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kyran.gough14
July 10th, 2017, 01:41 AM
Hey guys,

I was wondering if you could help me with my problem. Basically, I'm 14 years old, and I still don't know my sexuality. It's really getting on my nerves because I really want to know. Though, I'm not sure if I can handle the truth. I have been called gay in the past, massively by the people in which I thought were friends. Which some of them were, some were just trying to get to know me more so they can embarrass me more. Which for a whole w years, I'm pretty sure I was depressed.

Then I moved to a far away location, and some of my friends have said that some of the guys have said that I was gay because I always hang out with girls. Which wasn't the case because I always hung out with my friends, which one was a guy, and the other was a girl. I didn't even really talk to the guy as much as the girl, but I did like him as a friend. When they were away though, I would hang out with a couple of girls or I would throw the American football with the boys.

Then I moved again and I believe some people were secretly calling me gay, though I'm not 100% sure. Which by then, I was really starting to test how straight I was. When I first moves there, I didn't really like anyone. But then in the last couple weeks of school, w people which were guys moves to the same school. Now the first one we both flirted with each other and kinda stares at each other. Then he went and did something and stabbed him with a pencil. I really didn't like what he did. Then the second one we really started talking. I liked the both of them at one point, and I was debating which one I liked more. I couldn't decide. The second one eventually caught my eye more, just because of the shorts he wore in pe. I would always fantasize about him and me. Then I found out I was moving so I tried to make the most of him but he didn't come on the last few days. But during those times, I also liked another 3 girls. All three flirted with me like crazy and one in particular caught my eye more than the rest even though she wouldn't be as attractive to other men. She was hilarious and crazy and just reminded me of how I act and the type of person I wanted to be. of course the move disappointed me a lot. Im still not sure though, like i also like my best friend which I've fantasized about him the most. He's been my best friend for 2 years and we are both apparently really hot and good looking. I think he's cute too. I have gotten closer to him on the sofa and he didn't pull back and I felt him getting a bit close to be honest. I'm not sure if he even knows his sexuality. He says he hasn't ever dated anyone and doesn't plan on doing so until he's 20. I don't think he has a problem with LGBTQ either.

I really need to find out, it's starting to pull me down....

Vegas2933
July 10th, 2017, 02:49 AM
Sexuality is never easy. And you may not even figure it out till you're 20 or something. Who gives a shit what other people think, but what you need to do is experiment with someone and see how you feel after it.

Chaosphere
July 10th, 2017, 03:24 AM
It sounds like you might be Bisexual, but also really likely is that you're straight/curious. It can happen frequently in puberty, with hormones dictating your attractions. Curiosity about other's bodies becomes a springboard for so-called homosexual behavior. Give your hormones a bit to calm down, and keep an eye on your attraction to other people. Patterns over time will tell you more than we can.

Hermes
July 10th, 2017, 09:08 AM
You may be thinking, because you see other people with a "definite" sexual orientation label at a young age, that everyone should have worked out a suitable label but I think it is much easier for those whose attraction one sex completely dominates, i.e. those strongly attracted to girls and with zero, or minimal attraction to boys or vice versa, those strongly attracted to boys and with zero, or minimal attraction to girls, to work out such a label.

For those who are aware of a significant attraction to both it is harder to say whether you will remain some kind of bisexual or if things haven't really settled yet. Suffice to say bisexuality is a thing - not everyone is either completely gay or completely straight - there is a whole spectrum in between and that's where, from your description, you sit.

ShineintheDark
July 10th, 2017, 09:11 AM
Don't rush yourself, only call yourself what you're comfortable with and sort all of that out when you have a clearer mind or more time to experiment, even if that's in your 20s.

Andres_s
July 10th, 2017, 11:12 AM
the only thing that defines your sexuality is to whom you're attracted. having more friends that are girl doesn't say anything at all about your sexuality.

