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View Full Version : Getting engaged? or too young to be thinking about it yet?


Chris298
July 3rd, 2017, 11:03 PM
Hey I just got kind of a long and weird question...how young is too young to get engaged/married? I mean I know that you can pretty much do whatever at 18... But like, the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about proposing to my girlfriend... Is that just plain crazy and my hormones making me think crazy thoughts, or not such a crazy idea? Its actually weird what got me thinking... I was actually at a job interview trying to get a better job, and one of the questions was where do I see myself in 5 years... And I actually thought about it and was thinking how nice it would be to have my own place and real career... And I couldn't think of a scenario without my gf being there with me... No matter how life turns out... Does that mean she is the one? Even if I did it, I wouldn't even dream of actually getting married until getting out of college and having a place to stay. So, given that I am still in college, living at home, and barely making more than minimum wage at a retail job, should I just wait awhile? I asked a close friend and he definitely thought I was nuts. Thanks for the advice.

Sere
July 3rd, 2017, 11:59 PM
Maybe wait a bit, but you're not crazy. Ik plenty of people who married between 18-20. In your mind it might be a bit wacky though you can do it. Hope this helps :)

Abyssal Echo
July 4th, 2017, 12:13 AM
I don't think you're crazy.... my cousin got engaged during her Jr year in college and got married about 6 months after she graduated.

azurzg
July 4th, 2017, 05:54 AM
Not for me, but you do you, and GOOD LUCK.
I hope you get to dance the funky chicken at your 75th wedding anniversary!

Dmaxd123
July 4th, 2017, 06:34 AM
how does your gf feel about it? i think you should have a reasonable expectation that she is on board before you pop the question out of the blue

ska8er
July 4th, 2017, 04:14 PM
Why don't u ask her where she
sees herself in 5 years?

Chris298
July 4th, 2017, 05:26 PM
Why don't u ask her where she
sees herself in 5 years?

Yeah I guess that would be a pretty good idea...i mean I think we are pretty much on the same page about all the big stuff like future kids and wanting to finish college and we don't really plan on leaving the general area we live in. She has much more extended family than me so she wants to stay close.

mick01
July 7th, 2017, 10:09 AM
Maybe I'm too young to be answering here, but it seems like you should make sure you have some financial means to support marriage and housing and things. I do know one of the causes of divorce is money issues. So I think you should wait until you get close to finishing school and have a job lined up before getting engaged.

ShineintheDark
July 8th, 2017, 11:31 AM
It's perfectly legal to get engaged for you as far as I know but you'll have to be fully sure you're emotionally and financially ready for that kind of bond because once you're married it'll be a hell of a lot of work to make sure things stay afloat since you will then be financiially bound to each other. Maybe wait a little while until you're a little more stable before thinking about that sort of stuff.

Just JT
July 8th, 2017, 06:33 PM
I don't see anything "wrong" inbgetting engaged. Not sure I'd tie the not anytime soon. Getting engaged is making a promise, with possibly no date set any time soon to get married. And you can still do all that stuff married people do.

So sure, but put off setting a date till your both ready for sure

mattsmith48
July 8th, 2017, 07:24 PM
Younger you get married the greater are the chance it will end in a divorce. You guys should probably finish college and try live together for a couple years just to see what its like.

Uniquemind
July 10th, 2017, 12:05 AM
I think it's very common to think whimsically and positively about the future.

I think the bigger obstacle is life paths forcing older couples to diverge due to travel demands.

Some of my older friends had problems in their "solid" relationships because each person had to go to different colleges or perhaps a internship took them away from their steady boyfriend or girlfriend. It then becomes a question of maturity and how each person handles a long term lack of affection and sexual urges toward others.

NerdSquared
July 10th, 2017, 02:39 PM
I agree, perhaps hold off on proposing for a little while, for the future stability of the marriage.

Melodic
July 11th, 2017, 12:36 AM
One of my close friends is engaged. They were high school sweethearts. She got engaged at 19 and is now 22 years old. They still aren't married because they are both in the process of finishing their degrees & becoming financially stable.

Engagement is a promise to eventually be married. It's not getting married. You don't have to be financially stable to propose to someone.

Chris298
July 12th, 2017, 12:02 AM
Ugghh yeah this is just sooooo confusing!! Haha yeah part of me really wants to do this and just like not set a date for now but then part of me feels like actually being at a point where marriage is a realistic option is going to be sooooo long away when you think about being able to find a place of our own and paying off student loans. I definitely could see myself with her though but I don't exactly think I am ready to be a "married man" :P