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Melodic
August 13th, 2017, 11:57 PM
So, yeah I met this girl from work. She's apart of my friend group. She's single & like girls. She's also only dated one person & is overall a pretty decent person that I wouldn't expect to treat me like shit if we were ever together.

The thing is, I have a crush on her. It's not excessive or anything as I'm still getting to know her & I guess explore my feelings because I haven't really had a crush on a girl other than my straight childhood best friend. So yeah, It's pretty new for me. But I'm interested.

I'm still getting to know her & honestly it's too soon to tell whether or not she likes me. She smiles at me a lot & talks to me a bit even though she's super shy like myself. I've also caught her staring a few times. But again, I don't want to read much into these signs as she could just be friendly.

I guess, I just don't know really how to approach this situation. I don't know how to tell if a girl likes me. I don't know whether or not I should make the first move.

Any advice?

devotionnel
August 14th, 2017, 12:27 AM
If she's shy she could be staring at you because she wants to talk to you regardless of the context, but she is too shy to... I am kinda like that sometimes :lol: Getting to know her a little more would be your best bet as only time can tell and it's better not to rush things. Especially since it might make you and/or her uncomfortable unless you are both 100% sure of it.

Maybe after getting to know her a little more then you can talk to her slightly more than other colleagues then you may be able to tell the feelings slightly more if you make it slightly evident that you speak to her more than others? After this you could ask her out for a "coffee after work" or something small and see how she reacts. Making small moves like this could trigger such a reaction so you could tell if you have any romantic potential between you two.

Best of luck! :)

NewLeafsFan
August 14th, 2017, 01:34 AM
This isn't my place to say but I'm not convinced that you like her. The fact that you've never liked a girl until now could send you a loud message. Some straight guys have something that we call "guy crushes." This is basically when you like a lot of characteristics about them but there usually isn't a sexual attraction.

If you are not sexually attracted to her then all you should do is accept her as a good friend. If you are then proceed with caution as you are inexperienced in lesbian relationships.

Melodic
August 14th, 2017, 04:10 AM
This isn't my place to say but I'm not convinced that you like her. The fact that you've never liked a girl until now could send you a loud message. Some straight guys have something that we call "guy crushes." This is basically when you like a lot of characteristics about them but there usually isn't a sexual attraction.

If you are not sexually attracted to her then all you should do is accept her as a good friend. If you are then proceed with caution as you are inexperienced in lesbian relationships.

You're right, it wasn't your place to decide my sexuality. Honestly, if I didn't feel this way.. I wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place.

But let me just challenge your thought process here. I assume you're straight given how your response was worded which means at some point you liked a girl yourself. Even before you had your first crush, you knew deep inside you were attracted to women. Why is my case any different?

No, I haven't had a serious relationship with a woman. I did mention I've had a little, less serious crush on one previously and I've been attracted to many So deep inside, I know I like women as much as I like men.

As far as taking things with caution, I plan to because I respect the girl enough to make sure she mutually is into me. However, my sexuality and dating experience has nothing to do with me taking things with caution.

devotionnel
August 14th, 2017, 04:37 AM
This isn't my place to say but I'm not convinced that you like her. The fact that you've never liked a girl until now could send you a loud message. Some straight guys have something that we call "guy crushes." This is basically when you like a lot of characteristics about them but there usually isn't a sexual attraction.

If you are not sexually attracted to her then all you should do is accept her as a good friend. If you are then proceed with caution as you are inexperienced in lesbian relationships.

you don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to be romantically attracted to them

Honestly, it's perfectly normal for her to have only a couple of crushes on the same sex. I'm a lesbian and I haven't been in a relationship with any girls until now nor have I been interested in any other girls, does that mean I'm not a lesbian?

It's not until you meet someone you're interested in regardless of their sex - not every straight person is attracted to everyone in the opposite sex either.

--

But Madie as I said earlier it's best to take baby steps like you would if it was with a male or a female. It's best to respect everyone's feelings and especially because you may not know what she is thinking so it's best to wait it out and slowly develop the relationship whether platonic or relationship so you know where you stand with each other. Even if it starts out as a friendship first that doesn't mean that it definitely can't become a romantic relationship - start to go on dates and see where it goes :)

Best of luck. If you need any advice never hesitate to PM me. :)

Melodic
August 14th, 2017, 04:03 PM
you don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to be romantically attracted to them

Honestly, it's perfectly normal for her to have only a couple of crushes on the same sex. I'm a lesbian and I haven't been in a relationship with any girls until now nor have I been interested in any other girls, does that mean I'm not a lesbian?

