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Ineedyou
July 11th, 2017, 09:05 PM
Im gay and in the closet. Everyday is getting harder and harder. All my straight friends are dating and having fun, my family is pressuring me to date someone, and overall life is going down hill. My life has been doing good up until this last year, when all the pressures from everyone started happening. About 5 weeks ago I was in the car with my mom and I just broke down crying because of all the stress. She kept asking me "whats wrong. whats wrong" but I just told her I was stressed out. I dont feel comfortable coming out to anyone yet... I just got back from vacation, but I was miserable the whole time. I don't know why all of a sudden Ive become so depressed. At night in the hotel when everywas asleep I was crying for a straight 30 minutes about just about everything. Now I got back from vacation and find out that the guy I had a crush got a girlfriend (I know I shouldn't have crushes on straight guys). All this combined has had me in a depression for what seems like an eternity. I just want to be normal, I dont want to live like this anymore

nicktheman2003
July 11th, 2017, 11:21 PM
Please don't feel this way. I'm 14 and still uncertain if I'm gay or bi. I might not have the experience you have in life but I do know that your very special. I think my Mom has a feeling that I might be gay, I'm not feminine in any way but I can tell by the remarks or hints she says. For example she has told me that a mother knows her children. She can tell when I have something on my mind, when I'm sad,upset or did something wrong. She has also made comments that no one should be alone and it doesnt matter what type of partner they choose as long as their happy. I'm so sorry you had a miserable vacation. It sounds like your Mom would be understanding and that she may suspect that you could be gay. Think about talking to your Mom, maybe it will not be as bad as you think. Good luck to you! Remember you are special and your life is very valuable.

DriveAlive
July 11th, 2017, 11:49 PM
When I was younger, I thought I was gay. It turns out I am bi but that caused me a lot of anxiety because I always wanted a girlfriend so that I would fit in. Are you in college yet? College is a great time to meet new people and explore your sexuality without peer pressures to remain in the closet.

folej003
July 12th, 2017, 03:24 AM
First of all you need to talk to someone, its not good to keep it all bottled up if its stressing you out and stopping you having a good time. I'm not going to lie I haven't been through what your going through so its hard for me to give advice on the matter but from what I gather you really do need to talk to someone. Its best to just get it off your chest even if you just talk to someone on here. Your more than welcome to try and talk to me about it but I'm more or less just going to listen as I cant relate to be honest. Perhaps the better person may be nicktheman2003 as it sounds like he may be having similar feelings In terms of being gay/bi or not. Personally I think you need to speak to your parents first but I'm sure most people on here will try and help as best as they can. Its up to you though I'm sorry I cant be of more help.

Just JT
July 12th, 2017, 04:43 AM
Your in a tough place a lota people struffle with. And it's just gonna take time. As an above poster mentioned about college. Lotsa changes and aprotunities. Oprotunities to be/become yourself with little risk.

Talking to someone is huge to. Maybe someone like a counselor first. It can help, it's someone who has no connection to you or yourfriends and family. Confidential.

Talkingbhere is always dimension to

Youndont needa tell anyone ever if you don't wana. They are the ones with the issue for not being open minded enough to even consider you could be not straight.

Have you tried to look for a boyfriend to do stuff with? You may not feel so alone if you have a bf.

Desynchronized
July 12th, 2017, 09:03 AM
+1 to all of above. Also its not your mistake that you have crushes on straight guys. You can't control it, so pls don't blame urself. Talk to someone, a good friend, fam whatever. Talking helps.

mick01
July 12th, 2017, 10:36 AM
My suggestion is a little different. If you haven't already go on to you tube and watch the "it gets better" videos put up by lgbtq kids just like us who tell their stories of dealing with exactly what you and tons of other kids are dealing with. Also, watch some of the "coming out" stories. If nothing else, you'll know your not alone and maybe even get some useful tips on how to deal with your situation.

Vegas2933
July 12th, 2017, 11:03 AM
My bet is that nearly every gay person has a crush on at least one straight person, so there's nothimg wrong with that. And my best advice to you is to come out. I know it sounds a little blunt but it will prevent the pressure from your parents and you'll find out who your real friends are. But do whatever you feel will work and I agree with everyone who has already posted. :)

EvaNL
July 12th, 2017, 02:16 PM
I just want to be normal

You are! You are normal! You are a guy who has issues. Everyone has issues. That makes you normal.
Believe me when I say that I'm not playing down your issues. They suck. A lot.

