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Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 11:07 AM
My dad does not want me dating girls right now and nor am i in the right mental stare for it, i would need to get my act together first before i took a girl on a date. But sometime in the future i would like to take girls on dates and see if i can find a girlfriend. My idea is that the boy must show the girl respect at all times, he should pay for the meal and other costs of the date and be a gentleman for the girl. Is this an out dated idea? Is it fairer if both go halves? I can't imagine taking a girl on a date and letting her pay anything ,it don't feel right, but people laughed at me and told me i was soppy when i told them what i think.

Mars
August 20th, 2017, 11:39 AM
I don't think it's an outdated idea per say. I had dates where I paid for most everything and others where my date paid for most everything. If it becomes an issue, just explain that it's not you trying to be sexist or smth, it's just you being respectful and you trying to be a good guy. I think it's chivalrous, just like holding the door for someone or pulling the chair out for your date type thing. It's respectful and curtious, not outdated. Maybe the importance of it is, but the actual idea, no.

Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 11:44 AM
Thank you mars, i would also maybe buy a girl flowers on a first date too, is that too much too soon? I don't want to go OTT and scare them off lol

Mars
August 20th, 2017, 11:48 AM
Thank you mars, i would also maybe buy a girl flowers on a first date too, is that too much too soon? I don't want to go OTT and scare them off lol

Well I wouldn't say go ahead n buy a whole bouquet :P Find out what she's into first. If she likes flowers, get one or two for her. If she likes sweets, get a small thing of chocolates. That type of thing. Don't assume n just be respectful about it, and don't go through some huge thing over it cuz it's awkward then haha

Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 12:03 PM
And i'm thinking i should dress smartly and make the effort. A smart casual shirt and jeans seems about right?

Mars
August 20th, 2017, 12:11 PM
And i'm thinking i should dress smartly and make the effort. A smart casual shirt and jeans seems about right?

Yeah, something like that sounds fine with me. Don't overdo it by wearing a suit or anything like that, but a polo or nice button down and some jeans or casual slacks would do fine.

Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 12:24 PM
hehe i hate suits and don't even own one :D i think casual shirt is enough

ska8er
August 20th, 2017, 05:07 PM
All u have mentioned above concerning
taking a girl out on a date is being a good
gentleman. There is no reason for someone
to laugh u. Do what u feel is right. As for a
girl to pay-if its a first date I would offer to
pay but if she feels she should pay then let
her but any dates after that u pay.

Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 05:10 PM
All u have mentioned above concerning
taking a girl out on a date is being a good
gentleman. There is no reason for someone
to laugh u. Do what u feel is right. As for a
girl to pay-if its a first date I would offer to
pay but if she feels she should pay then let
her but any dates after that u pay.

I agree, boy should pay on all future dates after the first, even if the girl pays or goes halves on the first date.

ska8er
August 20th, 2017, 05:18 PM
I agree, boy should pay on all future dates after the first, even if the girl pays or goes halves on the first date.

Any girl would b lucky to date u Bro. ;)

Friedchickenman12
August 26th, 2017, 06:33 PM
Be respectful, that's a pretty big part. As long as you're respectful and such I think you'll do fine :)

KatieCO2003
August 27th, 2017, 04:40 AM
Cool concept but you may be overthinking it a bit. If you've been talking to a girl for a while, you'll know she's interested in you because she keeps paying attention to you without you doing anything to prompt her. At that point, she will want to go out with you when you ask her. Its cool to look and smell nice when you take a girl out. But I don't think you should be expected to pay every time. There are a lot of girls (and grown women) that will take advantage of that and just use you as a way to pay for their entertainment. Some women think they're entitled to that. Newsflash. They aren't. Save the flowers for a while. They'll come as a much bigger and more appreciated surprise later.

Anyway, that's my opinion for what its worth.

