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Danielle15
October 5th, 2017, 07:08 PM
For those of us who identify with a specific religion (like mine....I'm Catholic), and who regularly attend services, do you ever have problems reconciling your sexual activities with your church's teachings? Do you fever feel guilty about it? Do you feel that certain acts are okay (masturbating, oral, even anal), but others are not (vaginal)?

sazzzo
October 6th, 2017, 03:36 AM
I go to church most weeks and sing in the choir. I've never done any of the things you mention except for masturbating but I don't think that any of it is a problem with the church in the UK . But there are some people who seem to think you shouldn't do any of those things before you get married but I'm not going to let it stop me when the time comes.

ChloeF
October 6th, 2017, 05:20 AM
l'm Catholic and have had a Catholic education but l'm not a regular church goer by any means.
As far as reconciling differences between my sexual activities and what the church teaches, l don't have a problem and while my behaviour may be regarded as sinful, l don't see that l'm harming anyone.
If God has any concerns, we'll discuss them when l get to meet him.

Taryn98
October 6th, 2017, 10:38 AM
I'm Catholic as well but don't have any dilemmas about the crazy sexual things I do. God is forgiving and like Chloe said, God and I can discuss it later if he wants.

MissMolly
October 6th, 2017, 03:56 PM
I am also Catholic, and go to church every Sunday. I feel a little guilty about sex, but obviously not toooooo guilty. What was it Saint Augustine said? "Lord, give me chastity, but not yet"?

I feel like I am a good person in general. I don't lie, cheat, steal, or hurt people. I give time and money to charity. That should be enough.


If God has any concerns, we'll discuss them when l get to meet him.

I love this answer. :D

posts merged. ~Endeavour

Anniebanannie
October 6th, 2017, 05:24 PM
Hi Danielle. Good question. I'm a Christian and go to church every week. I don't do any of the things you mentioned. I try not to masturbate and I usually succeed. When I fail I do feel guilty -- but I also know how hard it is to not masturbate.

So for the most part I don't need to reconcile myself with my church.

Danielle, how about you?

LITTLEANGEL16
October 8th, 2017, 02:23 PM
As a catholic I have NO issue with masturbating and being gay and being a naturist, we also attend mass every Sunday etc etc.

Claire Asteroid
October 8th, 2017, 02:43 PM
I go to church and I think masturbation is all right but I will wait until I'm married before I have sex.

sara___
October 9th, 2017, 05:15 PM
I'm Catholic as well but don't have any dilemmas about the crazy sexual things I do. God is forgiving and like Chloe said, God and I can discuss it later if he wants.
Perfectly said.

ThaLG
October 9th, 2017, 07:42 PM
I'm a devout protestant and I attend church services weekly, go to a christian school, etc. etc.

Sexual immorality is a tricky subject when it comes to Christianity for a lot of people including me. Now I actually don't masturbate but while masturbation is not technically a sin, it is absolutely acting on lustful thoughts which is a big no-no throughout the bible.

As far as premarital sex goes, it gets really fuzzy, but the New Testament never refers directly to it, simply using the term "sexual immorality" as a more broad concept. At least the way I understand it, sexual immorality is going against God's will because of selfish, lustful desires. Sex is fine if it's for the purpose of reproduction, or perhaps more importantly more meaningful bond between two people highlighted by physical intimacy. It's up for debate but I don't view premarital sex as a sin in it of itself, it's just very common for it to be driven by lust as opposed to love.

Sublime Demonz
October 10th, 2017, 07:42 PM
I was raised Christian and well, since I never really accepted having the religion forced upon me, I don't really care much about what my church has to say about what I do with my life. Being gay has definitely given me the outlook of "Well, I'm already going to hell for loving girls so why the hell not just do what I want?". In the end, I'm going to do what makes me happy and if the church wants to frown upon it, fine.

Trish_Lynn
October 11th, 2017, 12:32 AM
l'm Catholic and have had a Catholic education but l'm not a regular church goer by any means.
As far as reconciling differences between my sexual activities and what the church teaches, l don't have a problem and while my behaviour may be regarded as sinful, l don't see that l'm harming anyone.
If God has any concerns, we'll discuss them when l get to meet him.

I couldn't agree more!

Uniquemind
October 19th, 2017, 04:39 AM
I did for a while.

But I then came to the realization that almost the entire Christian/catholic (and other religious and conservative moral platforms, tend to over emphasize the guilt one should feel over sexual types of sins, versus other kinds of sins.

