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wolfbuddy
August 28th, 2017, 02:16 PM
So I have a crush on this boy who I met in my school and in my neighborhood. He's really cute, smart and nice to me and I had a crush on him the moment I looked on him. I want to ask him out, but I'm afraid he will turn me down or come out to be straight.

I just can't get him out of my mind now. He's stuck on my brain and I want him for myself now.

My only problem is that he's 17 and I'm 13, and I don't know if he's gay or not. My best friend told me that he's gay and single, but I am not sure if I should trust him.

Every time I talk with him, he smiles at me and answers softly. Sometimes he tousles my hair and called me 'cute' and 'adorable'. I don't know if he means that in the gay sense or if he's treating me like a little brother. I'm confused.

mick01
August 28th, 2017, 02:38 PM
First, that seems to be a pretty big age difference. Even if he is gay, I'd be surprised if he would date someone 4 years younger.
But I guess its worth a try. Why don't you just admit to him that you're gay and see what reaction you get? That could get the conversation going. If you find out he's gay, ask him if he would ever consider going out with you.

JohnC
August 28th, 2017, 02:49 PM
I would be worried about the age difference too man. That could even be a legal matter for your older friend. If your parents got upset that you were seeing each other and doing stuff together they could report him. I have heard of that happening to older boys dating younger girls. I don't know about your parent's opinions. Be careful

Vermilion
August 28th, 2017, 03:23 PM
So I have a crush on this boy who I met in my school and in my neighborhood. He's really cute, smart and nice to me and I had a crush on him the moment I looked on him. I want to ask him out, but I'm afraid he will turn me down or come out to be straight.

I just can't get him out of my mind now. He's stuck on my brain and I want him for myself now.

My only problem is that he's 17 and I'm 13, and I don't know if he's gay or not. My best friend told me that he's gay and single, but I am not sure if I should trust him.

Every time I talk with him, he smiles at me and answers softly. Sometimes he tousles my hair and called me 'cute' and 'adorable'. I don't know if he means that in the gay sense or if he's treating me like a little brother. I'm confused.

Maybe just ask him if he's gay or bi or straight in a chat. Yes the age gap is a bit much and would make things awkward but doesn't mean you can't be with each other.

jamie_n5
August 28th, 2017, 04:07 PM
First, that seems to be a pretty big age difference. Even if he is gay, I'd be surprised if he would date someone 4 years younger.
But I guess its worth a try. Why don't you just admit to him that you're gay and see what reaction you get? That could get the conversation going. If you find out he's gay, ask him if he would ever consider going out with you.

I agree with mick01 that the age difference might a bit of a problem. I think however since you are so infatuated with him you should go ahead and ask him if he would go out with you or experiment with you. You have nothing to really loose by trying. Good Luck.

mick01
August 28th, 2017, 05:06 PM
Jonathan, I saw just now where you said you haven't started puberty. I'm not throwing any shade your way but that probably means you don't have pubes yet, can't cum and I guess some other things. I don't think its a good idea, at all, to try to be with a 17 year who's getting near the end of puberty when you haven't even started. Start out with someone who is nearer your age and going through the same stuff.

kyrocks03
August 28th, 2017, 06:05 PM
I think the age difference is too much especially given the fact that you are 13. I had a boyfriend when I was 13 also (still with him today) but he's the same age as me going through the same body changes. The biggest concern would be that he could get into significant trouble.

ska8er
August 28th, 2017, 06:15 PM
A lot of guys just starting puberty
sometimes get crushes on older guys.
I think what u r going through is just a
crush. I agree with many above that he
is a little bit too mature for u. It would b
safer if u found someone who is ur age an
just starting puberty to bond with. Just b
careful no matter what u do.

SethfromMI
August 28th, 2017, 06:54 PM
I understand why you have the crush but there is too big of an age difference. the older you get it may not matter as much but right now, he could end up registered as a sex offender if he tried anything with you. I am sorry but try to find someone closer to your age.

kro814
August 28th, 2017, 08:52 PM
Why not find a boy closer in age?

wolfbuddy
August 29th, 2017, 02:23 AM
Well, I can't just control with whom I fall in love. And besides, he treats me better than all other friends do, I get a sense of protection around him and want him at least around me if not inside me.