Jamiec1130
July 10th, 2017, 12:07 PM
Don't rush. It's fine to not know exactly who you are. I always thought in the back of my mind that I might be gay, or maybe I was straight, or something else entirely. But it's not going to come easy when you're figuring yourself out. I now have (finally) realized that I'm bisexual, and I'm ok with it. Don't worry about it. If you like someone, tell them. Maybe they can help you out if you know each other well enough and can discuss these things. Or PM me.

bojack
July 10th, 2017, 01:46 PM
people calling you gay cause you hang out with girls is pretty stupid. in the end, the only person who can decide your orientation is you, and its never easy. im still trying to find mine. but it sounds like you are at least curious

Bailey56
July 10th, 2017, 07:45 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like maybe somewhere between gay and bi but I'm not completely sure. As of right now I'd say I'm gay, I find the female aesthetic attractive but not the vagina lol.

folej003
July 11th, 2017, 04:45 AM
Only you will know the true answer, don't think anyone on here can help you figure out which sex your attracted to. This is going to happen in time, it may be in a years time it may be in 5 years time but there's no rush. You just need to explore your options. I think everyone at that age has those debates but you just sort of grow of it I guess. If I had to say now I'd probably say it sounds like your bi/curious. Hormones are all over the place and that will mess with how you feel for a couple of years to come yet so go with your heart, if you feel like trying stuff with someone with the opposite or same sex then try it. You just have to explore your options. If you need to chat I'm a message away or you can talk to me privately somehow and we can work something out and talk a bit more about it.

Living For Love
July 11th, 2017, 05:33 AM
Puberty For Boys :arrow2: Teen Sexuality and Gender

Qwertz
July 11th, 2017, 07:55 PM
I am 15/16 and I don't fully know what sexuality I am yet. I think I am gay as I am way more attracted to males than females. I would have sex with a male but when I think about doing it with a female, I get grossed out and I'm like hell no. I prefer hanging out with females when going out and I genuinely hate hanging out with males (straight) but I have yet to know and be friends with someone who is gay.

kyran.gough14
July 19th, 2017, 01:41 AM
Thank you all for all of your advice, i only now fihured out my passwword lol ao i couldnt read any of this great advice. I currently really like this guy, and he has show a few signs, whenever i get closer to him he has no reaction at all and we actually kind of get closer every time we see each other. Should i try and look for more signs? There are more but ive got a tiny keyboard with a lot to write lol. Yh same, i do get really grossed out by thinking about the womens private part, and pretty shy when it comes to saying stuff like that as you can tell lol. So if i an curious, then do i experiment with both genders or just the one i am being attracted to the most or at all? I do like hanging out with girls, because sometimes they can be much more fun, but i do like hanging out with guys too. Sometimes i get really nervous though, yet i dont get nervous with girls anywhere near as much.... Anyways keep the advice coming and maybe i can find out weather im gay or bi, but i belive im leaning more towards being bi than straight, and i doubt i am straight anymore.

azurzg
July 19th, 2017, 04:35 AM
I'm 14 years old, and I still don't know my sexuality

I have a friend who's 48 and he still doesn't know :)
Sexuality is fluid. Labels are for clothes, not for people.

Romulus_
July 23rd, 2017, 12:45 AM
Thank you all for all of your advice, i only now fihured out my passwword lol ao i couldnt read any of this great advice. I currently really like this guy, and he has show a few signs, whenever i get closer to him he has no reaction at all and we actually kind of get closer every time we see each other. Should i try and look for more signs? There are more but ive got a tiny keyboard with a lot to write lol. Yh same, i do get really grossed out by thinking about the womens private part, and pretty shy when it comes to saying stuff like that as you can tell lol. So if i an curious, then do i experiment with both genders or just the one i am being attracted to the most or at all? I do like hanging out with girls, because sometimes they can be much more fun, but i do like hanging out with guys too. Sometimes i get really nervous though, yet i dont get nervous with girls anywhere near as much.... Anyways keep the advice coming and maybe i can find out weather im gay or bi, but i belive im leaning more towards being bi than straight, and i doubt i am straight anymore.
I think you should confess to the guy at this point that you like him and I bet he'll say the same thing to you, as the signs you've explained so far seem to hint at that. And I'd say you only need to experiment with whoever you are most attracted to, you don't have to force yourself to do something with someone just so you can file yourself under some meaningless label. Whether you're gay, straight, or bi doesn't matter at all, just be with whoever makes you happy and makes you feel good :)

Just JT
July 23rd, 2017, 01:02 AM
Just be yourself, and enjoy whatever life brings you along that path. If you have an experience with a guy you have the hots with then that's awesome!! If it's a girl that's awesome to!!

