View Full Version : How to tell her and approach her?

September 28th, 2017, 12:11 PM
This will be long , please bear with me.

TLDR : I have a crush on her. She 90% has a crush on me. Sometimes ignores me and takes too long to reply to my texts , but keeps staring at me and smiling . Didn't talk to her in real life and want to appear natural in front of others , how do I open up? Both of us are introverted.

So this is about a girl who is in the same university as me.

I kind of have a crush on her because she is very different from other girls and looks very mature to me.
Funny thing is , she has a crush on me since 6 months and we just started texting last month and kind of know each other but the sad part is we HARDLY talk in real life and both of us are kind of introverted so it's very hard to get out of our shells and approach each other in front of everyone else.

So crazy stuff : Call it by chance , but no matter where I go , I keep bumping into her in between my classes and it's really awkward for me because I Ignore her ( I'm so shy and she keeps on smiling and looking at me like an idiot ).
I don't want to ignore her but I just don't know what to tell her and the fact she doesn't know I like her.

Next , I kinda asked her for dinner together and she said she was busy.
Later again ( 1 week after ) she calls me for dinner but unfortunately my cell is off so I realized that later.

I thought she is kind of into me when she wished me on my birthday and said I'm very sweet and she wants to talk to me and know me better .

I try , but I just can't approach her , it's kind of hard for me in general , partly fueled by the fact because when she smiles the same way and talks to other guys , it makes me feels jealous as if she's gonna cheat on me or something ( I've experienced this before badly ).

This is where the things change , we get selected for the job (intern) through our university so we'll be colleagues soon and she sent me an anonymous letter saying she wants me to talk to her in real life and plans that we both will have a lot of fun.

So I asked her for dinner (in the college mess ) together and she changed the topic to a walk ( which I thought was trying to get close to me ) so I agreed.
We spent 3 hours talking to each other alone sitting on a bench. General conversation , got to know her and felt more like a date . She felt cold in between so I gave her my jacket , we talked and it felt like bliss. Don't know but those 3 hours felt like heaven , we connected so well and seemed to me she is the one for me and should start talking to her more often.
But I think I spoke too much about me and kinda teased her and she might have gotten offended although this doesn't seem like the case.

Next day , I call her for a walk after dinner she seemed excited at the start , but once we go she says she has to leave early for some work so we could only spend 1 hour , although it seemed good but she'd constantly on her phone and texting and like checking her phone every minute when we'd be talking and that pissed me off a lot. As if she's hiding something , etc.

I already know that her friends know about me and smile when they see me because she probably told them about me.
Anyway , don't know who's she talking to , but I get the feeling that she's playing with me and didn't seem much interested that time.

So she leaves early.
And the next day she makes the same excuse for some work and doesn't come at all.

I think the major misunderstanding is she's been waiting too long coz we never talked irl and we know each other since 6 months and we both like each other but I just kinda ignore her when I see her because I get negative thoughts about she ignoring me and the fact she never makes any effort to talk to me but tries to be near me and makes alot of eye contact as if she wants me to initiate conversations. ( She takes too long to reply to my texts everytime unless we're talking about something important to her ,totally spoils my mood. )

But she is a really nice person and finds me one too and I really want to know her better.
So what do I do?
Tell her I like her? or hint her to ask if she likes me? because I want to get rid of this awkwardness and talk to her like naturally.

I'm sorry If I spoke a lot , but I needed to share this , thanks for helping in advance.

TBH , I don't want her to give up on me because for some reason I'm really scared to lose her , and I think this feeling is definitely mutual but not sure how to convey this to her.
Also another reason why I'm scared to tell her that I like her is because she'd sometimes overlook/ignore my texts whenever I complemented her and reply back with a casual thanks so I'm scared of rejection.
But for a girl to keep staring and blushing at me , telling me in text that she wants to know me better and then writing me a letter , I think I'm thinking like an idiot to just understand she likes me.

UPDATE : So I just confessed to her that I kind of like her and that she is very sweet and this backfired . She took it as if I'm asking to be her boyfriend and responded as she's really sorry for she doesn't know what to say and we both really don't know each other very much. I'm okay with that but she's now treating me as if I'm butthurt of her rejection? Think she's too demanding and giving wrong signals when she doesn't even wanna commit , any comments on this?

September 28th, 2017, 04:14 PM
There is only one way in my mind; Approach her. Talk more to her. Tell her about your feelings. Be honest with her. Ask her. Be you and not be afraid to face the truth.

September 29th, 2017, 02:18 PM
Well tell her that you just want to spend more time together and maybe go on dates to places. You can tell her it can be casual if she wants that. You just like her very much and enjoy spending time together with her. Just be kind and easy going about this. See how she reacts to you. There isn't much else to say. Just approach her and see how things go.