You say you're done with life. Well, life isn't done with you. Bear with it, and you'll find happiness. But it's up to you to find it.

My best advice is to talk to someone you trust. It can be a family member, friend, a teacher at school, or your doctor or even a psychologist. Nobody else has to know. Just talk to that person. It'll help relieve some of that stress. Get it off your chest. You posting this here is a very good first step! Well done :)

ska8er
July 12th, 2017, 07:45 PM
We all go through rough times so don't
think u r alone in trying to figure out ur
orientation. At 18 u r more adult than
someone just starting puberty dealing
with dating and sex. Just because ur
friends r into this doesn't mean that u
have to also. U take things slow. If u r
in the closet there is nothing wrong with
being that way until u r ready to come out
or not come out. Enjoy life-make friends
and don't worry what others say or do.
Don't get into a position that u r going to
do something drastic cause that is just being
a coward. Find someone to talk things out with
cause I believe things will get better as the time
goes by.

azurzg
July 13th, 2017, 05:27 AM
Im gay and in the closet. Everyday is getting harder and harder. All my straight friends are dating and having fun, my family is pressuring me to date someone, and overall life is going down hill. My life has been doing good up until this last year, when all the pressures from everyone started happening. About 5 weeks ago I was in the car with my mom and I just broke down crying because of all the stress. She kept asking me "whats wrong. whats wrong" but I just told her I was stressed out. I dont feel comfortable coming out to anyone yet... I just got back from vacation, but I was miserable the whole time. I don't know why all of a sudden Ive become so depressed. At night in the hotel when everywas asleep I was crying for a straight 30 minutes about just about everything. Now I got back from vacation and find out that the guy I had a crush got a girlfriend (I know I shouldn't have crushes on straight guys). All this combined has had me in a depression for what seems like an eternity. I just want to be normal, I dont want to live like this anymore

You are not alone. Many of us have gone through similar things.
It gets very tough when you start thinking you have nothing to look forward to. But you do. Things will change. Life will improve. Start talking with people in similar situations, online. Also, try to find a person in real life you can talk to about your situation.

April03
July 13th, 2017, 08:50 PM
Getting through tough times gives you a better mentality in the long term. Good luck

Genegerbread
July 14th, 2017, 08:44 AM
Life is definitely tough, which is something we've all learned the hard way once or twice. However, if you want to come out of the closet, you'll need to do it eventually. We all have your back, and the VT community supports you every step of the way. I notice these LGBTQ+ rallies fighting for equality, but I believe these people who sexually identify as gay, lesbian, or even identify as a different gender have gained their equality. In North America, being gay is socially acceptable. Though I know the LGBTQ+ activists involve themselves in politics, I think they've finished this fight strong and won their equality and acceptance. Mostly, LGBTQ+ rights have been severed from the political world. Many Republicans support it, including our own president.

Long story short, it won't hurt to come out. Everyone is here for you, and if you need somebody to lean on, we'll be there! I know how tough it is to come out, but once you do it, you'll feel awesome.

jamie_n5
July 29th, 2017, 03:00 PM
I feel for you very much. I was in the same situation that you are in now. I was so stressed out and unhappy because I knew that I was gay and so much wanted to come out to my family and friends. My sister knew and quite a few of my friends knew. That helped a little but I so much wanted and needed to come out and be accepted. I was 15 when I finally came out to my parents. It was a rocky road at the beginning but finally because my parents love me very much and with strength from God we all got through it and I feel whole now and happy. I know it's hard but please don't end your life. Come out and let all that stress and burdens be lifted. I think that you too will be happy and the person that you are meant to be when you come out.

Collins1
July 30th, 2017, 09:19 PM
I was kind of in the same situation as you last year. I used to cry myself to sleep for months because I was just confused and keeping everything to myself. I found telling someone really helped. The first person I told was also bisexual and wasn't a 'good' friend (just someone I knew tbh). Then by telling this person it made me much more comfortable to tell others. Telling my cousin and girlfriend was tr hardest but I am SO glad I did as I feel so relieved afterwards. Please please tell someone who you know won't judge you and you will feel so much better afterwards!

Nelmoinen
August 13th, 2017, 10:19 PM
You are special, one of a kind. You will find someone. Do not worry. Do not let depression weigh you down.

When I was in the closet, I was depressed too and unhappy. But, when I came out I instantly felt better and happier about myself. I believe if you come out you will feel better. BUT it is YOUR choice to do so. Think about it though. This will be your choice. Though I think it will help you in the long run.