Just roll with how you feel. Don't get wrapped up in labels now. Just experiment and see what and who you like being with in that way

Happiness is key

WhoWhatWhen
July 23rd, 2017, 01:25 AM
Don't rush figuring out your sexuality! I felt the same way a while ago! But if you like a boy and think he likes you, go for it. Same for a girl. Don't be held back by not knowing which you like more either, you can like one more than the other at certain times. And as said above, having more female friends doesn't make you gay.

jamie_n5
July 23rd, 2017, 08:53 PM
Don't rush into anything because of peer pressure or any other pushing from anyone. You will figure this out all by yourself when you are ready. You will know in your heart the right decision.

Shamal
August 5th, 2017, 03:24 AM
Don't rush yourself, labels can be distracting so just go with what you feel and eventually you'll find out who you like.

pauly
August 5th, 2017, 05:14 AM
Thank you all for all of your advice, i only now fihured out my passwword lol ao i couldnt read any of this great advice. I currently really like this guy, and he has show a few signs, whenever i get closer to him he has no reaction at all and we actually kind of get closer every time we see each other. Should i try and look for more signs? There are more but ive got a tiny keyboard with a lot to write lol. Yh same, i do get really grossed out by thinking about the womens private part, and pretty shy when it comes to saying stuff like that as you can tell lol. So if i an curious, then do i experiment with both genders or just the one i am being attracted to the most or at all? I do like hanging out with girls, because sometimes they can be much more fun, but i do like hanging out with guys too. Sometimes i get really nervous though, yet i dont get nervous with girls anywhere near as much.... Anyways keep the advice coming and maybe i can find out weather im gay or bi, but i belive im leaning more towards being bi than straight, and i doubt i am straight anymore.

Hi there.
I'm the same age as you and exactly the same thoughts have gone through my mind too. But I reckon I'm not ready to test out my sexuality. I can't see the need to do anything which I could later regret until I'm pretty sure whether I prefer girls or boys, or both equally.
So if I were you, I'd keep an open mind, keep looking and thinking but don't commit yourself one way or the other just yet. And remember that whatever sexuality you end up being - which you might not know for sure for a few years yet - it is something to look forward to, not to stress out about.
Good luck and try to keep calm.

bojack
August 5th, 2017, 02:46 PM
Thank you all for all of your advice, i only now fihured out my passwword lol ao i couldnt read any of this great advice. I currently really like this guy, and he has show a few signs, whenever i get closer to him he has no reaction at all and we actually kind of get closer every time we see each other. Should i try and look for more signs? There are more but ive got a tiny keyboard with a lot to write lol. Yh same, i do get really grossed out by thinking about the womens private part, and pretty shy when it comes to saying stuff like that as you can tell lol. So if i an curious, then do i experiment with both genders or just the one i am being attracted to the most or at all? I do like hanging out with girls, because sometimes they can be much more fun, but i do like hanging out with guys too. Sometimes i get really nervous though, yet i dont get nervous with girls anywhere near as much.... Anyways keep the advice coming and maybe i can find out weather im gay or bi, but i belive im leaning more towards being bi than straight, and i doubt i am straight anymore.

If this friend is giving off signs that he might be into you, and you feel like it wouldn't ruin the relationship, there would be nothing wrong with telling him how you feel.
Plus just getting with a guy doesn't make you gay or bi. Only you get to decide on what label fits you, based on your feelings, not on your physical experiences

Nelmoinen
August 13th, 2017, 08:57 PM
Think of it like this:

Sexuality is the type of person you love.

Just think and listen to your heart. Who do you like? Why? If you like boys and girls that's ok and so is liking just boys or just girl or even no one. OR even just their personality. It's up to you. Look up a list of sexualities and see which one suits you.

If it is bringing you down, maybe you already know who you are, you are just denying it because you are scared or uncertain. Take some time to think.

kyran.gough14
August 24th, 2017, 10:25 PM
hey thanks for the replies, sorry i havent said anything sooner but forgot my username lol anywyas ive moved from that place now and i think ive already got another guy flirting with me in biology. today actually. he just kept trying to make me laugh and when another guy tried to join in which i think they knew each well before so yh and he just kinda ignored him and kept messing around with me instead. i think im bi right now but could change, though im not gona say anything until i starts dating a guy that im bi. to be honest i think i am kinda scared of being gay mainly because of the countty and state im in. arkansas is probaby the worst place to be if you are LGBTQ and im not joking. ive seen maybe one or two gay/lezbian couples so far, but they are treated terribly. someone just today got into loads of trouble even though it wasnt his fault and i have no idea weather or not its because hes gay or whatever but no ine else got into anywhere near as much trouble. but yeah, anyway the guys really cute and he is a really nice person, kimda like me in ways but different in others. i cant wait for biology on monday and fingerscrossed!! ill keep u guys updated

yeah i dont really feel the same way when i have a crush on a guy or a girl. i feel more in love wih guys i guess, like ive never really liked the thought of the v either (sorry i feel way to awkward saying the actual word), though i have definitley had a crush kn a girl that was just as strong with guy before.

