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INeedALittleHelp
August 20th, 2017, 08:55 PM
Hi all! This is probably going to be lengthy..
I'm a 17 year old male. So I've basically always gotten crushes on girls and wanted to get married and have a family with girls, but recently, I've been becoming more aware of my sexual feelings. I almost feel as if women don't arouse me as much as men. I think I've always been kinda turned on by general male masculinity and stuff and have imagined myself just having casual gay sex, but just for the sex. I don't think I want to be in a relationship with a man. Like I have close guy friends who I really care for and stuff, but I don't think I'd want to date them, you know? I also feel very confused because I've never actually really been in a relationship whatsoever. The only thing I'm really going off of is what I think and basically porn. I really like gay porn, but kinda think it's gross when I'm done.. When I do watch straight/lesbian, I get turned on too and could totally see myself on that situation, but it just doesn't turn me on quite as much. Like I said though, ive never been in any type of relationship/sexual encounter. This has been causing me a lot of distress and I'm getting really depressed. I have OCD and General Anixety Disorder, so I'm starting to not even be sure of what my true feelings are and I doubt/second guess myself constantly. Please help. I'm really confused and just want to go through life as a "normal" straight guy. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community. Love is love but I personally just don't want to be that way. Thanks guys!

bojack
August 21st, 2017, 09:15 AM
The thing to remember is that being unsure about you're sexuality is totally normal, and you don't have to rush to figure it out. If you do have gay feelings, accept them and don't beat yourself up over them.

jamie_n5
August 21st, 2017, 05:49 PM
I deeply feel for you and your frustration. There is nothing wrong with being turned on by gay or male porn. I am gay and all porn turns me on. You may still be very curious about other guys and want to experiment so to speak. All guys are curious to see what the other guy has and that is normal. Not have been in a relationship at all makes it that much harder on you to figure out just what you are sexually. Go easy on yourself and maybe look for some guy that you can try things with without being romantically involved. You might also find a girl and get into a relationship and all will come together and the male thoughts may go away. I wish you luck in any way. Your sexuality can be one of the hardest things to figure out in life.

Jamiec1130
August 24th, 2017, 12:47 PM
Don't rush trying to figure yourself out. That won't do you any good in the long run. You'll know one day. Perhaps you just have a thing for gay porn? It really could be anything.

Chaosphere
August 28th, 2017, 03:50 AM
Hi all! This is probably going to be lengthy..
I'm a 17 year old male. So I've basically always gotten crushes on girls and wanted to get married and have a family with girls, but recently, I've been becoming more aware of my sexual feelings. I almost feel as if women don't arouse me as much as men. I think I've always been kinda turned on by general male masculinity and stuff and have imagined myself just having casual gay sex, but just for the sex. I don't think I want to be in a relationship with a man. Like I have close guy friends who I really care for and stuff, but I don't think I'd want to date them, you know? I also feel very confused because I've never actually really been in a relationship whatsoever. The only thing I'm really going off of is what I think and basically porn. I really like gay porn, but kinda think it's gross when I'm done.. When I do watch straight/lesbian, I get turned on too and could totally see myself on that situation, but it just doesn't turn me on quite as much. Like I said though, ive never been in any type of relationship/sexual encounter. This has been causing me a lot of distress and I'm getting really depressed. I have OCD and General Anixety Disorder, so I'm starting to not even be sure of what my true feelings are and I doubt/second guess myself constantly. Please help. I'm really confused and just want to go through life as a "normal" straight guy. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community. Love is love but I personally just don't want to be that way. Thanks guys!
I totally get where you're coming from since I struggle with anxiety too, so it can be difficult. It sounds to me that you might have bisexual tendencies, but it's more likely your hormones just turn you on to males, a lot of guys (myself included) go through something similar. Both my girlfriend and I (before we met each other) have the stance of, "if it's fun, I like it," whether the fun had been from a male or female or whatever. People like us need to just let our emotions ride themselves out, with time and treatment they'll stabilize and so will the sexuality side of things.

INeedALittleHelp
August 30th, 2017, 06:01 PM
I totally get where you're coming from since I struggle with anxiety too, so it can be difficult. It sounds to me that you might have bisexual tendencies, but it's more likely your hormones just turn you on to males, a lot of guys (myself included) go through something similar. Both my girlfriend and I (before we met each other) have the stance of, "if it's fun, I like it," whether the fun had been from a male or female or whatever. People like us need to just let our emotions ride themselves out, with time and treatment they'll stabilize and so will the sexuality side of things.