He's really nice and caring, gives me hugs when I have a tough day, helps me do my homework and kisses me on my forehead. I tried to tell him that I'm gay but I couldn't get the courage to confess to him.

I don't think there will be a problem if no one finds out, half the time his parents are not there.

chomoto123
August 29th, 2017, 02:49 PM
Maybe the feeling is mutual
You should find a time you're alone with him
Or when u feel safe
And try asking him or drop hints ??
If you don't feel safe or secure, do not proceed yet
Wait for the right moment :D

wolfbuddy
August 30th, 2017, 03:05 PM
Um, okay...


So, I just talked with him and told him that I'm gay but he says that he already knew. I asked his opinions and on how he feels and he told me that he hopes I'll find a boyfriend soon who will love me and care for me.


He didn't tell me if he was gay or not, but I think he is because he shows me a lot of love. I told him that I had a tough day and he hugged me and kissed me on my forehead, he later invited me tonight for dinner at his home.


I've been dropping a lot of hints lately by touching his body and leaning on him, and every time I do he just holds my hand or wraps his hand around me. I don't know if he's going to take me as his. He however, seems to be very friendly around me, actually the friendliest anyone has ever been to me.

NewLeafsFan
August 30th, 2017, 10:26 PM
I'm very confused. He clearly has some sort of feelings for you. They might be little bro feelings or more than that. I just want to point out the age difference. I know its only a few years but that could turn a relationship into a statutory rape charge. Figure out what the laws are where you live.

wolfbuddy
September 1st, 2017, 02:52 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

pjones
September 1st, 2017, 06:21 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

If he hasn't shared his sexuality with you it's most likely for a reason. My guess is you are a friend rather than a possible sexual partner to him. My advice is to enjoy his friendship. While you may give your consent, where you live that may not be enough to avoid any potential legal problems, which would affect him for life much more than they would you. I hope it all works out for you

Skylake78
September 1st, 2017, 06:43 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

What I'd say is before allowing things to proceed any further, make sure you do a lot of research on the local state laws as well as national. I know doing research on laws isn't the most enjoyable thing in the world, but just remember that if anything goes wrong then it's going to be him that'll get pretty much the full blunt of any legal actions that are carried out as a result if anyone were to find out, since he's the much older one. I'm not saying "don't love him" because we can't help who we fall in love with, but I want to make sure you realize the negative consequences for him that could result from a relationship with you. Sorry I don't have a straight answer to your question, but I'm not familiar with the laws in your area and I don't want to give you misleading information :whoops:

Edit: I have to agree with pjones above, about how if he hasn't shared his sexuality than it's probably for a reason. If you want to be extra safe, which you definitely want to be anyways with this sort of situation, is keep things like they are now, and don't move things faster than they need to.

kro814
September 1st, 2017, 09:09 PM
You are in Tennessee. The age of consent is 18 -see exception:


Tennessee statutory rape law is violated when a person has consensual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 18. A close in age exemption allows teens ages 13-18 to consent to partners less than 4 years older. Punishments differ depending on the ages of victim and offender.

Just JT
September 1st, 2017, 09:10 PM
There's a lot happening here. Your 13 and he's 17
There's the obvious legal shit depending on where you live, be aware of that. If you care about him as much as you say here then don't put him in that position. Regardless of how you feel. It's just not fair to either one of you.

About what happening between you, cool, you were honest. And seeems so was he. But be careful. He may be approaching with caution as well

But he could also just be showing you some brotherly affection. But I doubt it.

Tbh, I'm 17 now. And I'd love to get with a younger dude. But that's just not cool. He can't do that and you shouldn't put him there either.

Check your laws and wait till it's cool to do so. If you really love him and he does you....you'll both wait and it'll be sooooo worth it

kirikiri94
September 2nd, 2017, 06:51 AM
It's all good !

wolfbuddy
September 2nd, 2017, 04:33 PM
...less than 4 years older.

Well, technically he's 3 years and 10 months older than me. And besides, I don't think there will be a problem if we let no one know, that is, IF I find out that he's gay and wants to date me. I don't want sex for now, that can wait. I just want him around me because he's so nice and loving and probably the best person I have met so far.

I do think he thinks of me as his younger brother, but I'm not sure because he kisses me a lot (on the cheek), hugs a lot, etc, I think he might be somewhat gay. Plus there's rumors. He doesn't do things like comment on my body or something like that, but he has called me things like 'small' or 'cute' or 'lovable'.

