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View Full Version : Did I cross a line I shouldn't of have crossed?


AlexF
July 25th, 2017, 08:54 AM
So my dad and my mom are separated since I was like 10 years old. I don't see my dad often, but he came down from New York to take me on a college tour so that I can start thinking where I want to go when I graduate next year. So last week we were at the hotel and I went and took a shower and when I came out I remembered I had not taken my clothes in with me, so i wrapped myself in a towel and walked out to get my stuff. As I am getting my stuff from my bag, my dad says: "What's the big deal, just change here. I'm your dad, it's not like if you are in front of a stranger." I though about for a minute, and then I thought "Oh what the heck, he is my dad" and I got rid of the towel and then changed without caring what he saw. Now I feel guilty, or I don't know what I feel. I just feel that I should have done it, or I don't know. Can someone help.

Freckles
July 25th, 2017, 09:00 AM
I would say he crossed a line he shouldn't have.

Desynchronized
July 25th, 2017, 09:41 AM
I feel its just a kind of misunderstanding. Also it depends on the family. Like if i did that...ugh i even can't imagine myself doing that. If both u n yo dad r comfortable w it i don't see any problems.

PlasmaHam
July 25th, 2017, 11:39 AM
I don't see a huge problem with it. Y'all are family after all, and if both are fine with it, then I see no real wrongs here.

Just JT
July 25th, 2017, 11:43 AM
Personally I don't see anything wrong with what you did. Other than if uncomfortable with doing so then don't. Maybe your dad shouldn't of said that maybe it don't matter. He is right, and both males just changing, not a big deal. But if uncomfortable with it, don't do it, and don't let someone pressure you into doing it if uncomfortable. It's a personal thing that's all

mick01
July 25th, 2017, 11:46 AM
Since you don't see him a lot, maybe it was just a thing on his part to reinforce the dad/son relationship, like "hey I'm your dad, you can trust me to be naked in front of me." I don't think he was trying to check your junk out.

nat2003
July 25th, 2017, 11:53 AM
Umm i am not comfortable being naked around my parents but thats me. I know in other families is completely normal to be naked and that things so maybe its nothing wrong

naenaendr
July 25th, 2017, 01:13 PM
If you were uncomfortable doing it, then HE crossed a line that he shouldn't have. You didn't do anything wrong in this situation. If you were fine with doing it, then there is no problem

Freckles
July 25th, 2017, 01:32 PM
Since you don't see him a lot, maybe it was just a thing on his part to reinforce the dad/son relationship, like "hey I'm your dad, you can trust me to be naked in front of me." I don't think he was trying to check your junk out.

But Alex is a girl.

mick01
July 25th, 2017, 01:39 PM
But Alex is a girl.

Whoa, I assumed Alex was a boy. Oops. Uh, no, he shouldn't have said that and no surprise she was feeling off about it. Sorry for my original advice.

DerpyGirl
July 25th, 2017, 07:26 PM
He absolutely crossed a line. That's almost like asking to see you naked. Unless you're a nudist family and/or those boundaries involving nudity have been talked about before, he crossed a line. It clearly made you uncomfortable. You did nothing wrong but you need to tell you're dad you're not comfortable being naked around him anymore...assuming you aren't. If you are then there's no problem.

Just JT
July 25th, 2017, 08:10 PM
But Alex is a girl.

I didn't realize that
If that's true, then my last post, disregard....


To OP
Think unless your a nudist family (guessing your not)
Probably not cool

Yeah, not cool

AlexF
July 27th, 2017, 03:45 PM
He absolutely crossed a line. That's almost like asking to see you naked. Unless you're a nudist family and/or those boundaries involving nudity have been talked about before, he crossed a line. It clearly made you uncomfortable. You did nothing wrong but you need to tell you're dad you're not comfortable being naked around him anymore...assuming you aren't. If you are then there's no problem.