Hi, thank you for your response. I just wanted to ask you a few more things. So lately, due to my OCD probably, I've been "checking" myself to see if I get aroused. I think I only really find men physically attractive and barely find girls physically attractive. Like I think girls are pretty and stuff, but I feel like I'm not that stereotypical guy who thinks girls are "hot" so to speak. Like I said though, I truly feel that I would want a woman to be my life partner because I love their personalities, etc. Even now though, I doubt all my previous thoughts. Sometimes I feel like it'd be such a relief to "come out" but I don't even know if I should come out because I don't know what I am! This has been making me feel anxious and sick to my stomach. Could this maybe be due to anxiety/OCD or is it all real? How do I know what to do? Can this still me I'm bisexual or am I gay? I need help! Thank you!

Chaosphere
September 6th, 2017, 04:03 AM
Hi, thank you for your response. I just wanted to ask you a few more things. So lately, due to my OCD probably, I've been "checking" myself to see if I get aroused. I think I only really find men physically attractive and barely find girls physically attractive. Like I think girls are pretty and stuff, but I feel like I'm not that stereotypical guy who thinks girls are "hot" so to speak. Like I said though, I truly feel that I would want a woman to be my life partner because I love their personalities, etc. Even now though, I doubt all my previous thoughts. Sometimes I feel like it'd be such a relief to "come out" but I don't even know if I should come out because I don't know what I am! This has been making me feel anxious and sick to my stomach. Could this maybe be due to anxiety/OCD or is it all real? How do I know what to do? Can this still me I'm bisexual or am I gay? I need help! Thank you!
Just breathe man. Trust me, I suffered so much from second guessing myself and feeling like my emotions and suspicions weren't real and what I was experiencing was just my mind playing tricks on me. This was in regard to whether or not I was actually mentally ill, not my sexuality but it's the same basic premise. Basically the best way to go about this is to hold out for a bit longer. I wouldn't come out so to speak yet, because you don't know if your feelings will shift again. Of course, don't repress or hide who you are, just wait until you've stabilized and you actually know who you are. You'd be what some people call, bi sexual, hetero-romantic right now. That doesn't mean that you only get turned on my males, just that you can be in general.
Your feelings are certainly real and valid, the anxiety caused by them is part of your symptoms. The best thing to do right now is wait until you balance out, trying to label yourself or fit into a category will only make it worse. I imagine that could be hard for someone with OCD but for now your mind and sexuality hasn't fully developed yet. Hope that helps you feel a little more balanced with yourself.

Just JT
September 6th, 2017, 06:01 AM
You sound like a pretty normal 17 yo to me tbh. Pretty much every huh goes through some point in their teen life like this to some degree. Some don't to. All I can say is sit back and enjoy the ride cause it's not over yet.

Many guys are in a relationship with a girl and play with buys on the side. Not saying this ok cause it's still cheating. Just saying it's pretty common is all. Some guys just like having a sexual encounter with another guy, but the relationship side is for their girlfriend.

So don't get to worried about what your future is. Nobody know s what'll be. Your feelings might change and maybe not. Who knows. You may become very ok with being with a guy, a normal gay or bi guy that is.

You can't decide your sexual orientation. Kinda like your eye or skin color. It's what you were born with and that's that. So I'd try and forget the while label thing and be with who you are attracted to sexually, or intimately. It'll work out at some point in time whatever that means for you and your life.

SeansLittleBro
September 8th, 2017, 08:32 PM
You can't decide your sexual orientation. Kinda like your eye or skin color. It's what you were born with and that's that. So I'd try and forget the while label thing and be with who you are attracted to sexually, or intimately. It'll work out at some point in time whatever that means for you and your life.

I'm 17 and I feel lucky that I've figured things out --- I think I have at least. That being said everyone is right here just take things a day at a time. You don't need to label yourself and just go with what makes you feel the best. I know it's easy to say don't stress on it, but that is the best that you can do. Let your feelings guide you and if it is straight/bi/gay it has to be YOU and only you that needs to feel right about it.

DoodleSnap
September 20th, 2017, 05:05 PM
I think it's fair to say that a lot of guys feel the same way as you when they first start to question their sexuality - they still want to fit themselves into what society considers a 'proper' masculine lifestyle, and only have meaningful relationships with girls, and envision themselves in a heterosexual marriage down the line.

But I think that often these feelings come from repressed feelings and subconscious homophobia picked up from the world around us.

My best advice is to avoid worrying about how you label yourself right now, but instead keep an open mind, and work out what you like as you gain experience and try new things over time. Chances are that your feelings and attitudes will shift one way or the other, and that's okay. Just feel comfortable in yourself, even when things change from how you originally envisioned them.

And don't worry about the porn thing - plenty of people feel weird about porn after they have finished - it isn't at all an accurate gauge of people's sexualities or feelings.