I chalk it up to the fact that talking about sexual sins, is more titillating to conservative news outlets and magazines, and that on some sick twisted sinful level they enjoyed it.

Hence the Catholic Priest sexual scandals is another example institutionalized hypocrisy, that has no scriptural basis at all.

Pastors and fathers need to earn my trust that they have any authority to represent God's word at all, and I am highly skeptical of any interpretation of the bible from a religious figure's mouth until I've discerned they understand the scriptures without a single contradiction.

This requires a pastor or father that speaks the ancient languages of both Greek and Hebrew, so that they can fill in the gaps of understanding that were lost in translation when turned into modern English, and then fractured again upon the different modern bibles of today (King James Version, ESV, NIV etc...)

As of yet I have found no such pastor or catholic father that I can trust isn't truly a blind Shepard.
---

One of the common errors immediately is that the OT strictly defines two sexual sins:

Fornication and Adultery, and the terms are not wishy-washy. They are distinctly separate from the other, but many pastors overlook this.

Masturbation does not fall under either definition, so scripturally it is not sin, and should not be under the broad term "porneia", which was the basis for the term in NIV for "sexual immorality".


The problem most pastors teach the modern English term "sexual immorality" in the broad sense, and I believe specific clarity is lost here.

And when specific clarity about scripture is lost, it allows Satan to interweave confusion into those passes in scripture...therefore the modern bible is defiled.






The original bible is uncorrupted but requires a scholar's mind to find....someone who is seeking God with all their heart.



However to end this simply, the Christian perspective does seem to cement the view that fornication is when two unmarried people of the opposite sex, have sexual intercourse before marriage.


Adultery is where one has sex with someone who is married. There is more to adultery as well that I don't quite yet understand but I will update this post when I have sussed it out.


Oral and anal would also have fallen under the prostitution definitions of "porneia" and therefore would have to have been considered sin.


For myself I am currently researching if a scriptural position exists condemning pedophilia, and the treatment of women as chattel property.

Sadly I have not found much representation of a girl's or women's concept of consent to marriage and/or sex with their male partners, nor on abortion in the specific instance to save the mother's life.


So I wouldn't guilt yourself too much...as I myself am questioning the Bible as a basis from which we should be judging morality and sexual ethics.


But wherever you stand, know that the bible also said not a single person does Good. That we are all in need for forgiveness.

You were damned to hell before you had sexual sins committed, and your still damned after no more or less so.

If that line of scripture is to be believed then the next step is to simply acknowledge your sins, confess them, then do the pragmatic thing get all the doctor checkup's to verify sexual health and cleanliness, and just live in truth....you're a sinner. Get comfortable with your badness by making peace with it, and then move onward in life.

I've found that Catholics emphasize guilt too much...I think that's a mistake.

angelina
October 25th, 2017, 10:47 AM
Me too a Christian and go to church every week. I do masturbation in home but i pretty know that it is not a sin..it is physical urge , which is normal with all humans.

Danielle15
October 27th, 2017, 11:33 AM
Very interesting responses! For me, I might get a flash of guilt in the moment but it's just that..... a flash. I don't stop to consider that by biblical standards I'm going to fornicate, or that by church teachings I might be committing sodomy. It's when I go to church on Sundays that the guilt sorta manifests. Especially if I take communion. I just tell myself that, like everyone else, I'm a sinner, and that God forgives me. To me, having sexual impulses is a natural part of being human, so I can't see how God would not forgive me for acting on those human impulses. Where I'm sometimes challenged is the concept that, to be forgiven (according to the church), you must resolve not to do those things again. But I know I will and I know I want to. That's where I really struggle with reconciling what I do sexually with the teachings of my religion.

JuliaVT
October 27th, 2017, 03:00 PM
I am new here so I hope this doesn't take things off subject. The problem for me isn't so much my religious beliefs as it is my parents. They are SUPER religious and follow strict interpretations of the Bible. So I'm surrounded by it and the subject of morality all the time. There are sooooo overprotective. This makes going thru puberty really difficult, since my body has changed and I naturally think about sex a lot. I have a bf but it's really difficult to get privacy without raising suspicions. Personally, I'm ready to experiment some and feel that it's quite normal, even in God's eyes. So it's not my religious beliefs that concern me, but more like my parents.

