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Collins1
July 26th, 2017, 12:41 AM
So I think I have finally decided that I am gay. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for around 2 years now and I told her a few months ago that I am bisexual and I used to fancy her ex-boyfriend (which looking back now was a stupid thing to tell her). She eventually understood my feelings.

The issue now is that I love her, but I think it's more a friendly love now. I really don't want to break her heart because she really cares about me and I feel telling her that I'm gay would destroy her. She talks about us living together in the future and all that.

I just don't know what to do :what:
Any advice please?

azurzg
July 26th, 2017, 05:52 AM
The simple truth is: you should not be in a (romantic/sexual) relationship with a person you don't want to be in a relationship with.

Ragle
July 26th, 2017, 06:04 AM
just tell her the truth if you believe it's the truth. it's only fair, even if it hurts.
If you don't, you'll hurt her even more by time. you don't wanna be a jerk, don't you?

SethfromMI
July 26th, 2017, 08:16 AM
you got to be honest with her, esp if she wants to have a very long term relationship with you. it is not fair to either of you. you're not being fair/true to yourself if you're keeping it a secret and you're not being fair to her if you don't love her the same way she loves you. be honest, be gentle, be understanding of whatever she ends up feeling/saying, but I would tell her. you both deserve to find someone you're attracted to and is going to make you happy.

mick01
July 26th, 2017, 10:52 AM
I agree with what everyone has said before me but I'm curious to ask if you have any romantic or physical attraction to her? You've said you're bi so I'm just curious as to your answer.

ska8er
July 26th, 2017, 02:37 PM
U should tell her the truth and not
keep making her believe that u r
romantically in love with her. If u
told her that u were Bi at one time
maybe she already has a hint of
what ur orientation is. If u don't
tell her u will end up hurting her
more.

Coolteenboy
July 26th, 2017, 03:12 PM
Bi is one thing. Gay is another.
Neither is bad, but id agree w everyone else, if you care for her, hand have respect for yourself, toe up and be honest all the way around.

messid
July 26th, 2017, 07:26 PM
So I think I have finally decided that I am gay. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for around 2 years now and I told her a few months ago that I am bisexual and I used to fancy her ex-boyfriend (which looking back now was a stupid thing to tell her). She eventually understood my feelings.

The issue now is that I love her, but I think it's more a friendly love now. I really don't want to break her heart because she really cares about me and I feel telling her that I'm gay would destroy her. She talks about us living together in the future and all that.

I just don't know what to do :what:
Any advice please?

it would be better to break her heart now when youre still young and havent built a life together....if you wait until much later itll just hurt more

Collins1
July 26th, 2017, 10:26 PM
Thanks for all the advice everyone

I agree with what everyone has said before me but I'm curious to ask if you have any romantic or physical attraction to her? You've said you're bi so I'm just curious as to your answer.

-- I felt attraction in the past romanticly and physically; but I don't know if that was just more attraction to having a girlfriend for the first time and not being a virgin anymore or an attraction to her.
I'm just so confused with myself and what I'm thinking!!!

I told my cousin recently I'm bi/gay and she went "yeah I've thought you were for years now". My mum and sister act like they know already too; they haven't said but I can just tell they do. So it's not like it's a surprise I guess... i'm just waffling now.

MysticMarine
July 27th, 2017, 07:35 AM
I loose attraction to people i like easily you have to keep yourself interested or try something but if it doesn't work and you truly are not feeling anything then you need to it's unfair for her and the longer the relationship continues the worse it will be when you confess.

Flapjack
July 27th, 2017, 08:19 AM
Be honest with her buddy, explain how you still love her as a friend but that you're gay and you hope you can still be friends!! If I was dating someone I would want them to be honest with me as soon as they was sure they were gay :) Wish you the best buddy and hopefully you can still be close friends :)

Orange Kenny
July 28th, 2017, 11:24 AM
If it's a friendly thing for you but you have a romantic relationship going on, that's not right for you or her. It's like you're fooling yourselves. So I'd suggest you two talk about it and better let go.

jamie_n5
July 29th, 2017, 02:28 PM
I would say that you are definitely bisexual. You even label yourself as that in your bio. Have you had a serious relationship with a guy? Have you had sex with a guy so you know it feels and how you feel about it too? I think that you need to take your time and stay friends with your girlfriend and see what happens when you find a guy to have a relationship with and see how that goes. Good luck to you.

Nelmoinen
August 13th, 2017, 10:24 PM
If you do not have romantic feelings for someone you are dating, then there is a problem. You need to tell her, because in the end you will break her heart if you string her along.