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View Full Version : IS my mom right about all of this?


SavannaVictoria
September 16th, 2017, 10:42 PM
So I have known this guy since before I started high school and he was in my Percussion section. We were really good friends and we're talking about being together for almost two year and then we finally got together May 2016. I lost my virginity to him in July. Then in October, his family kinda fell apart because of drugs and abuse and he was kicked out. He moved in with my family in January and lived with us until he went to college. I am 17 and he is 18. We didn't have another bedroom, so we shared a Queen size in my room. He is at college now and my mom says that I'm with damaged goods and that we aren't compatible. She said she is unsupportive of our relationship and when I graduate (we are a year apart), she is kicking me out and not looking back. She calls me a loser, slut, and a floozy and that I won't get far in life. I'm in honors and advanced classes in high school and have been accepted to Mary Hardin Baylor. She says that I broke her soul and she hates me for that. She has threatened to kick me out and kill me. I have friends that know about this and have my back but I'm starting to wonder, is she right about me? Did I really cause all of this stuff?

BlackParadePixie
September 16th, 2017, 11:44 PM
No, why would you think she is right? She's obviously trying to compensate for whatever shortcomings she has of her own. Your mom may not LIKE some of your decisions, that doesn't mean they are wrong for you.

Dalcourt
September 17th, 2017, 01:23 AM
Your boyfriend lived with you for some time. How did she feel about it there?
Seems kinda irrational to act like that now.

So I don't feel she is right with what she says now. Maybe you can talk to her why she feels like that?

Just JT
September 17th, 2017, 07:39 AM
See,s a bit contradictory to me. She let's your BF move in, and share a bed with you until he moves out then says that about you?

What did she expect to happen under your sheets all night?

But anyways, no I don't think she's right at all. Think she's wrong in every way. And I call that abuse. And if your friends got your back I'd check to see if they got a spare bed to. And use it. You deserve better than that, nobody deserves that kinda treatment anywhere let alone from a family member and in their own home

If you're that much of a disappointment to her then let her wallow in that bullshit on her own. Or at least till she can before more mature about it and talk to you civilly and shit

Uniquemind
September 17th, 2017, 02:59 PM
She's living too vicariously through you, the daughter, in my humble opinion. I would keep that line of dialogue to yourself though.

But I don't know what she gains by kicking you out of the house. I don't believe being thrust out in the real world is practical given the political climate with wage growth and job availability with those without BA degrees, in relation to the cost of rents in almost every major city.

Having sex doesn't make you a slut, I don't know why she keeps dropping that line especially for our generation statistically most girls are not virgins by 17 and definitely by 18.


My only area of concern is what proof might she have to come to a conclusion you and your boyfriend aren't compatible because while her other lines of logic are faulty, perhaps she sees friction between you and your boyfriend, that you might be blind too given a personal bias.

That is the only portion of constructive criticism worth a self-examination.


Other than that she's completely wrong.

jamie_n5
September 19th, 2017, 02:57 PM
I think your mom has some mental issues. To talk to you now like she has way after the fact is nuts. Why didn't she make some objection or raise hell with you two when he moved in? Next time she calls you damaged or a slut look her straight in the eyes and ask her if she was a virgin until marriage and she how she reacts. This was your only long time boyfriend and to me it is quite natural that you two had a sexual relationship. She needs psychological help in my opinion.

Hermes
September 20th, 2017, 10:59 AM
I do wonder if she had such a low opinion of him why she let him move in to start with.

You obviously have the means to do very well. I don't know this guy well enough to say whether he may be limiting to you but, even if he was, having a mature conversation about that would be better than silly threats. Also it is entirely possible she is tarring him with the same brush as the rest of his family.

I don't think your mum is being even remotely reasonable but at the same time it is sometimes hard to be objective about someone we love.

PinkFloyd
September 20th, 2017, 11:07 AM
Wait, so if she's unsupportive of the relationship, then why did she let him stay with you? Are the feelings she has new? You didn't cause any of this. I don't know your mother, but she sounds horrible. I understand it's not normal to want to fuck over a parent, but just know that if she threatens your life, you can go to the police and tell them your mother threatened your life. This is under US law, so I'm not sure of the laws in other countries if that's the case.

Chaosphere
September 22nd, 2017, 05:06 AM
So I have known this guy since before I started high school and he was in my Percussion section. We were really good friends and we're talking about being together for almost two year and then we finally got together May 2016. I lost my virginity to him in July. Then in October, his family kinda fell apart because of drugs and abuse and he was kicked out. He moved in with my family in January and lived with us until he went to college. I am 17 and he is 18. We didn't have another bedroom, so we shared a Queen size in my room. He is at college now and my mom says that I'm with damaged goods and that we aren't compatible. She said she is unsupportive of our relationship and when I graduate (we are a year apart), she is kicking me out and not looking back. She calls me a loser, slut, and a floozy and that I won't get far in life. I'm in honors and advanced classes in high school and have been accepted to Mary Hardin Baylor. She says that I broke her soul and she hates me for that. She has threatened to kick me out and kill me. I have friends that know about this and have my back but I'm starting to wonder, is she right about me? Did I really cause all of this stuff?
I'm technically mentally ill, and I hate using the phrase but she's psycho. It's the only succinct way to put it. Don't let her get you down, the fact that you've withstood all that and still have honors grades and energy is amazing, and don't let an overcompensating witch take any of that away from you. You should be proud. If your relationship with your partner betters you both and strengthens you as people, then your mother has no grounds to disapprove.

DoodleSnap
September 26th, 2017, 11:37 AM
Why the sudden change of attitude? Did something happen for her to suddenly become so critical of your relationship and your decisions?