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View Full Version : Did I Do Something Wrong?


Romulus_
August 10th, 2017, 12:13 PM
Okay so this has been nagging at me for almost two years now and I still feel that I messed up, but I am not sure what I did to do so. So back in Junior year (11th grade) I was really good friends with this girl that I had known since middle school (6th or 7th grade). We had gone to different High Schools but still kept in touch and would visit each other over the Summer regularly. Anyway so around the middle of Junior year she asked me to go her school's Homecoming dance, so of course I said yes. I had developed a crush on her and I had a feeling that she liked me too.

So we go to the dance that year and I thought we had a good time, we got to hang out, I met some of her friends, and it was overall just nice and fun. Afterwards we headed back to her house to watch one of her favorite movies, so we did that until it was time for me to head back home. So she walked me to my door when we got to my house and we hugged and said goodnight and that was that. But I then later found out that she was disappointed that she didn't get her first kiss that night; I didn't realize she liked me that much and I didn't think I was ready for my first kiss either, but I still felt bad about it.

Either way, I resolved to just do it later that year at the Junior Prom and everything would be all better. But for some reason after that night, she started talking to me a lot less, even though I would try to start conversations. Then when Prom season finally arrived and I was getting ready to ask her out, it turns out that she had actually asked some other guy to Prom instead of me. I was pretty disappointed upon that discovery to say the least, and I figured that she didn't like me anymore for some reason. Now she hardly ever talks to me and even ignores some of my texts. So my question is, did I do something wrong to make her upset? Could she possibly have determined that I wasn't interested in her for some reason?

Sorry for the lengthy post by the way, lol. As you can tell this has been eating away at me for quite a long while :whoops:

devotionnel
August 10th, 2017, 12:20 PM
Personally no, I don't think you did anything wrong. At the end of the day you weren't ready to kiss her so you shouldn't feel like you regret such a thing.

Also from her point of view she may have thought that she wouldn't have a chance with you so she tried to get over you and see other people. By doing this it's mostly likely the reason why she has pushed you away and distanced herself from you? This is just the impression I'm getting from it. Since you've known her for quite a long time it might have been a long crush therefore she might have felt more upset that she didn't get that kiss therefore felt more inclined to get over you.

Hopefully it helps to see from her point of view. You didn't do anything wrong though :)

Mars
August 10th, 2017, 12:24 PM
Simple answer: No, you didn't do anything wrong.

It could be possible that she may have concluded you weren't interested in her romantically, and so she's started to pursue other people. It could also be possible that she realised she wasn't interested in pursuing you romantically, and so she backed off. A number of things could be the answer, but none have to do with you doing something wrong.

Even though it's done and over with, you can always hit her up again. Ask what happened, maybe rekindle an old friendship or conclude one. It's good to get closure though, if it's been eating at you for a while.

Romulus_
August 11th, 2017, 01:30 PM
Simple answer: No, you didn't do anything wrong.

It could be possible that she may have concluded you weren't interested in her romantically, and so she's started to pursue other people. It could also be possible that she realised she wasn't interested in pursuing you romantically, and so she backed off. A number of things could be the answer, but none have to do with you doing something wrong.

Even though it's done and over with, you can always hit her up again. Ask what happened, maybe rekindle an old friendship or conclude one. It's good to get closure though, if it's been eating at you for a while.

I really hope she didn't get the feeling that I wasn't into her, because I still was, I just hadn't realized she wanted to advance to the next stage of a relationship. And yeah maybe I'll do that, closure would be nice, last time I tried to message her though she never got back. I guess she's just moved on already.

Personally no, I don't think you did anything wrong. At the end of the day you weren't ready to kiss her so you shouldn't feel like you regret such a thing.

Also from her point of view she may have thought that she wouldn't have a chance with you so she tried to get over you and see other people. By doing this it's mostly likely the reason why she has pushed you away and distanced herself from you? This is just the impression I'm getting from it. Since you've known her for quite a long time it might have been a long crush therefore she might have felt more upset that she didn't get that kiss therefore felt more inclined to get over you.

Hopefully it helps to see from her point of view. You didn't do anything wrong though :)

That sounds like a possibility. Maybe the dance was her last way of seeing if there was anything there romantically, and after nothing happened she decided she would have a better chance with someone else. Yeah I can see that potentially being the case though, seeing it from her point of view.

Thanks for the replies! :) I still can't help but have a guilty feeling about the whole situation still though. We had gotten really close to the family and my mom always thought we'd end up together, but I suppose it was not meant to be.

jamie_n5
August 13th, 2017, 02:40 PM
I don't think that you did anything wrong at all. You weren't ready for a kiss at that point and she was. It was just a feeling at the time. If you are concerned that you hurt her feelings and turned her away from you then I think that you should talk to her and clear the air about it. Explain to her that you really truly like her and just weren't ready for that and were thinking that she may not be ready either. If you two were really good friends that shouldn't have made her give up on you either. I think it's bothering you enough to make this thread so I think that you need to talk to her about it and then you will know what is what and be able to deal with it and have resolve.

NewLeafsFan
August 14th, 2017, 01:41 AM
No, you didn't do anything wrong. You were not ready to have your first kiss so you didn't.

It sounds to me like this girl wanted to move faster than you did. By not kissing her, she may have thought that you didn't feel the same way about her so she moved on. Probably a simple misunderstanding. It was likely for the best as this girl because I don't think that you two were looking for the same things in a relationship.