View Full Version : I am so into this guy but it's hard

August 5th, 2017, 07:14 AM
So I mangaged to get a guys number from college through a friend of his, i must point out that this guy is incredibly shy, I think he has social awkwardness and we never spoke in college. I tried so hard to get his attention, like trying to making eye contact, like purposely put myself in the same places as him, trying to smile at him and just more in general and just seem more friendly than I already am. But I'd imagine that he somehow hasn't picked up on these hints that I'm extremely interested, I was doing this for over 6 months and nothing came from it. I'm quite an outgoing person but this guy is far from that and I only ever seen him with 1 friend ever, which is the one I got his number from. I so badly wanted to go up and talk to him, just to try and start conversation but this boy is so quiet it's actually quite entrancing, and I'm petrified that 1 bad word will scare him away for life. Since college ended a few weeks ago he just plays on my mind so much and since I couldn't find him on any social medias, I'm guessing he has none I literally couldn't take it anymore and I had to find a way to try and talk to him, because maybe over text he can come out hisnshell a bit idk. I asked his friend for permission for his phone number so I could 'ask him something' which my crush agreed to share his number with me as long as I didn't share it out at all, like i say he is so private.

When I got the boys number it turns out he's having really bad family issues, according to his friend he just recently lost one of his parents :( so he's not exactly in a good place right now. I texted him the other day and it took a few days but he replied to me.

Basically I want to get close to this guy but I'm terrified I say the wrong thing because he's so vulnerable. He doesn't know I know about his family member passing, I've put so much effort into this boy but if only I could tell him how I feel but I am 100% certain he will be so embarrassed and scared if I tell him how I feel

August 5th, 2017, 08:01 AM
I think this is a pretty good time to get to know him, perhaps not yet romantically. With things going on at home for him, he needs someone there for him to offer him a shoulder to cry on, as well as reassurance and plenty of hugs. Otherwise he may feel that he has no one to turn to, and trust me, it is a horrible feeling.

It can't be easy for him though - maybe he does like you but is scared too scared to even process the idea?

I would start with a text to make him aware of who you are, as well as some sympathy saying how you found out about the situation (as well as his number) through his friend, and then go from there?

August 5th, 2017, 09:37 AM
If he is incredibly shy as you say he is, and he is going through a tough time already, I wouldn't add more stress into his life by having to get to know someone new. I'd wait a little bit before contacting him. I think you'd have a better chance of hearing back from him at some later point.

Just JT
August 5th, 2017, 07:07 PM
Just take it slow. He's shy, you don't wana scare him off

Losing a parent is tough. He may need a good friend to talk to. Maybe just invite him for a cup of coffee after class or something. See where that goes

August 6th, 2017, 04:58 AM
Even if he took a few days to get back
to u it seems he is interested. Right now
he needs someone to talk to. Tell him u
r sorry for his loss and that if he wants to
talk u r there for him. Just don't come on
too strong.

August 6th, 2017, 07:16 PM
I think you should just start out slow and tell him about yourself and your interests and the normal get to know you things. Ask him about himself and what things he likes. If he shares with you about the death then you can console him and ask if he would like to talk about it or anything else. Just be patient and take things one step at a time. I hope that you can connect with him.

August 14th, 2017, 04:40 PM
Well, you have an ice breaker. "I was so sorry to hear about your _____. You must be going through so much right now." If he wants to talk about it let him. If he doesn't, which sounds more likely, don't force it.

If you think he's ready ask him to go to the _____ with you on ______. If you don't think he's ready, wait a month or two and then ask him.

August 25th, 2017, 12:45 AM
i would try and help im out, make him feel better or make him atleast a bit brighter. otherwise give him time to recover, let him know ur there if he needs u and just wait. it seems like u reallllly like this guy a lot lol but he does seem atleast a little bit interested bc he allowed his friend to give u his #?

good luck!