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View Full Version : Does that count as cheating?


Orange Kenny
July 2nd, 2017, 08:07 PM
Hey everyone.

Two questions.

A. What's your views on cheating? Is it worth it at least on some (unique) occasions, or is it completely out of the question for you? [That is a general question, not linked to the one below]

B. I have a girlfriend for the last 5 months. We get along just fine, the sex is great etc. But. There's a guy from school who's gay and he's got like a thing for me. He told me last year, but we were both kind of drunk plus I knew he knew I was theoretically straight, so I didn't really believe it anyway. He is almost 16, really cute (definitely more than me, lol). Anyway. We have been talking for some time now and the other day he told me he would like to -well, quoting would push the approprieteness boundaries- have sex with me. I mean, he knows I have a gf but doesn't seem to care about it, he just wants this one thing, which kinda makes the whole thing even hotter.
I've always been curious on these things, so I'd maybe like to try it out. Would that count as cheating to my girlfriend? Should I tell her? (she doesn't know) I know she'll freak out, I really like her, but I'd also want to try it with this guy. If I do it and don't tell her, where would that put me?

Feel free to answer, just try to understand, I haven't done anything yet, I'm just thinking about it. I want to be sure it wouldn't be a big deal.

ska8er
July 2nd, 2017, 08:54 PM
I Don't believe in cheating. Having a steady
girl u r in a more personal relationship with
her so I would say don't stray no matter how
much u r tempted. This is my opinion. U know
ur girl better how she may take u having other
relations with a guy. She may say she is ok with
it but then again she may not. I would NOT tell
her anything or ur going to lose her. If u go ahead
and do it and not tell her then u r cheating. Its ur
conscience and I'm glad I'm not in ur situation.

Just JT
July 2nd, 2017, 09:25 PM
Your in like a committed relationship? Then yeah it's cheating. And if you do, and get caught, everyone will know you cheated, and that's that. Don't do that to her, she don't deserve that.

Now if you and her talk about the options of trying new things, and this comes up, and she's ok with it, you could persue that topic. But I'd have clear guidelines with her, and don't lie to her about what you'll do or what ever.

And then there's your other friend. Where will your friendship go after you have sex? Something else you need to consider. It'll change. A lot. So what kinda relationship you want with him?

Bull
July 2nd, 2017, 09:42 PM
IMO that would definitely be cheating. Not fair to either of your friends and would likely end badly for you. Tell the guy thanks, but no thanks while you are in a relationship. I wonder how committed you are to the girl if you would even consider hooking up with someone else. That's just me.

Orange Kenny
July 3rd, 2017, 07:55 AM
If u go ahead
and do it and not tell her then u r cheating. Its ur
conscience and I'm glad I'm not in ur situation.

IMO that would definitely be cheating. Not fair to either of your friends and would likely end badly for you. Tell the guy thanks, but no thanks while you are in a relationship. I wonder how committed you are to the girl if you would even consider hooking up with someone else. That's just me.

I really like her and I have never screwed her up in any sense, we're totally getting along and all, but to me, hooking up with a guy sort of has a different sense in it. I mean, that's why I asked the first question about cheating in general. It's not like I'd go fuck some other girl or anything. This thing would just be about experimenting. Or would it? I don't know man.


And then there's your other friend. Where will your friendship go after you have sex? Something else you need to consider. It'll change. A lot. So what kinda relationship you want with him?

That's the only thing I'm not concerned about, because he has already told me that it wouldn't mess up things between us. It's just a one time thing, we both know that. And I know for a fact that he wouldn't want anything more, it's just about sex. We'd still be friends who tried something out at some point, you know?

Thanks for all your responses.

Bull
July 3rd, 2017, 08:22 AM
It's not like I'd go fuck some other girl or anything. This thing would just be about experimenting. Or would it? I don't know man.

Once you are in a committed relationship you are committed to that person and messing around with another person is cheating, regardless of gender. You can have it both ways at once only when you are not in a committed relationship. Otherwise it is cheating.

Orange Kenny
July 3rd, 2017, 08:30 AM
I hear you man. Thanks.

Katrinchen
July 3rd, 2017, 09:01 AM
to A: cheating is cheating

to B: for me that would count as cheating to your girlfriend!
tell her what you feel, what you think about and end the friendship with her when she does not like it
sorry, my english is not the best - but i never be friend with cheaters :(

Orange Kenny
July 3rd, 2017, 10:07 AM
to A: cheating is cheating

to B: for me that would count as cheating to your girlfriend!
tell her what you feel, what you think about and end the friendship with her when she does not like it
sorry, my english is not the best - but i never be friend with cheaters :(

What would you do if your boyfriend did that?

