PDA

View Full Version : Parents not agreeing with some of your friends


Diana2002
August 18th, 2017, 10:55 AM
Hi everyone,

This is my first post and English is not my native language so if I make any mistakes please feel free to correct them since I also try to improve my English.
Anyway, as I wrote in other topics I seem to think I have some problems with my parents being to strict sometimes with me and not with my brother who, granted is almost 3 years older than me.
A problem that is always on my dad's agenda is that some of my friends are unfit to be my friends because of things he perceives to be as bad: smoking tobacco, drinking, staying up at night watching tv or playing videogames, missing classes, going to parties or having sex.
My mom is more permisive but not by much.
Any advices on how to deal with the problem?

Dalcourt
August 18th, 2017, 11:12 AM
Well I'm usually the friend parents are not agreeing with...but I get what you mean.
Parents want to protect their kids and therefore it's kinda understandable your Dad isn't too happy about you hanging out with people who smoke, drink, miss classes etc.

I guess it will get better when you get older till then you can only show him that you are a responsible person who won't do such things just because your friends do.

Diana2002
August 18th, 2017, 11:21 AM
It's just I don't want to smoke, I've tried it 2-3 times and I didn't like it, same with alcohol. Some classes I find really boring and pointless but I attend them out of respect and habit I guess. But some of my friends who happen to do some of those things are nice and interesting people.

Dalcourt
August 18th, 2017, 11:30 AM
It's just I don't want to smoke, I've tried it 2-3 times and I didn't like it, same with alcohol. Some classes I find really boring and pointless but I attend them out of respect and habit I guess. But some of my friends who happen to do some of those things are nice and interesting people.

Guess if you tell that to your parents they will understand. It's all about trust and responsibility. If they see you won't be persuaded by others to do such things the situation will get better.
Do your parents even know these friends of yours personally?

Mars
August 18th, 2017, 11:33 AM
Same as Peanut_ actually haha I'm the friend that a lot of my friends parents don't like. They think I'm a bad influence or smth :P

Like ^ said tho, if you're just honest with your parents and explain your intentions you should be okay. Just because your friends do something doesn't mean you do it too, or you want to do it.

Diana2002
August 18th, 2017, 11:33 AM
Guess if you tell that to your parents they will understand. It's all about trust and responsibility. If they see you won't be persuaded by others to do such things the situation will get better.
Do your parents even know these friends of yours personally?

I live in a rather small town/city so everyone knows everyone. In my dad's book you could have invented a cure for cancer but if you smoke he considers you a bad influence on his kids.

Just JT
August 18th, 2017, 12:14 PM
Well I'm not a parent thank god. But I also agree with the other posters. Your parents abviously care about you or else they wouldn't be so strict. And as far as your older brother, we'll 3 years is a big difference

But also speaking from experience it's not so hot having parents so permissive either. My dad was. And although I know he loved me in his own way, I do look back and he let me do some messed up shit most parents wouldn't let their own kids do. The same shit I'm not allowed to do now. Because my parents do care and love me. That being said, makes me wonder some things. So I'd be thankful. Don't think ther ebeing unreasonable. Only concerned.

But trust and communication is key for you. If you keep talking to them about what you do and don't do, and be honest, they will get it. Let them know they can't choose your friends. Just like you can't stop 2 people from falling in love. People gravitate to each other for many reasons. And friendships aren't any different.

ska8er
August 18th, 2017, 12:43 PM
I think u have to show ur parents that
u r trustworthy and u don't show the
same traits as some of the friends that
u make or hang out with. Ur Bro is older
so he is maybe capable of taking care of
himself since he is closer to being an adult.
Ur parents probably think that u r too young
and will fall into bad habits of some of the
friends u have or make. Live with it till u get
older and then u will b on ur own. Show ur
parents that u r more mature in judging what
friends u have and try not to fall into peer
pressure.

jamie_n5
August 18th, 2017, 01:16 PM
You are 14 and daddy's little girl. He is watching out for you because he cares. My sister is 14 too and it sounds so familiar what you said. We all seem to want to grow up way too fast. Take life slower and enjoy your teen years.

Diana2002
August 18th, 2017, 01:36 PM
Well I'm not a parent thank god. But I also agree with the other posters. Your parents abviously care about you or else they wouldn't be so strict. And as far as your older brother, we'll 3 years is a big difference

But also speaking from experience it's not so hot having parents so permissive either. My dad was. And although I know he loved me in his own way, I do look back and he let me do some messed up shit most parents wouldn't let their own kids do. The same shit I'm not allowed to do now. Because my parents do care and love me. That being said, makes me wonder some things. So I'd be thankful. Don't think ther ebeing unreasonable. Only concerned.

But trust and communication is key for you. If you keep talking to them about what you do and don't do, and be honest, they will get it. Let them know they can't choose your friends. Just like you can't stop 2 people from falling in love. People gravitate to each other for many reasons. And friendships aren't any different.

wow, thanks Just IT, that actually hit a chord with me:yes:

Anniebanannie
August 18th, 2017, 04:59 PM
Hi Diana. Your English is beautiful. And it doesn't have to be perfect.

I agree with what others are saying. My family is strict, too, and if means I have to be patient with my parents sometimes. It's hard to say about your own parents, but much easier to say, for example, about your parents: They may be right. ;)

SingerInTraining
August 19th, 2017, 12:47 PM
I think everybody has had or will have friends your parents won't like.

Riley2015
August 20th, 2017, 10:45 AM
My fathers solution was to ban me from seeing friends he didn't like me having

Sandra123
August 22nd, 2017, 02:04 AM
A problem that is always on my dad's agenda is that some of my friends are unfit to be my friends because of things he perceives to be as bad: smoking tobacco, drinking, staying up at night watching tv or playing videogames, missing classes, going to parties or having sex.
My mom is more permisive but not by much.
Any advices on how to deal with the problem?

I'm absolutely agree with your dad hi is just right