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KingExplosionMurder
September 16th, 2017, 07:45 PM
Can someone help me figure out what is the reason for my existence if I don't have any friends, this world is cruel and awful, I'm not benefiting society in anyway, and i just feel like I'm a huge talkative nuisance to the friends i do have. I just feel cold and alone lately i just don't know who to really talk to. Finding someone who's really willing to talk with me or attempt to is super rare or impossible i should just give up on making friends and i should just face facts that I'm gonna die alone

Just JT
September 16th, 2017, 07:54 PM
Looks to me like this is a new feeling for you. Or at least based on other posts you've made.

Is there something that happened that makes you feel this way or has this been kinda building for a while now?

Think we all go through phases we feel really alone and down. Some more than others. And somethimes it's hard to see what brought us down.

Maybe your nshould talk to mom or dad or a counselor or something. Might be something easily identifiable.

You might learn something about yourself to

Sere
September 16th, 2017, 09:40 PM
Can someone help me figure out what is the reason for my existence if I don't have any friends, this world is cruel and awful, I'm not benefiting society in anyway, and i just feel like I'm a huge talkative nuisance to the friends i do have. I just feel cold and alone lately i just don't know who to really talk to. Finding someone who's really willing to talk with me or attempt to is super rare or impossible i should just give up on making friends and i should just face facts that I'm gonna die alone

I've felt the same for the past few months.
I have no good friends that I feel are people I can really trust (irl) and no one I know in real life could handle me talking about stuff.
Don't pursue the thought that you'll die alone. Pursue someone who you can trust, talk to and be with no matter how hard you have to try.

My "friends" are annoyed by me as I don't make good conversation since I can't talk about real things going through my head. If I was to say anything they would either make fun of me, back off or give me attention just for pity and wanting more pride
I've almost had multiple things happen when I start to freak out late at night
You're not alone in this feeling.
you and I can chat if you'd like, I'm always here
:hug:

PlasmaHam
September 16th, 2017, 10:13 PM
Proverbs 18:24
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Psalm 23
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Bad things happen to all of us. I think your problem is that you are looking for the meaning of life externally, in friends and society, but not where it truly is, within yourself. All of us has a purpose, but we all must uncover that purpose through ourselves, rather than others.

elmoc
September 18th, 2017, 02:30 PM
Wondering why we exist is a normal feeling as we endure the transition from child to adult: adolescence. IMO, I don't think the answer to your question is something we can resolve by thinking. I believe we get closer to an answer when we get out & do things for other people.

I have spent time with your question earlier in my life, & started feeling like I was caught up in a whirlpool of negative emotions that seemed impossible to escape. I have a large family of over-achievers, & I knew I couldn't compete with them.

A therapist suggested volunteer work. So, every Thursday night I read books to elderly people in a nursing home, & then I became an assistant coach for a kids T-ball team. After a few months, my therapist asked if I then knew why I existed. I quickly replied "I feel best when I am helping someone else."

This worked for me, but you may find that something completely different gives you a sense of purpose. Perhaps art, music, writing, sports, etc.

In my case, I found that I had to get out into the world in order to find my own purpose. I'm a science nerd-analytical type person, so I had to risk going outside of my comfort zone- it wasn't easy.

I hope you find your answers.

noah.whynot
September 23rd, 2017, 11:36 AM
I think we all go through periods where we feel this way. When I first went into foster care I started to feel the same; I thought things would get better because I didn't have to live with my mom but that didn't happen. I got moved around a lot, changed schools a lot and for a while I just stop bothered trying to make friends because I figured it didn't matter, I'd just be moving again soon anyway. I've never said this out loud to anyone but I even contemplated suicide at one point. But things have a way of changing. I'm now living with a really great foster family, have been here for a little over a year. I have an awesome younger foster brother (their son) and I just got the best news of all: that they'd like to adopt me! Just don't give up on others or yourself! Is there something that you love to do? Like Elmoc said, if you have something you like to do, put yourself into it. That may make it easier to find others who share that same passion.

jamie_n5
September 24th, 2017, 08:15 PM
I think you have fallen into some deep depression man. This doesn't sound like your normal self. My advise is to go see some counselor for some help to get back on track. I have been on antidepressants for about 3 years and they have really helped me.