Jinglebottom
July 3rd, 2017, 10:17 AM
I don't think it's worth it. I honestly can't find a valid reason that would justify doing anything like that with someone else if you already have a partner. It's not really fair to the girl...

Amethyst Rose
July 3rd, 2017, 10:54 AM
If you really care about this girl, you won't be disloyal in any way. End of story. Why do something that could potentially hurt her?

Katrinchen
July 3rd, 2017, 11:01 AM
What would you do if your boyfriend did that?

i would send him to hell ;) with a never-come-back-ticket :mad:

Orange Kenny
July 3rd, 2017, 11:07 AM
If you really care about this girl, you won't be disloyal in any way. End of story. Why do something that could potentially hurt her?
That's kind of the whole issue here. Is that something that could hurt your bf/gf? Most people say it is. I said I'm not sure because it's not like I stopped loving her or had sex with her best friend, it's just about purely sexual, "victimless" experimenting.
Maybe you're all right and I'm not. I haven't ruled that out.

i would send him to hell ;) with a never-come-back-ticket :mad:

Well if it isn't that a calm handling of the situation :metal:

Amethyst Rose
July 3rd, 2017, 11:15 AM
That's kind of the whole issue here. Is that something that could hurt your bf/gf? Most people say it is. I said I'm not sure because it's not like I stopped loving her or had sex with her best friend, it's just about purely sexual, "victimless" experimenting.
Maybe you're all right and I'm not. I haven't ruled that out.

It has nothing to do with you ceasing to love her. It's about trust and loyalty in a relationship, exclusiveness to your partner. Imo it's selfish to act on your feelings toward the guy (especially just the sexual aspect) and/or to expect her to be ok with you wanting to.

azurzg
July 3rd, 2017, 12:48 PM
Hey everyone.

Two questions.

A. What's your views on cheating? Is it worth it at least on some (unique) occasions, or is it completely out of the question for you? [That is a general question, not linked to the one below]

B. I have a girlfriend for the last 5 months. We get along just fine, the sex is great etc. But. There's a guy from school who's gay and he's got like a thing for me. He told me last year, but we were both kind of drunk plus I knew he knew I was theoretically straight, so I didn't really believe it anyway. He is almost 16, really cute (definitely more than me, lol). Anyway. We have been talking for some time now and the other day he told me he would like to -well, quoting would push the approprieteness boundaries- have sex with me. I mean, he knows I have a gf but doesn't seem to care about it, he just wants this one thing, which kinda makes the whole thing even hotter.
I've always been curious on these things, so I'd maybe like to try it out. Would that count as cheating to my girlfriend? Should I tell her? (she doesn't know) I know she'll freak out, I really like her, but I'd also want to try it with this guy. If I do it and don't tell her, where would that put me?

Feel free to answer, just try to understand, I haven't done anything yet, I'm just thinking about it. I want to be sure it wouldn't be a big deal.


A.
My definition of cheating? Doing something behind you partners back, that (s)he would not appreciate.
Is it worth it? No, I don't think so. You break the bond of trust, even if (s)he never finds out.


B.
This is a tough question and a complex situation! Probably requires a lot of thought and consideration.
Have you ever had anything sexual with a guy before?
If you're are into guys, you will likely, sooner or later, have something with one.

To be perfectly clear, I am not into one night stands. If I like someone, I am sure I will want more. If I don't, I'm sure I'd prefer it didn't happen at all.

Finally, let me leave you with this thought. What if you have your one night stand with your gay friend... and... you really really like it?

Flapjack
July 3rd, 2017, 03:40 PM
A. What's your views on cheating? Is it worth it at least on some (unique) occasions, or is it completely out of the question for you? [That is a general question, not linked to the one below]
No way is it worth it on any occassion!! Big secrets like that rarely last the test of time and are really a ticking time bomb that you will always have to worry about so no in my opinion it is never worth it!! I would also like to add that if you truly love this girl you wouldn't want to cheat on her?? I don't get how people say they are in love and then cheat.