Sere
September 2nd, 2017, 06:15 PM
Well, technically he's 3 years and 10 months older than me. And besides, I don't think there will be a problem if we let no one know, that is, IF I find out that he's gay and wants to date me. I don't want sex for now, that can wait. I just want him around me because he's so nice and loving and probably the best person I have met so far.

I do think he thinks of me as his younger brother, but I'm not sure because he kisses me a lot, hugs a lot, etc, I think he might be somewhat gay. Plus there's rumors. He doesn't do things like comment on my body or something like that, but he has called me things like 'small' or 'cute' or 'lovable'.

Give it time. Don't rush things and ask out of the blue while you're still questioning if he likes you or not. Wait till you know more. Also age difference doesn't have to matter but I don't suggest openly telling everyone you're 13 dating someone who is 17, it probably wouldn't go well.
You're lucky and trust me you don't want to rush this. If you need anything hmu or just update this post
:)

SethfromMI
September 2nd, 2017, 09:42 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

the law can make things very very tricky esp since your 13. I would still try to find someone a little closer to your age. it would be one thing if you were 18 and they were 22. he is almost a legal adult, your not even in high school yet. I am not saying he would purposely try to hurt you, but it might be appropriate to find someone closer in age. I know, you can't control who you love, but sometimes you got to say even if I love so and so a relationship with them would not be appropriate.

kyrocks03
September 3rd, 2017, 08:18 AM
It sounds to me that he is being overly cautious. You are saying he kisses you and holds you and that to me sounds like he is interested in you but is probably concerned that you are young and haven't started puberty and such. My whole thing here is this is a 17 year old who is almost 18 and you are a young 13 year old. The minute he turns 18, this is a big problem. That being said, if you are convinced and he is convinced do what you need to do, but be aware of the consequences.

wolfbuddy
September 3rd, 2017, 09:37 AM
the law can make things very very tricky esp since your 13.

I understand that very well. I'm willing to wait until I'm 18 (hopefully). I just need him to be with me because he gives me mental satisfaction by being around me.

SethfromMI
September 3rd, 2017, 09:41 AM
I understand that very well. I'm willing to wait until I'm 18 (hopefully). I just need him to be with me because he gives me mental satisfaction by being around me.

and it is not wrong to spend any time with him (though how much do the two of you have in common?) but just be careful. when you spend a lot of time with someone, it can often times lead to other things when there is romantic feelings for each other.

Sean2
September 6th, 2017, 04:29 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

If he is only 17, then there is NO rape. I wish you well.

Gay Paul
September 9th, 2017, 06:07 AM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?

dura lex, sed lex :D
https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dura_lex,_sed_lex

The law is harsh but it's meant to protect you for doing something that you might regret in future!
You might think it unfair, as most young people when people of authority or law someone deny you something :)
You frontal lobes is not fully develop, therefore you cannot gave informed contest, because for now you decision center is between your legs :D and not where you should be in your brain :)
Most countries protect young people, and most of normal homosexual persons rejects proposal from people at you age too not have legal problems, and even if there are not such legal previsions, normal gay person would not do this, and remember that homosexual relationship is judged more harshly than heterosexual.
The law is to protect you not to harm you, for exemple i would like to be a pilot but i cannot because i had epilepsy(due concussion) as kid and in my country people who had it even cured ones, are disqualified just for safety reasons :-(
I can lie but it would be selfish, as the same as you friend can have things with you but it would both illegal and selfish, you can be friend when you was 18 your relationship can develop further
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/powerpuff/images/2/27/If-you-know-what-i-mean.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170324114737

folej003
September 16th, 2017, 06:10 PM
At 13 I'd say it may be a bit weird for you to date a 17 year old even if he turns out to be gay, it also could make it weird if he turns out not to be gay so he may not be there as much for you. On the other end of the spectrum it's the things you don't do that you regret and if no one ever took a chance and went for it then we'd all be single for the rest of our lives.

But if he says no I'd be prepared for it to be perhaps awkward for a bit but it's your decision to make and only you know what he's like around you. Remember though you are 13 your hormones are through the roof and unless your 100 percent certain then you don't want to be in a relationship just yet. Feel free to give it a go it's your life and you can do what you want to but laws will fall into place when he hits 18 .

