respect it.

Have you been diagnosed with BPD by a doctor?

No I haven't been diagnosed but I'm 100% sure I have BPD because the symptoms really match the way I've been feeling for the past couple of years.
Everything has been different recently and I think a lot of it is triggered by being in a relationship too

SawyerSauce
April 23rd, 2014, 08:10 PM
Have you ever heard about Dialectic Behavioral Therapy? It is a therapy that was specifically designed for people with BPD. I have never done it, but it teaches mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. It's not "talk therapy". It is behavioral therapy but also addresses the out-of-place thoughts and emotions you have because of BPD.