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Seraph
July 11th, 2017, 02:25 PM
So this is a song I started to work on, but it is still incomplete. This song is about a girl whom I love and of the time I fell in love with her in an autumn forest.

I've made three verses so far.

The leaves were long, the grass was green,
the maple trees stood tall and fair,
and golden light in the glade was seen
of sunlight in mist shimmering;
thither I saw you dancing there
to the music of a pipe unseen,
The light of sun was in your hair,
and your raiment glimmering.

I walked into the autumn vale,
lost under the maple leaves,
I walked in the great golden dell,
and I walked alone in sorrowing,
until my sight crossed maple sheaves
and then upon you my eyes fell,
you walked under the maple-leaves,
with a shadow following.

The music healed my weary feet
that in the vales were doomed to roam,
I tarried there strong and fleet,
and gazed at sunbeams glistening.
Through the woods of wilderhome,
you lightly fled with dancing feet
that fell upon the leafy loam,
and then I tarried listening.

hjhj
July 12th, 2017, 11:12 PM
Sounds good! Keep up the good work :D

carlieta
July 15th, 2017, 01:09 AM
i really really like this! amazing!!

TheAP
July 15th, 2017, 05:13 PM
That's really pretty!

wolfbuddy
July 16th, 2017, 11:38 AM
That's really good, you'll get the girl.

P.S. I am just wondering, who's playing the flute?

Rguy123
July 16th, 2017, 02:23 PM
rymes. but seems more like a poem than song but then again you still need to complete it and ad music

Seraph
July 22nd, 2017, 07:04 AM
Thanks to all for your complements. I just completed the next few verses of the song:

Oft I heard the calming sound
of rustling of the leaves of fall
as they fell to the loamy ground
with heart-enchanting harmony.
I stood under the leafy hall
of leaves that were in music wound,
then I hearkened to nature's call
and listened to the symphony.

From the vales of Doriath
I peered into the seas afar,
I looked unto the weary path,
of my kinsmen fading.
From Romennor to Eldamar,
I looked for long in drear and wrath,
but found I not a fairer star,
than thy beauty shading.

Not the end, will keep on adding more, it's about half complete.

P.S. I'm not planning on adding music to this song, it's a song of beauty -- it doesn't need any music except the rustling of leaves and perhaps the sound of birds, perhaps a bit of harp-music and flute will do in the background, but nothing more.

P.P.S. The one playing the flute is her brother.

Just JT
July 22nd, 2017, 07:38 AM
rymes. but seems more like a poem than song but then again you still need to complete it and ad music

If you think about it, a lota songs, remove the music, are poems
Then they add the music, if they want
Sometimes the music stages in their head

Seraph
July 28th, 2017, 01:45 AM
If you think about it, a lota songs, remove the music, are poems
Then they add the music, if they want
Sometimes the music stages in their head

Music is not necessary, it depends on how you say the words. There's a difference between saying 'The world was young, the mountains green' and 'The a-wo-orld was young... the moun-tains green.'