Ps I personally have called a younger person cute but not in the sense I'd fancy them just in the sense they were a cute kid. I guess it was in the sense of like a little brother type way for me. Hugs and things are fine and a kiss on the cheek to me would be minor as well so I wouldn't use it as signs. If he's not gay and I was you I wouldn't want to lose someone like that, it's rare you find someone whose genuinely there for you.please feel free to email or private message me if you want to talk more privately or have any questions, best of luck otherwise and keep me posted on how it all goes buddy.

wolfbuddy
September 17th, 2017, 12:04 PM
UPDATE: He says that he's not sure about his sexual orientation. I still think he's gay because he did once get hard when I kissed him. And I've never seen him with girls.

Thanks to all for your support. I understand the situation, but I think it's good to make a move. I'll see what I can do.

markus98
September 22nd, 2017, 07:27 AM
It seems better that you ask him directly.

DoodleSnap
September 26th, 2017, 11:33 AM
I really don't think it's a good idea for you guys to be dating with that type of age difference - although you may feel mature, there is a lot that changes between the ages of 13 to 17. That's not to mention that there would be major legal issues once he turns 18, in which case he would be an adult dating a 14 year old, which would have quite serious repercussions.

If you're willing to wait, all power to you. Just be very, very careful.

skittlesh
September 26th, 2017, 04:19 PM
Update ??

wolfbuddy
September 28th, 2017, 04:55 AM
Update ??

Sorry, I forgot lol.

Just as all suggested, I went straightforward and asked him if he'll be willing to date a boy or not and then I asked him if he'll date me.

He said that he always liked boys but is willing to wait until he finds the correct boy. When I asked him if he'll date me he was concerned with even if it is legal or not for an old guy like him to date a 'kid' like me.

He just said like a million times that he thinks of me as his little brother and wants to always treat me that way, he wants to keep me happy and fulfill my every need for an older brother. But when I asked if he wants to be my bf he said that he's not sure... but he loves me.

I kissed him on his lips and he let me but he went into a hug then, I asked him if he wants to get sexual (I regret asking him that now) but he said not so fast. I think he's fighting inside himself on what he should do.

My mom's going out tonight and I think I should call him to my place to sleep saying I don't want to be alone. Just sleep, nothing else.

mick01
September 28th, 2017, 09:56 AM
If you ask him to come stay with you and say to him "just sleep," you need to stick to your word on that. He's obviously fighting his feelings and you're making it harder on him. You shouldn't push him into something that he will regret. He may end up wanting to stay away from you and you'll lose the friendship too.

Gamer98
October 1st, 2017, 12:58 PM
So, what happend?

wolfbuddy
October 2nd, 2017, 05:27 AM
So, what happend?

Well, he cooked me dinner and ate with me (which I consider our date) and later I let him sleep in my bed beside me. He didn't want to sleep beside me so I asked him to atleast stay beside me until I fell asleep, he basically treated me like a child (telling stories and stuff) and kissed me as I was almost asleep.

So... it wasn't as I had expected but I liked it and wanna doing it again.

Seraph
October 13th, 2017, 08:02 AM
Well, he cooked me dinner and ate with me (which I consider our date) and later I let him sleep in my bed beside me. He didn't want to sleep beside me so I asked him to atleast stay beside me until I fell asleep, he basically treated me like a child (telling stories and stuff) and kissed me as I was almost asleep.

So... it wasn't as I had expected but I liked it and wanna doing it again.

By the manner you describe it, I feel that he thinks of you as a younger brother more than a boyfriend, he may or may not be sexually attracted to you but he obviously cares for you. He seems to be fighting his feelings on what he feels for you, but you'll make it hard for him if you ask to be in a relationship with him.

I'd suggest you to wait for some time, let him take his time and fight his feelings.

zack.zack
October 13th, 2017, 02:03 PM
Hmmm. Well I was in your shoes sometime ago but I handled things much differently than you. If I were you, I would ask him to hangout with you sometime, this way you get to know him more and he gets to know you more. He may already know you have feelings for him, so dont go pushing yourself on him because you might lose him. Continue to be your charming self and dont do anything that would put him in an awkward position. Ultimately, though, you are going to do what you are going to do, so all I can really say is be careful.

adtse
October 17th, 2017, 05:18 PM
So I've been hanging out with him a lot lately. I told him that I don't have many friends or someone who can love me very much, and he said that he "loves me" and I can call him anytime I feel lonely and count on him any time I need help. I don't know if he said that in the gay sense or if he thinks of me as a little brother. My mom says he's a very nice young man and trusts me with him.