Uniquemind
October 28th, 2017, 03:33 PM
Very interesting responses! For me, I might get a flash of guilt in the moment but it's just that..... a flash. I don't stop to consider that by biblical standards I'm going to fornicate, or that by church teachings I might be committing sodomy. It's when I go to church on Sundays that the guilt sorta manifests. Especially if I take communion. I just tell myself that, like everyone else, I'm a sinner, and that God forgives me. To me, having sexual impulses is a natural part of being human, so I can't see how God would not forgive me for acting on those human impulses. Where I'm sometimes challenged is the concept that, to be forgiven (according to the church), you must resolve not to do those things again. But I know I will and I know I want to. That's where I really struggle with reconciling what I do sexually with the teachings of my religion.

I am new here so I hope this doesn't take things off subject. The problem for me isn't so much my religious beliefs as it is my parents. They are SUPER religious and follow strict interpretations of the Bible. So I'm surrounded by it and the subject of morality all the time. There are sooooo overprotective. This makes going thru puberty really difficult, since my body has changed and I naturally think about sex a lot. I have a bf but it's really difficult to get privacy without raising suspicions. Personally, I'm ready to experiment some and feel that it's quite normal, even in God's eyes. So it's not my religious beliefs that concern me, but more like my parents.

Well it's interesting that these conflicts arise in the modern era, whereas centuries ago, you married in the 12-18 year age range; approx the same time puberty occurs.

In fact historically puberty began in later teen years for more people than it does now.

Scientists believe puberty happens at 8-15 year range more often nowadays due to the surplus of modern food production and caloric availability, whereas in the past that wasn't always a given.

It's important for this discussion because sexual temptations and curiousness and emotions result from that physical stage of puberty or if they were present intensify exponentially.

This results in modern day teens having a longer time to live in sin in response to urges because mankind's law forbids marriage til 18 in most cases. So you are left with a scenario unlike in the olden days where you just got married off with father's blessing. Again this means you aren't living I sin, but the olden days the negative trade off was unequal rights for women compared to now in 1st world.

Anniebanannie
October 28th, 2017, 03:35 PM
Very interesting responses! For me, I might get a flash of guilt in the moment but it's just that..... a flash. I don't stop to consider that by biblical standards I'm going to fornicate, or that by church teachings I might be committing sodomy. It's when I go to church on Sundays that the guilt sorta manifests. Especially if I take communion. I just tell myself that, like everyone else, I'm a sinner, and that God forgives me. To me, having sexual impulses is a natural part of being human, so I can't see how God would not forgive me for acting on those human impulses. Where I'm sometimes challenged is the concept that, to be forgiven (according to the church), you must resolve not to do those things again. But I know I will and I know I want to. That's where I really struggle with reconciling what I do sexually with the teachings of my religion.

I am new here so I hope this doesn't take things off subject. The problem for me isn't so much my religious beliefs as it is my parents. They are SUPER religious and follow strict interpretations of the Bible. So I'm surrounded by it and the subject of morality all the time. There are sooooo overprotective. This makes going thru puberty really difficult, since my body has changed and I naturally think about sex a lot. I have a bf but it's really difficult to get privacy without raising suspicions. Personally, I'm ready to experiment some and feel that it's quite normal, even in God's eyes. So it's not my religious beliefs that concern me, but more like my parents.


I have friends from church who are only going now because their parents expect them to. The teachings, the sermons, the expectations etc. don't fit them anymore. Sometimes I wish their parents would just let them find their own way -- even if it leads them away from or back to the church.

Uniquemind
October 28th, 2017, 03:40 PM
I have friends from church who are only going now because their parents expect them to. The teachings, the sermons, the expectations etc. don't fit them anymore. Sometimes I wish their parents would just let them find their own way -- even if it leads them away from or back to the church.

That's how I think God intends it, each person has to decide for themselves.

But somehow there's a human parental bias, where parents of a religious nature enter into the equation and try to forcefully away their children into a faith.

I don't believe the latter part is biblical, and I think it creates a buildup of guilt and urges and temptations, that once the person is grown up and no longer under parental influence, they don't know how to healthily cope with urges that life unendlessly tempts you with...you just end up being crazy wild because of the emotional suppression.


For some reason, people think Christian-catholic scripture advocates sinful emotional suppression. I think this is a mistake in interpretation.

Anniebanannie
October 28th, 2017, 05:04 PM
That's how I think God intends it,

I don't think I'm ready to say how God intends anything, except for me.

Uniquemind
October 28th, 2017, 06:06 PM
I don't think I'm ready to say how God intends anything, except for me.