I'm not trying to blame him either. It was I that had the last word. He didn't force me into anything. I felt weird, and I know he did too. Then again I feel that we trust each other at another level because after that experience there's nothing to hide from him. I don't consider myself a nudist, but is it bad to have that kind of trust with a family member?

DerpyGirl
July 27th, 2017, 04:47 PM
I'm not trying to blame him either. It was I that had the last word. He didn't force me into anything. I felt weird, and I know he did too. Then again I feel that we trust each other at another level because after that experience there's nothing to hide from him. I don't consider myself a nudist, but is it bad to have that kind of trust with a family member?


It isn't bad at all. You can be nude around your family without it being sexual. I was just thinking the manner in which he suggested it was a little inappropriate. Bottom line though is we can't tell you what bothers you and what doesn't. If it didn't bother you that much then carry on, as long as there's a understanding and trust between you and your family. What I find different and inappropriate might be the norm for others. Sorry if my last post jumped the gun a bit.

EvaNL
July 27th, 2017, 04:48 PM
I don't think he crossed a line. And you didn't either.
However, if you feel/felt uncomfortable while changing in front of your dad, simply don't do it again. If he asks why, you can tell him that you feel uncomfortable doing it. He's your dad, he should (and will) understand. But it'd surprise me if he did ask.

And it certainly is not bad to have that kind of trust with a family member that you nothing to hide.

Nudity is not the same as sex. People tend to forget that all too often.

What it comes down to is: do what you feel is right. It's not up to your dad, and it certainly is not up to us. You may even be comfortable changing in front of him at one time, and at another not. That's totally fine. It's your life, it's your body.

DerpyGirl
July 27th, 2017, 04:51 PM
I don't think he crossed a line. And you didn't either.
However, if you feel/felt uncomfortable while changing in front of your dad, simply don't do it again. If he asks why, you can tell him that you feel uncomfortable doing it. He's your dad, he should (and will) understand. But it'd surprise me if he did ask.

And it certainly is not bad to have that kind of trust with a family member that you nothing to hide.

Nudity is not the same as sex. People tend to forget that all too often.

What it comes down to is: do what you feel is right. It's not up to your dad, and it certainly is not up to us. You may even be comfortable changing in front of him at one time, and at another not. That's totally fine. It's your life, it's your body.

You're so wise. 😉🤓

EvaNL
July 27th, 2017, 04:52 PM
You're so wise. 😉🤓

We could merge our posts. They say the same thing anyway :D :lol:

DerpyGirl
July 27th, 2017, 04:58 PM
Okay. I'm not sure how to do that though. Hehe great minds think alike

AlexF
July 28th, 2017, 08:54 AM
Thank You girls for your advise. I've told 2 others friends about the situation and they said there is nothing wrong with it. One of them even told me to talk to him about it, even if it was weird. So yesterday before he took off to NY, we sat down and I told him that I felt bad for what happened, mainly because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. He said that even though he was surprised, because initially he said that because he was joking, he didn't feel uncomfortable at all, that he was happy I could trust him like that. So apparently it's been resolved. Thank you all!

NewLeafsFan
August 1st, 2017, 01:17 AM
Although i don't usually think that its a good idea for almost college aged daughters and fathers to see each other naked he was okay with it and so were you. If you were uncomfortable or felt victimised at the time I don't think you would have gotten changed in front of him.

jamie_n5
August 7th, 2017, 08:01 PM
I don't know what his idea or motive was. He is right about being family and all but we are also entitled to privacy and modesty. If he ever does anything beyond this like any type of touching or sexual advances that is definitely not right or to be permitted.

Niceguy17
August 8th, 2017, 12:20 AM
You should talk to your mom about it.

Chaosphere
August 10th, 2017, 04:09 AM
I don't think there's any reason to be guilty. As long as you both were comfortable and there was no sexual overtones (obviously there weren't any on your part) then there's no problem. Don't go further than you're comfortable, but you didn't cross any lines IMO.