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DerpyGirl
July 25th, 2017, 04:40 PM
So I have this supposed friend that I talk to on messenger sometimes and she will always tell me about her problems but whenever I mention something that's botching me(even if it's a silly think like my mom is annoying me) she just says lol and then nothing. No conversation, no empathy, nothing. It's like she doesn't have time to listen to me and only likes to see/hear herself talk. I don't think she's busy because I will ask her what she's up to and she will say she's just sitting around.

I know I should probably just replying to her or treat her the same way, but I'm not like that. I'm not wired to ignore people, I talk to them and try to help them. What do I do?

ska8er
July 25th, 2017, 06:18 PM
There r people and friends who r like
that. Maybe she is hurting bout something
serious and just wants to talk at length or
she is too much into herself. Either way
don't ditch her. Maybe u r the only friend
she can talk to. It Is always good to try and
help someone even tho u may feel like u r
not getting something back. Tell her u like
listening to her but u have things on ur mind
too and could she help u.

Just JT
July 25th, 2017, 08:15 PM
I agree. See friendship is a 2 way street. Works both ways. But she may not be ready or able for that yet. She may have a shit ton happening and feeling overwhelmed

But sitting around?
I'd get her doing something. Anything. Sounds like a recipe for depression

Rguy123
July 25th, 2017, 10:48 PM
That's not a real good friend. its selfish and she should let you unload too

NewLeafsFan
August 1st, 2017, 01:21 AM
I don't know why you would have a selfish self-centred friend. I would just ignore them until they give up on the friendship. You will have a happier life if you surround yourself with loving and caring people.

Andyyy95
August 5th, 2017, 07:08 AM
So I have this supposed friend that I talk to on messenger sometimes and she will always tell me about her problems but whenever I mention something that's botching me(even if it's a silly think like my mom is annoying me) she just says lol and then nothing. No conversation, no empathy, nothing. It's like she doesn't have time to listen to me and only likes to see/hear herself talk. I don't think she's busy because I will ask her what she's up to and she will say she's just sitting around.

I know I should probably just replying to her or treat her the same way, but I'm not like that. I'm not wired to ignore people, I talk to them and try to help them. What do I do?
Have you told her how you feel about the way she is towards you? Maybe she doesn't realise her selfishness?

The Byrd
August 5th, 2017, 09:31 AM
Perhaps you should ask her why she isn't more empathetic. Some people - myself included sometimes - want to be more consoling but are unable to bring themselves to doing so.

Freckles
August 5th, 2017, 11:14 AM
It might just be that she lacks people skills. Some people are just not capable of being a listener and soother. She may be selfish but again she may just lack the skills to help you.

Chaosphere
August 10th, 2017, 04:26 AM
So I have this supposed friend that I talk to on messenger sometimes and she will always tell me about her problems but whenever I mention something that's botching me(even if it's a silly think like my mom is annoying me) she just says lol and then nothing. No conversation, no empathy, nothing. It's like she doesn't have time to listen to me and only likes to see/hear herself talk. I don't think she's busy because I will ask her what she's up to and she will say she's just sitting around.

I know I should probably just replying to her or treat her the same way, but I'm not like that. I'm not wired to ignore people, I talk to them and try to help them. What do I do?
Sometimes you have to cut ties with people. It's important to conserve your energy, that way you can talk to and help the people who deserve it. Wasting energy on those who will siphon it from you only makes you a worse, more tired companion to those that care about you and whom you care about.

DerpyGirl
August 10th, 2017, 10:42 AM
Wow! Thank you all so much for the advice. It really helps. Lately I've distanced myself friends m her and I think she's wondering why, somif and when she asks, I'm just going to straight up tell her that it doesn't seem like she cares about what's on my mind or what I say. You've all been very helpful. Thank you!

EvaNL
August 10th, 2017, 04:43 PM
I agree with most people here. Friendship is a 2 way street. A friend should make you feel good, not make you feel worse. And when someone is only there to spill their own issues and not listen to yours, it drains energy. That's not a heealthy friendship.
You could tell her something like "I feel I don't get a lot/enough back from you. I hope this will improve.". Or, if you don't feel it will ever improve, block her on messenger and ignore her. But that's quite a harsh thing to do without a warning.
Good luck!

Emilyyy
August 15th, 2017, 04:03 AM
I have heard of a lot of people who are like this, first to tell people all about what's bothering them but when you tell them what's bothering you they don't seem interested. I would maybe bring it up one day, just say that you have noticed that whenever you bring up something that's bothering you, she doesn't seem very interested or concerned, while you always try and help her if she's got something on her mind. Just tell her you don't really think it's very fair.

bswetakumari91
August 15th, 2017, 11:58 AM
So I have this supposed friend that I talk to on messenger sometimes and she will always tell me about her problems but whenever I mention something that's botching me(even if it's a silly think like my mom is annoying me) she just says lol and then nothing. No conversation, no empathy, nothing. It's like she doesn't have time to listen to me and only likes to see/hear herself talk. I don't think she's busy because I will ask her what she's up to and she will say she's just sitting around.

I know I should probably just replying to her or treat her the same way, but I'm not like that. I'm not wired to ignore people, I talk to them and try to help them. What do I do?

the ball is in your court, u wanna ditch her and imitate her; or talk to her and listen to her and prove 'this is my character i won't change for others'. u may get many ppl to share with lik me, but she got only u i think. so my suggestion be the goodie as before 'sammy show the good side of u no matter what may happen'