Hi there.
I'm the same age as you and exactly the same thoughts have gone through my mind too. But I reckon I'm not ready to test out my sexuality. I can't see the need to do anything which I could later regret until I'm pretty sure whether I prefer girls or boys, or both equally.
So if I were you, I'd keep an open mind, keep looking and thinking but don't commit yourself one way or the other just yet. And remember that whatever sexuality you end up being - which you might not know for sure for a few years yet - it is something to look forward to, not to stress out about.
Good luck and try to keep calm.
lol ill try and keep calm! so far ive completely been too wound up in school and friends soi think im good at the moment. my mum said that usually youre supposed to know at around my age so im kinda confused with that now lol

sorry for all these messages lol, last one.

im not sure why but i find it extremly hard not to think about what other people are thinking about me. like i worry about things from my hair to my shoes that i wear. no rhyme intended. if theres a way you guys have learned to deal with it please say!!!

Posts merged. Please edit or use multi quote next time. ~Endeavour

pauly
August 25th, 2017, 04:04 AM
I still think it's to do with relaxing more. And try to think of other things and other people rather than worry about yourself. If you do lots of other things, it will take your mind off your own problems....which aren't really problems at all unless that's what you make them. Good luck!

Just JT
August 25th, 2017, 02:41 PM
Kyran14 why do you feel you need to say anything about your sexuality to anyone?
It's really your business and nobody else's. There's no rule somewhere you need to come out a proclaim your sexuality.
I'd prefer to just do what makes you happy and keep people wondering. Let them figure it for themselves

kyran.gough14
August 25th, 2017, 06:20 PM
Kyran14 why do you feel you need to say anything about your sexuality to anyone?
It's really your business and nobody else's. There's no rule somewhere you need to come out a proclaim your sexuality.
I'd prefer to just do what makes you happy and keep people wondering. Let them figure it for themselves

Okay I really like your advice and i'll probably try to use it. I like the fact that not letting them know, and making them figure it out is better because then anyone who does like me, will have to first get to know me. Thanks!!;)

kro814
August 25th, 2017, 10:50 PM
I don't think at age 14 you have to rush to get a label.

Just JT
August 25th, 2017, 11:54 PM
Okay I really like your advice and i'll probably try to use it. I like the fact that not letting them know, and making them figure it out is better because then anyone who does like me, will have to first get to know me. Thanks!!;)

Cool.
See the way I see it is people always assume we're all straight. And that's not reality. We're all different. So be yourself.

And if they ask something like why didn't you say something you can just say why didn't you ask?

It's real and it works

SeansLittleBro
September 4th, 2017, 01:08 PM
I have a friend who's 48 and he still doesn't know :)
Sexuality is fluid. Labels are for clothes, not for people.

As Azur said it is fluid. My uncle who had 2 kids and married to a female for 27 years one day realized that he was gay. He told me that he struggled with this all his life and the only way that he could really be himself was admit it to himself. So you may not know today or tomorrow or even 30 years from now but I guess in the end you will feel who you truly are. Hope that makes sense.

DoodleSnap
September 20th, 2017, 06:09 PM
There's a lot of good advice here - sexuality is a fluid thing, and it will change and shift, so don't be afraid of that.
My advice is that you shouldn't worry so much about trying to define your sexuality in terms of labels, as there is no rush. Just keep an open mind, and learn what you like with time and experience.

Maybe you'll end up bisexual, maybe gay - what matters is that you are happy and secure in yourself. Good luck.

NewLeafsFan
October 11th, 2017, 12:24 AM
Don't feel the need to label yourself. When I was 14 I went through a bi phase that i grew out of. I was also called gay; it was just bullying.

If you have the chance to be with a guy and you want to you should go for it. Same as with a girl if u want. Labelling yourself is not important.