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Sevun
September 26th, 2017, 08:56 AM
Okay, so for the past few years, I've been labelled as "gay" and been thought to be gay from first impressions due to my voice. I love speaking, I'm very chatty, and I actually thrive in public speaking. Problem? My voice.

In recordings, when I listen back, it sounds so unlike me (yes, I know it's supposed to sound different in your head because the way your body is structured etc.), considering I am straight.

I also have all these feminine gestures, and I'd just like to find a way to stop myself from speaking in that stereotypical "gay" manner. It's incredibly frustrating, because people think I'm something I am not, and I just don't want them to get the wrong impression.

Please help!

Vegas2933
September 26th, 2017, 11:42 AM
If you're not gay, ignore them. You embrace the fact that you thrive in public speaking and just pretend they don't exist. Your voice will drop eventually if it hasn't already.

jamie_n5
September 26th, 2017, 01:11 PM
You should ignore the stupid people. There many feminine men and they are straight as an arrow. There are also pro football type macho men that are gay. So you see it can go both ways. Just be proud of who you are and go on speaking and gesturing what comes natural to you. The hell with those jerks that love to mouth off and put down others.

ska8er
September 26th, 2017, 03:27 PM
U cant change the way u speak or gesture
or walk no matter how u try. If that is natural
for u-u have to live with it. If anyone questions
it-it is none of their business and u don't have
to answer them.

noah.whynot
September 26th, 2017, 05:49 PM
The way you speak and your gestures are just the way you are. Ignorant people will assume that this somehow automatically means you must be gay. Do your best to ignore them and don't feel like you have to explain yourself to them.

Hermes
September 26th, 2017, 07:37 PM
As I have said in other posts I think it is fine to be yourself and not feel obliged to make cosmetic changes because of others.

You also need to be realistic because there are some aspects of your voice that you cannot change because they are related to dimensions in your head and throat. On the other hand you may have more control than you think. Think how people in different parts of the country of even in different parts of the world have different accents, i.e. they make different sounds with their voices because they have grown up copying different sounds from those around them, not because of anatomical differences. While you normally learn your accent when you first learn to speak it is not set in stone and can adapt. Accent are mostly about slighly different vowel sound and some sound more high pitched than others - for example in the UK the Newcastle accent sounds higher pitched to my ears than the accent near where I live. Also people sing which involves changing the basic pitch of the sound they are making (the fundamental) and you can vary the pitch in speech too. In fact we often do it without realising it, using a higher pitch when talking to someone we see as being in authority over us and using a deeper pitch when we want to assert authority. If you have a dog you probably use that "authoritative voice" when giving commands to the dog to show him you're the boss.

So, experiment. Don't do anything that seems like a strain, though or continue doing anything which makes you hoarse.

Some people have been coached to improve their public speaking voices and actors will often receive training in this regard including breathing from the diaphragm and developing resonance - something with overlaps quite a lot with some singing training.

Finally, if your voice has not fully finished changing then do allow time for that.

presh jasper
September 26th, 2017, 11:42 PM
Technically it's embrassing , i know what it feels like, u know what i do i speak up, tell them its not ur fault ok?.

Sevun
September 27th, 2017, 12:56 AM
If you're not gay, ignore them. You embrace the fact that you thrive in public speaking and just pretend they don't exist. Your voice will drop eventually if it hasn't already.

As I have said in other posts I think it is fine to be yourself and not feel obliged to make cosmetic changes because of others.

You also need to be realistic because there are some aspects of your voice that you cannot change because they are related to dimensions in your head and throat. On the other hand you may have more control than you think. Think how people in different parts of the country of even in different parts of the world have different accents, i.e. they make different sounds with their voices because they have grown up copying different sounds from those around them, not because of anatomical differences. While you normally learn your accent when you first learn to speak it is not set in stone and can adapt. Accent are mostly about slighly different vowel sound and some sound more high pitched than others - for example in the UK the Newcastle accent sounds higher pitched to my ears than the accent near where I live. Also people sing which involves changing the basic pitch of the sound they are making (the fundamental) and you can vary the pitch in speech too. In fact we often do it without realising it, using a higher pitch when talking to someone we see as being in authority over us and using a deeper pitch when we want to assert authority. If you have a dog you probably use that "authoritative voice" when giving commands to the dog to show him you're the boss.