ItsJustSomeone
August 28th, 2017, 12:51 AM
You seem like you have a great start here! Girls definitely like a gentleman. Having a nice, tidy appearance and good hygiene is never a bad thing. But, I suggest you keep your mind open when it comes to first date ideas. Remember, some of the best relationships start with friendships- and getting to know a girl will help you think of how to handle this situation. She might like going out for a meal, or she might like going to the arcade instead. Some girls are open to paying for at least a little bit of the date. Splitting the bill is not a bad thing, and you insisting to do so says enough within itself. Flowers can be pulled out later on- try asking her about her favorites as a little hint sometime. That's always cute. Moral of the story here: be kind, be neat and have fun. That's just the way I see it! :)

NewLeafsFan
August 30th, 2017, 10:44 PM
You should always date girls that have similar beliefs to you. If you believe that girls are equal and should have to pay there own way then you shouldn't pay for the girl. When the bill comes ask for separate cheques. If the girl has a huge problem with it don't go out with her again.

My point is that if a girl expects you to pay she is likely conservative in her beliefs on other parts of how relationships work. If you're far apart on those issues the relationship won't go anywhere anyways.

Emilyyy
September 5th, 2017, 12:05 PM
I'd say the respect is always the top thing. Girls will always appreciate a guy who respects them and their wishes and who goes at whatever speed they feel comfortable with. We want to feel loved and special and cared about. To many guys out there out for bragging rights. We want to be more than a trophy to brag about.

As for who pays what, I think many girls would assume for the first date the guy pays. I certainly don't mind going halves but I think many girls just assume the guy will pay. For later dates if they happen you can have a chat about going halves and I would think it unfair if the girl says no unless there's a difference in how much money you both have.

Bridlemaple1
September 5th, 2017, 12:36 PM
I agree, boy should pay on all future dates after the first, even if the girl pays or goes halves on the first date.

That isn't practical in my opinion for a few reasons.

But honestly when you're on a date don't concentrate on the specifics of who is paying or trying too hard to impress her. Just pick what you want to do and then use the time to get to know her. Also try to not overthink and enjoy it as much as you can because life goes by in a flash it's moments like first dates that come and go in an instant.

jamie_n5
September 5th, 2017, 07:00 PM
I think that there is nothing wrong with paying for your girl on a date. You are also right on about treating her with respect and kindness. This should be to anyone too. When you get in a BF-GF relationship then maybe you could split expenses and things. You will know what feels right as time goes by. Good luck man and you absolutely have the right ideas about things.

hayley2003
September 9th, 2017, 06:26 PM
the boys that are kinda of turn off are those that talk about themselves all time, and i mean alllllll the time. i don't care how cute they are, but they are more interesting in themselves than me, then not for me. i mostly say that because of one cute guy that i went on a date a couple times, and i barely said a dozen words. best part was during the movie because he was quiet. the only thing he was interested in me was for you-know-what. he even told me he wanted me to spend the night with him on the first date. that's crazy! :)

BlackParadePixie
September 9th, 2017, 06:56 PM
Respect is the MOST important thing. Be polite, respectful, but don't be afraid to be yourself either and have a little fun. It's always good to go out with a guy who is funny and talkative, but like above poster said....don't ALWAYS talk about just you. Find similar interests and talk about those things.

As far as expecting a guy to do certain things...I really never do. I mean, for him to be nice and respectful, yes... but like, I don't EXPECT a guy to always open doors for me, or I don't expect a guy to always pay for everything. Is it nice when he does, of course. But I have arms, and money...but I would never get upset if he wants to go halves on the check or whatever.

Chaosphere
September 10th, 2017, 03:26 AM
My dad does not want me dating girls right now and nor am i in the right mental stare for it, i would need to get my act together first before i took a girl on a date. But sometime in the future i would like to take girls on dates and see if i can find a girlfriend. My idea is that the boy must show the girl respect at all times, he should pay for the meal and other costs of the date and be a gentleman for the girl. Is this an out dated idea? Is it fairer if both go halves? I can't imagine taking a girl on a date and letting her pay anything ,it don't feel right, but people laughed at me and told me i was soppy when i told them what i think.
It depends on who you have as a partner. I feel the same way to a certain extent, but my GF doesn't want me doing that, so I make a game out of teasing her with sneaking payment before she can lol. You just have to see what your girlfriend thinks of the idea.