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View Full Version : complete and utter physical isolation


phasis
September 6th, 2017, 07:48 PM
i've had like three good friends in my life. i've been living two hours away from my datemate (they're my only friend currently) on and off since last october, and have not made a single friend here. it doesn't help that i have all the things needed to be a complete hermit.

1) homeschooled. 2) no extracurricular activities (i have hobbies but don't take classes.) 3) i have severe mental health issues. 4) i have moderate to severe physical issues. 5) i'm violently an introvert and can't hold a conversation to save my life.

i'm basically dying of loneliness though. i have no idea where to start. i know how to make friends, kinda, i just can't find anybody since i'm at home all of the time.

Scarface
September 6th, 2017, 08:40 PM
Hey there! Like you, I am an introvert. Life is hard for introverts. Wanting conversations but never knowing how to start them or being too afraid of saying the wrong thing, or hell even the thought of having a conversation at all. That being said from my side of the fence to make you feel a bit more comfortable. I'm schitzoeffective, with severe ptsd. Doctors have flat out told me I need to be on disability. However disability don't pay the mutha fuckin bills. however I have a high stress job that doesn't require me to be civil or in customer service so it works out. I have very few in real life friends because I don't go out. I play video games with friends, but I never leave the house. I play games and work. That's all I do. At some point it's going to require a lot of self talk/motivation from that loneliness to put yourself out there. Even just a little bit. Understandably speaking - you're homeschooled. Though that doesn't stop you from finding clubs and stuff in your area to get involved with. Or even just getting out of the house to start. Going for a walk. Be with nature. Sometimes. A tire can inspire you to do things. Isolating in the house speaking from experience gets you no where socially. Unless you're like me and hate most people and require large quantities of solitude and love being alone. Which it sounds like you're growing tired of. I'm not saying to go out to the mall and throw yourself into a crowd of people. Just start small and find hobbies and really soul search to find exactly what you're looking for. It won't happen overnight and it certainly won't change unless you want it to. There are SOME good people out there as much as I don't like to admit because again I'm not a fan of most people. Though in order to make friends you have to go out on a limb. Leave your comfort zone. If you ever want to talk to someone or you need a break from the silence shoot me a pm. I'll be around.

Babs
September 6th, 2017, 08:58 PM
man I can relate. I was also home schooled and for a long time had no where to be besides at home and I'm a bad conversationalist. Believe me when I tell you that you can improve your situation if you put the effort into it.

First in foremost, I suggest you get involved with something to get you out of the house. If you're old enough, get a job or do some volunteer work – even if it doesn't sound particularly fun, you will enjoy the interaction and in turn you will appreciate your alone time even more.

About conversational skills, you will get better at it when you're used to being around people. The biggest hump there is yourself. Just be real with people. I've found that chatting online can be a good way to build conversational skills. Places like VT really can keep you from going insane during your lowest moments, truly.

It may be harder for some than others but everyone finds their people, the people they can really connect with. You just have to go beyond your comfort zone. You'll find that it's worth it.

jamie_n5
September 7th, 2017, 01:26 PM
Being home schooled has it's merit but it sure makes your life lacking in social life. We humans need other humans in our lives to make it whole. I know that you being an introvert makes it difficult too. Is there any organization or similar things that you could join to try get socially involved in? Church activities too are a good way to socialize too. I feel for you for your mental and physical problems. I hope that you can get some help there from your doctors. I hope you can find it to just get out there and meet people somehow and do things.

minty
September 8th, 2017, 01:34 AM
Hi phasis, I really relate what you're going through. I am in the same situation myself, homeschoolled and physically isolated and mentally/physically ill and feeling very very very lonely. It can be very hard. I didn't know there was someone in as similar of a situation as I was until I read your post.

Something very important and that helps me a lot is to leave the house whenever you can. I only really get to leave the house with my mother or with my sister and her boyfriend at times. Even if you're just going grocery shopping with your family or something mundane, it is important to try to get out every other day at least. If I do not leave the house for three or more days I can become susceptible to feeling very depressed. I usually can't get out as much as I'd like.

If the day is one where you know you can't leave the house, I suggest making and keeping a journal, similar to the bullet journal system posted about often online. Make charts of things you've done in the day and try to form habits of always doing a few basic things per day, like eating three meals, showering, and some recreational activites. Journaling can also be a great creative outlet and a good way to get out your feelings. Even if you don't care for writing, you could always make collages and have fun with it that way. It helps me a lot personally.

My example of journaling is just one way to add more structure to your life. I have found that a very major contributor to how awful I feel in a day is a lack of structure and feeling productive. In my experience, structure is what makes me feel a lot better and helps me manage being alone in life.

As for making friends, I found a few when I would join random chatrooms on different apps, join different online communities, and be exposed to new people. Even if you only can digitally, it is important to put yourself out there, even if it is hard. Like other users have said, this also applies to real life. But if you can't leave your room, making friends online can help a lot.

If you would ever like to talk to or vent to someone who is in what sounds like the same situation, you can feel free to PM me about it, and maybe we could be friends if you'd like. :)

I wish you the best!