It's not until you meet someone you're interested in regardless of their sex - not every straight person is attracted to everyone in the opposite sex either.

--

But Madie as I said earlier it's best to take baby steps like you would if it was with a male or a female. It's best to respect everyone's feelings and especially because you may not know what she is thinking so it's best to wait it out and slowly develop the relationship whether platonic or relationship so you know where you stand with each other. Even if it starts out as a friendship first that doesn't mean that it definitely can't become a romantic relationship - start to go on dates and see where it goes :)

Best of luck. If you need any advice never hesitate to PM me. :)

Thank you so much for your advice! I've been taking things pretty slowly & I'll continue to do that until I'm 100 percent certain if she actually has feelings. I'm still getting to know her anyways so I think a little time is best. :)

NewLeafsFan
August 14th, 2017, 04:33 PM
You're right, it wasn't your place to decide my sexuality. Honestly, if I didn't feel this way.. I wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place.

But let me just challenge your thought process here. I assume you're straight given how your response was worded which means at some point you liked a girl yourself. Even before you had your first crush, you knew deep inside you were attracted to women. Why is my case any different?

No, I haven't had a serious relationship with a woman. I did mention I've had a little, less serious crush on one previously and I've been attracted to many So deep inside, I know I like women as much as I like men.

As far as taking things with caution, I plan to because I respect the girl enough to make sure she mutually is into me. However, my sexuality and dating experience has nothing to do with me taking things with caution.

Because of your obviously offended response I just want to clarify a few things.

If you two are happy together that is the main thing. I just don't want you to get into a serious relationship to find out that the sexual aspect is missing. If you are sexually attracted to eachother there is nothing wrong with that.

By urging you to proceed with caution, I only meant that I didn't want you to screw things up just because you're somewhat new to lesbian relationships. Believe me, I'm rooting for the two of you.

jamie_n5
August 22nd, 2017, 05:22 PM
Well I think you need to take a chance and take the first step. That is the only way you are going to find out if she is into you. There can be many turned down offers in life but if you don't ask you will never know. Go for it.

Melodic
August 22nd, 2017, 11:20 PM
Update: I'm going to say there's a high chance the girl likes me but I want a second opinion before I do something stupid.

Since I posted, we've worked together a couple times.

Our first day was pretty slow at first but then during our staff meeting she stood next to me & we started rambling about holiday tee's & the movie Elf. During the meeting, I noticed she started staring at me a lot from the corner of my eye so I would look to give her a sign that I was interested. From there, things started progressing in a way. We had the same breaks. Our first break we were extremely quiet but the second break was interesting. Me, her, my friend & two other co-workers were in the room. We all started rambling about our crazy work experiences & what's inside elmers glue.

But I noticed my friend was acting a bit.. strange. Me & my friend were sending eachother sarcastic memes on Snapchat & she kept showing my crush the ones I sent. Then at some point, she was like "Wait until you meet her grandma" I forgot the context of the conversation. Um. I think my friend knows something but I haven't really pushed it. Then when we were leaving work, I mentioned to my friend that my crush had the same car as my dad so after my friend dropped me off from work she sat outside my house for 5 minutes to take a picture of my dad's car to show my crush we had the same car.

The next day was probably more interesting because I was functioning on 4 hours of sleep so I was a little bit more blunt so I was a little flirty. My crush came into work 20 minutes early & sat next to me talking on my break until her shift started. My fitting rooms were out of control so she basically was in my department way more than her own. She kept coming to help me everytime I asked even if I was a bit of a nag because I was tired. I think more than anything we were just teasing eachother. What I noticed was when I was trying to find a pair of shorts for a customer that were lost, she found them in 0.5 seconds. I looked at her and said "You're kidding me right now? I've been looking around for these things for 10 minutes" And she looked at me and started laughing and said "I'm sorry?" Then we just sat there for a minute just smiling at eachother.

So yeah. I'm not going insane.. right?