Will it count as statutory rape if I give my full consent and also let no one know?
I think he is just being a friend, not being gay or anything.

matt1
October 19th, 2017, 08:26 AM
Any updates on the situation?

wolfbuddy
October 21st, 2017, 04:17 AM
Well I think I'm being a bit obsessed with him, cuz I'm just starting to feel jealous when he's around other boys (his age). For some reason I just can't stand other boys around him, but I think I shouldn't feel so because its selfish of me.

So I got to know him more, and he said that he always wanted a younger brother and that I can do that role. He told me that he loves me and I said that I love him. I'm beginning to feel that he's not interested in me the way I am.

Seraph
October 21st, 2017, 01:57 PM
Well I think I'm being a bit obsessed with him, cuz I'm just starting to feel jealous when he's around other boys (his age). For some reason I just can't stand other boys around him, but I think I shouldn't feel so because its selfish of me.

So I got to know him more, and he said that he always wanted a younger brother and that I can do that role. He told me that he loves me and I said that I love him. I'm beginning to feel that he's not interested in me the way I am.

In my opinion it'll be for the good if he's not interest in you just because of sexual reasons, because then it would mean that he thinks of you as a little brother and would stick beside you regardless of whether you're in a relationship with him or not.

Hear me out: if he's interested in you for pure sexual reasons, then the moment you stop giving him that pleasure, he'll abandon you. However, if his love for you is brotherly, then he'll stick beside you no matter what, your problems will be his, he'll share your pain, your pleasures, etc. So, if he says that he loves you like a brother, then relish in the thought that you'd have his support for quite a while. But again, that's my opinion.

Snowrider
October 21st, 2017, 09:11 PM
I would just focus on being good friends for the time being.

SethfromMI
October 22nd, 2017, 03:21 PM
Well I think I'm being a bit obsessed with him, cuz I'm just starting to feel jealous when he's around other boys (his age). For some reason I just can't stand other boys around him, but I think I shouldn't feel so because its selfish of me.

So I got to know him more, and he said that he always wanted a younger brother and that I can do that role. He told me that he loves me and I said that I love him. I'm beginning to feel that he's not interested in me the way I am.

Well that is a part of life. There are going to be people you are interested in that way who are not going to have the same feelings and there are going to be people who are interested in you that won't have those same feelings. I still think with the age gap it is better if he looked at you more as a little brother and not as a sexual partner and not just because of the obvious legal reasons. Be happy he wants to be your friend and like a brother to you. Now you can choose if you can still be around him or not because of the feelings you have, that is a decision you have to make.

Just JT
October 22nd, 2017, 04:06 PM
Iím sure you heard the parable if you love something set it free right?

Bro I so get what your Dani g and feeling in every way. Been there

BUT, listen to what heís saying, and take those words as face value. At least for now. In my opinion, your crushing on him bad, and he is you to, but he also knows what his little head is saying is illegal.

So donít set him up, cause if it goes south heís got everything to lose. And if you really love him, you need to consider that. Even when you kiss him and he gets hard, itís harder than you think, and because he didnít push you away could have so many legal implications against him. Even if you advanced on him. Heís considered the adult, and you the child. At least for now.

So enjoy his company, friendship, brotherly love and guidance and get to know him. Your love for each other may drift apart,closer, or stronger, in many different ways, so just let nature take its course, and when that time comes, itíll be cool.

wolfbuddy
October 25th, 2017, 05:30 AM
Well, he told me that I can consider it a relationship (unofficially) between us if I don't go around telling everyone that I have a boyfriend. He said to me that he may have a few friends but I'll be equal to his brother and he'll make me his priority.

I don't plan on staying away from him cuz he's really resourceful and intelligent, so I only need to control my emotions on him probably, but God it'll be weird to have my crush hang around me and also know what I feel.

Anyways, my mom and his seem to be friends because my mom asked him to help me not feel lonely and also help me in my studies and he agreed.