View Full Version : Friend of freind

August 19th, 2017, 09:54 AM
I have a question. My friend who had a friend of his family visit. Well my family picked him up to hang with us and his friend came along. Well his friend was shocked when he saw me and was whispering. He was asking why I look so different and was I adopted and what race was I because my skin is white yet my hair is kinky and nappy and that I had blue eyes and I pointy nose. I was mad but never said anything. Should say anything to my friend.

August 19th, 2017, 12:07 PM
It doesn't sound like your friend meant to be offensive, but what he said certainly was. If it were me, I would let it go, but if it happened again, I'd definitely say that it's racist.

August 19th, 2017, 12:25 PM
That seems really rude to me. I'd have to mention it my friend and tell him I was offended.

August 19th, 2017, 12:32 PM
I would mention it if it's important to you. Maybe your friend can tell , why his family's friend behaved like that.

Not everyone is a racist, who expresses particular ethnic-biological conspicuities openly or such. Even in a repeated case.

It is rude, certainly, but some people are very direct, and always express stuff what others have learned to restrain from courtesy.

So, as I said, ask your friend why his friend asked this question.

August 19th, 2017, 12:43 PM
To me being different is a good thing so I wouldn't have been too bothered. I agree with the person who said to let it slide this time but say something if it happens again.

August 19th, 2017, 04:45 PM
I probably will not say anything its just crazy he would say that. He also was wondering if I was gay because of my clothes

Just JT
August 20th, 2017, 06:45 PM
I'm not sure I'd call this any kinda racist thing. Maybe curious and not understanding boundairiers and stuff yeah.
Families are all kinked in so many ways these days. Kids looking different isn't that uncommon really. But seems he's asking pretty personal questions pretty soon after meeting you. Questions I think most would ask if at all much later when it's seemingly more appropriate. He may not get that heat is all

August 20th, 2017, 07:00 PM
unless you can't just let it go I would. some people say those things without really thinking about how it could make someone feel. they sometimes really don't mean to offend anyone, even though they certainly could offend the wrong person. it is a social lesson they just never got a hold of. your going to find many people in life probably have thought it, most have more tact about actually saying it. like I said though, if it has really, really bothered you, talk to your friend about it and I am sure he will say something. but if possible, just try to let it go. I am going to guess he was not try to be in appropriate (though asking if you are gay based on the clothing is sure an ignorant thing to say, but even then, it could be a social etiquette he never picked up on).

I guess the reason why I say possibly let it go is how much interaction are you going to be having with him if he was just visiting? if your not going to be seeing much of him, maybe even never again ,then who cares what he thinks? I mean, you could say that regardless, but it becomes a more regular issue that is where I might say something

August 24th, 2017, 03:36 AM
I probably will not say anything its just crazy he would say that. He also was wondering if I was gay because of my clothes

Ok now you gotta say something. Settle the score before the comments and questions get worse.

August 24th, 2017, 03:51 PM
The way I read ur post is that it was ur
friends friend that made the remarks. If
this is who u mean it is not against ur
friend. U could mention it to him that u
were uncomfortable with what he said
but otherwise let it go. If u or anyone else
is different in some way-u r special and no
one can take that away from u.

August 29th, 2017, 11:05 PM
I don't think that you need to say anything to your friend. What would you want your friend to do? Apologize for their other friend? Next time this other friend comes to visit spend as little time with them as possible.

Just JT
August 30th, 2017, 05:54 AM
How old is this kid?
He may just be very curious. Sounds like you come from a very mixed background. You may have physical characteristics that are considered "unusual" in his world. May spur a lots of curiousity and can't help his questions

You may not like what he did, but if you see him again, you could talk to him privately and answer his questions. Then after explain how you felt, let him know that sometimes as innocent his questions may be, couldn't make people very uncomfortable.

Sounds to me he had no ill feelings intended. So don't take it to heart. But I also wasn't there so...

Maybe update us?