B. I have a girlfriend for the last 5 months. We get along just fine, the sex is great etc. But. There's a guy from school who's gay and he's got like a thing for me. He told me last year, but we were both kind of drunk plus I knew he knew I was theoretically straight, so I didn't really believe it anyway. He is almost 16, really cute (definitely more than me, lol). Anyway. We have been talking for some time now and the other day he told me he would like to -well, quoting would push the approprieteness boundaries- have sex with me. I mean, he knows I have a gf but doesn't seem to care about it, he just wants this one thing, which kinda makes the whole thing even hotter.
I've always been curious on these things, so I'd maybe like to try it out. Would that count as cheating to my girlfriend? Should I tell her? (she doesn't know) I know she'll freak out, I really like her, but I'd also want to try it with this guy. If I do it and don't tell her, where would that put me?
Okay firstly pleaseeee do not do anything without telling her for the reasons I expressed above!! If you really want to sleep with this guy then ask her first and explain why you want to!! You run the risk of her being pissed but some girls are cool with it!! Please do not cheat on her, it is such a nasty thing to do!! I feel so sorry for this girl!

jamie_n5
July 3rd, 2017, 04:06 PM
This is really a hard thing to address. My BF and I are in kind of an open relationship that we don't care if the other gives or gets a BJ or HJ from an other guy or girl. But we do believe that intercourse is meant just for each other. It is the closest and the most intimate thing that two people share together. So to us that would definitely be cheating. The tough thing is that you are still at an age where experimentation and curiosity play a part of life. So if you need to get it out of your system this would be the time in life to do it. If you love your GF and think it will be the one for you in life then I would sit down with her and tell her about it and explain it is something you are very curious about and just want to do to get that curiosity out of you. I think if you two are close she may understand and be all right with it. In the end do what your heart tells you is the right thing.

Just JT
July 3rd, 2017, 09:11 PM
Let me ask you this. If she did it to you the way your talking like here, and you found out, how would you feel?
Wouldn't that be a game changer somehow?
Would you still be able to trust her?
But if she talked to you about her feelings and desires first, and you were ok with it then....cool

SethfromMI
July 3rd, 2017, 09:19 PM
Cheating is NEVER acceptable in my book. I broke up with my gf over two years because she thought one time with another guy would be ok. It certainly wasn't.

yes, you would be cheating.

Chaosphere
July 3rd, 2017, 11:08 PM
Hey everyone.

Two questions.

A. What's your views on cheating? Is it worth it at least on some (unique) occasions, or is it completely out of the question for you? [That is a general question, not linked to the one below]

B. I have a girlfriend for the last 5 months. We get along just fine, the sex is great etc. But. There's a guy from school who's gay and he's got like a thing for me. He told me last year, but we were both kind of drunk plus I knew he knew I was theoretically straight, so I didn't really believe it anyway. He is almost 16, really cute (definitely more than me, lol). Anyway. We have been talking for some time now and the other day he told me he would like to -well, quoting would push the approprieteness boundaries- have sex with me. I mean, he knows I have a gf but doesn't seem to care about it, he just wants this one thing, which kinda makes the whole thing even hotter.
I've always been curious on these things, so I'd maybe like to try it out. Would that count as cheating to my girlfriend? Should I tell her? (she doesn't know) I know she'll freak out, I really like her, but I'd also want to try it with this guy. If I do it and don't tell her, where would that put me?

Feel free to answer, just try to understand, I haven't done anything yet, I'm just thinking about it. I want to be sure it wouldn't be a big deal.
A. It's pretty much out of the question for me, unless my GF also wanted to be there, and then it wouldn't really be cheating anyway. I say, find a gal that you don't HAVE to cheat on, and she's a good fit.

B. I wouldn't recommend it. Don't put your relationship on the line because you're curious about something. This guy sounds kind of shallow, just wanting sex and that could not only jeopardize your current situation, but you also wouldn't really get anything out of it. Sounds like a no-win to me.

lliam
July 4th, 2017, 04:28 AM
A

Cheating is part of our natural behavior. It helps the individual to survive, and also not letting our own species extinct.

But ultimately, the truth always reveals itself. Whether to cheat or not ... it's just up to you to decide.



B

If you have a girlfriend, you can forget experimenting with this guy.

It's completely insignificant whether he cares you having a gf or not.
If you have sex with him and your gf didn't allow you to do so, you just betray her.


That's the simple fact.

Niceguy17
July 10th, 2017, 09:02 AM
You should never cheat. If you love someone, why would you even consider that? .
Wanting to have sex with other people while you're in a relationship is greedy, and greed is a sin. Plus the way you talk about this guy, saying he is cute and saying having sex with him is hot is pretty gay. I would say your bi, not straight. If your girlfriend was going to have sex with another guy would you be ok with it? Treat others how you want to be treated.

NerdSquared
July 10th, 2017, 02:33 PM
Listen man, I can understand that you want to experiment, and from a purely philosophical standpoint, I would say that it would be okay. But the problem is that everyone has different opinions. Your girlfriend might not be okay with it. I wouldn't risk your relationship.