Well I don't think I'm saying anything new that scripture doesn't say anyway. Each person is judged by their own book. (Their own actions/works). It says it in Revelations and in other NT books as well.

Parents cannot make their children obedient to God, it's that persons choice in the end. But society (esp. Religious parents or guardians) really don't accept that.

They go beyond, here's the bible this is what the faith teaches, and they start getting controlling, and start sheltering their children, at the danger of keeping them naive on how to deal with the real world. (What does the boggieman look like, what's sex, where do babies come from etc.)

So you see how it starts off well, but then false doctrines get applied to such households?

JuliaVT
October 29th, 2017, 01:44 PM
Totally agree that the earlier onset of puberty and later marriages in modern society has made it much more difficult for us to adhere to religious standards set by parents or churches.

Also, when parents impose these beliefs, I find it takes away a part of my privacy, like everything has to occur in secrecy. The worst part is that my parents aren't a resource. I can't ask them questions, share any of my emotions, or feel that they support me and understand what I'm feeling. They're just there to be judgmental. It also limits access to birth control, because of course, I'm not supposed to even be thinking about sex. Personally, I know I could use condoms, but that's about it. And right now an 85% effective rate doesn't make me comfortable. Like, if I have sex only 7 times, the probability is that I'd get pregnant one of those times??? No way! It forces teen like me in a more rural setting to either take the risk, totally ignore sexual feelings (not happening) or find some other form of sexual satisfaction like masturbation (solo or mutual) or oral or the appropriately named Christian position. It's like trying to reconcile your feelings and behavior with your own religious beliefs AND those of your parents as well. For me and some of my friends (including my bf) that's really hard.

Uniquemind
October 29th, 2017, 02:50 PM
Totally agree that the earlier onset of puberty and later marriages in modern society has made it much more difficult for us to adhere to religious standards set by parents or churches.

Also, when parents impose these beliefs, I find it takes away a part of my privacy, like everything has to occur in secrecy. The worst part is that my parents aren't a resource. I can't ask them questions, share any of my emotions, or feel that they support me and understand what I'm feeling. They're just there to be judgmental. It also limits access to birth control, because of course, I'm not supposed to even be thinking about sex. Personally, I know I could use condoms, but that's about it. And right now an 85% effective rate doesn't make me comfortable. Like, if I have sex only 7 times, the probability is that I'd get pregnant one of those times??? No way! It forces teen like me in a more rural setting to either take the risk, totally ignore sexual feelings (not happening) or find some other form of sexual satisfaction like masturbation (solo or mutual) or oral or the appropriately named Christian position. It's like trying to reconcile your feelings and behavior with your own religious beliefs AND those of your parents as well. For me and some of my friends (including my bf) that's really hard.


You understand what I'm saying.

And you see how I've also used scripture to dispel some of the common misconceptions of what the faith considers bad.

The line: "thinking about sex = sin"

That's a false doctrine it's not supported by scripture at all, acting upon it sure, but just the thought of it...no. But most of the populace doesn't challenge it, and believes it, and gets caught in the angst and guilt because they want to please their parents or God.


I've always thought the faith was simply asking us to look at our flaws, acknowledge them, not suppress or bury them. But in all things move onward with life knowing what you need to ask forgiveness for.

I think another part of this issue is what does it mean to "repent" and follow Christ.

There are two competing views, that seem to contradict, the first is Jesus forgives and you sin no more.

The other is I sin, I ask for forgiveness, I sin again rinse repeat....


It was around the 1950's & 60's I believe televangelism blurred the meaning of what it means to accept Christ.

It helped people hear about Him and accept him, but not in terms of motivating actual behavior change.


The concepts clashing are:

1). What it means to be eternally saved? How do you know you are?

2). Backsliding Christians; is that phenomenon possible. Is the doctrine of eternal security soundly scripturally supported?




It's interesting to contrast what many viewed repentance as in the 1800's where deliverance from a sinful life in forgiveness was thought to be a much slower process.

Back then, the view was highly critical of the "fruits" of once's labour, being good or bad, to be an indicator (so not a method of salvation) to test if one truly had been saved by "Faith alone". Because if the Holy Spirit is in you, then no action from you should be sinful anymore, because from a spiritual point of you, you become an extension of God, as Christ is to the Father, through Christ.

The old way argues that what modern day Christians call "falling away" indicates that individual was never saved and never knew God to begin with.