So, experiment. Don't do anything that seems like a strain, though or continue doing anything which makes you hoarse.

Some people have been coached to improve their public speaking voices and actors will often receive training in this regard including breathing from the diaphragm and developing resonance - something with overlaps quite a lot with some singing training.

Finally, if your voice has not fully finished changing then do allow time for that.

Yeah, my voice has pretty much dropped I think, which sucks, because it can't change anymore :/ I actually can go pretty deep, I just don't naturally speak like that, and I can probably speak deeper if I wanted to... but I don't do that currently.

It's so frustrating, and I thought I got over it, but the worry has come back again. I mean, I guess I could just restrain myself a tiny bit.

Vegas2933
September 27th, 2017, 02:02 AM
As I said, ignore them. I'm sure thier voices aren't perfect either.

Sevun
September 27th, 2017, 06:32 AM
As I said, ignore them. I'm sure thier voices aren't perfect either.

Okay I get you, but I don't think I've made it clear enough that I hate my voice as well? It's incredibly annoying to me and I just wish it could be different :/

Hermes
September 27th, 2017, 09:19 AM
Okay I get you, but I don't think I've made it clear enough that I hate my voice as well? It's incredibly annoying to me and I just wish it could be different :/

I certainly thought you meant that you wanted to sound different for yourself and not just to appease others which is why I wrote what I did and didn't just stop at suggesting you become thicker skinned.

So if you want to change you have to decide to do so. If you listen to someone reading an commercially available audio book or dramatising a radio play you probably find it much more engaging than if you got someone in your class to read the same text. That's because the people who record these things have practiced so they have control over their voices, so they can use different volume and different tones to convey different emotions. This is all learned behaviour - we don't spring out of the womb talking but learn to do it and we also learn to be expressive when we read and speak.

Of course, it is hard to practice that when just having a conversation with a friend because you are thinking about what to say rather than how to say it but you mentioned public speaking - delivering a speech is the perfect time to do some of this and you can even practice before the actual speech and have an excuse for doing so. If you practice using more of your voice in a situation like that some of that is bound to rub off on your normal speech.

Vegas2933
September 27th, 2017, 09:55 AM
Okay I get you, but I don't think I've made it clear enough that I hate my voice as well? It's incredibly annoying to me and I just wish it could be different :/

Be proud of who you! That "weird" voice of yours makes you, you. :)

Sevun
September 28th, 2017, 01:32 AM
I certainly thought you meant that you wanted to sound different for yourself and not just to appease others which is why I wrote what I did and didn't just stop at suggesting you become thicker skinned.

So if you want to change you have to decide to do so. If you listen to someone reading an commercially available audio book or dramatising a radio play you probably find it much more engaging than if you got someone in your class to read the same text. That's because the people who record these things have practiced so they have control over their voices, so they can use different volume and different tones to convey different emotions. This is all learned behaviour - we don't spring out of the womb talking but learn to do it and we also learn to be expressive when we read and speak.

Of course, it is hard to practice that when just having a conversation with a friend because you are thinking about what to say rather than how to say it but you mentioned public speaking - delivering a speech is the perfect time to do some of this and you can even practice before the actual speech and have an excuse for doing so. If you practice using more of your voice in a situation like that some of that is bound to rub off on your normal speech.

Be proud of who you! That "weird" voice of yours makes you, you. :)

Okay, thanks for all your help guys! It has really helped me :)

NewLeafsFan
September 28th, 2017, 01:36 AM
Homosexuality is a sexual orientation. It isn't hand gestures or the sound of one's voice. Keep that in mind, be confident, and keep your head up. It sounds like you have many talents so try to focus on those.

martinpajero
September 28th, 2017, 10:11 PM
Homosexuality is a sexual orientation. It isn't hand gestures or the sound of one's voice. Keep that in mind, be confident, and keep your head up. It sounds like you have many talents so try to focus on those.

this basically, do whatever you're comfortable with and avoid paying too much attention to people who just want to piss you off