PDA

View Full Version : Idk what to do about this girl


andrew1999
September 17th, 2017, 11:29 AM
I'm real depressed right now and I'll give you the rundown if you actually want to know what's happened.

Basically about a month ago a girl who I was friends with started flirting with me when we were out with friends, but I didn't think anything of it. We started going out more and more with friends and we started getting closer to each other, like she invited me and my best friend over to her friends house and she essentially was sharing a bed with with me at one point. About 1/2 weeks ago we were out in a nightclub and we were drunk and we were taking loads of pictures and stuff and she was holding on to me really close and stuff. By this time I'd already developed feelings for her and she's had feelings for me for weeks longer than I have. Last Thursday I invited her to my house before we went out to a nightclub with friends and we ended up like holding hands and being really close and stuff. In the nightclub we were dancing and I kissed her, then when I was speaking to her afterwards she was saying she doesn't want a relationship because her last 3 boyfriends cheated on her, but I am looking for a relationship. Obviously I got really upset about this and I'm feeling really low since. I haven't really spoken to her since about it and considering we used to text all day I feel really upset and bad at the moment. It's so awkward between us and i don't know what to do

Bridlemaple1
September 17th, 2017, 11:41 AM
I'm going to make the presumption you guys were drunk when you kissed and you either had this conversation whilst still drunk or slightly later when sober. In either case this isn't even a full blown rejection you kissed her and you're sad when you honestly still have a chance. Keep talking to her, but start looking elsewhere if you're that set on finding a relationship there's no point getting down over a girl people come and go like the wind.

Just try not to get too caught up in trying to chase a girl, a relationship isn't something you can really force.

Also, if you're feeling depressed it can affect your ability to get and maintain a relationship. Depending on the severity it might help to talk to someone, it never hurts to do so :)

andrew1999
September 17th, 2017, 12:07 PM
I'm going to make the presumption you guys were drunk when you kissed and you either had this conversation whilst still drunk or slightly later when sober. In either case this isn't even a full blown rejection you kissed her and you're sad when you honestly still have a chance. Keep talking to her, but start looking elsewhere if you're that set on finding a relationship there's no point getting down over a girl people come and go like the wind.

Just try not to get too caught up in trying to chase a girl, a relationship isn't something you can really force.

Also, if you're feeling depressed it can affect your ability to get and maintain a relationship. Depending on the severity it might help to talk to someone, it never hurts to do so :)

Yes we were drunk when we kissed, we were still drunk when we talked about things after. She said she doesn't want a relationship because of what's happened in the past but she does like me. For the last like past week before we kissed we would make a full effort to talk to eachother and the convo would always flow but on Friday I tried to message her as normal and she took longer to reply and her replies weren't as good as usual. On the same Friday we went out with our group of friends and she was there and it was extremely awkward, we only spoke 2/3 times and 1 of those times she was asking for the make up back she left in my house. She is on holiday for a week so I won't be able to see her for a while, she hasn't made any effort to message me first and I've been trying to ask mutual friends how she is feeling and stuff but it is really complicated. Atm I don't even feel like we are really friends which is extremely upsetting. This is the first girl I've ever had a thing with and I feel so down rifjt now, my best friend who is also really good friends with the girl I like said he thinks I'm overreacting a bit but honestly I have no clue

Bridlemaple1
September 17th, 2017, 12:23 PM
Yes we were drunk when we kissed, we were still drunk when we talked about things after. She said she doesn't want a relationship because of what's happened in the past but she does like me. For the last like past week before we kissed we would make a full effort to talk to eachother and the convo would always flow but on Friday I tried to message her as normal and she took longer to reply and her replies weren't as good as usual. On the same Friday we went out with our group of friends and she was there and it was extremely awkward, we only spoke 2/3 times and 1 of those times she was asking for the make up back she left in my house. She is on holiday for a week so I won't be able to see her for a while, she hasn't made any effort to message me first and I've been trying to ask mutual friends how she is feeling and stuff but it is really complicated. Atm I don't even feel like we are really friends which is extremely upsetting. This is the first girl I've ever had a thing with and I feel so down rifjt now, my best friend who is also really good friends with the girl I like said he thinks I'm overreacting a bit but honestly I have no clue

By the sounds of it she may either need some time alone or is no longer interested. Honestly though these things take time you might not talk to her right now but you have on idea what could happen two or three months down the track.

I'd be friendly to her don't go out of your way to keep up something she won't put effort into. It could do more damage than good (if she finds out you've been asking heaps about her she might be a uneasy about it).

And as for overreacting. Yes you are your friend is right (in my opinion). However, it's to be expected. EVERYONE has their moments with dating (I've had plenty).

You'll look back on this in a couple of years and laugh, worst case use this as a learning curve to help you speak to someone else in the future.

andrew1999
September 17th, 2017, 12:50 PM
By the sounds of it she may either need some time alone or is no longer interested. Honestly though these things take time you might not talk to her right now but you have on idea what could happen two or three months down the track.

I'd be friendly to her don't go out of your way to keep up something she won't put effort into. It could do more damage than good (if she finds out you've been asking heaps about her she might be a uneasy about it).

And as for overreacting. Yes you are your friend is right (in my opinion). However, it's to be expected. EVERYONE has their moments with dating (I've had plenty).

You'll look back on this in a couple of years and laugh, worst case use this as a learning curve to help you speak to someone else in the future.

I still really like her and I think she still likes me, although we haven't been talking for a few days really. I have text her since but that was only to say have a good holiday and stuff. According to my friend she thinks it's really awkward too but having a week away might help things, and I want to talk to her when in person about it all when she comes back, when we both might have clearer heads. I just feel really upset and low