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View Full Version : Can abuse change your sexuality?


xandyx
March 1st, 2014, 12:29 AM
Sorry if this is a weird or dumb question but...

If you were abused by a male and your a male do you think that would _in some cases_ make someone gay later in life? Like...if there was some physical good feelings (grr) when the abuse happened would it make you be that way?

I've been kind of thinking about boys lately and confused about the gay or straight thing. Just wondering what people think...

ksdnfkfr
March 1st, 2014, 12:47 AM
I think pedophiles target gay boys. So it is a matter of correlation as opposed to causation. In other words being molested did not make them gay, but they got molested because they were gay. Though I do believe it can be the cause of a person turning to prostitution and or the porn industry because they feel like damaged used goods, like a piece of meat, because of what the molester put them through. That's one reason why I'm not onto porn much. I don't know if the person in the video is in it as a result of having been sexually victimized as a child.

Dalcourt
March 1st, 2014, 01:09 AM
I read somewhere that psychologists don't think that there's a connection. In addition this would suggest that the victim liked the abuse and I don't think that you get good feelings from being raped and want to repeat this experience.
I'm bisexual myself, and beig raped by a male didn't feel too good, so I don't think I like being with guys because of that experience. Really don't see a connection...this experience might contribute to feeling confused about your sexuality but doesn't really make you a homosexual person. For me homosexuality is in your nature ... you are born this way...so yeah.

Serenity.
March 1st, 2014, 02:12 AM
I think abuse can definitely make you question your sexuality. Sometimes, it can affect the way you think about a certain gender. I also believe that your sexuality is a part of who you are, so you may question it, but it doesn't automatically make you gay. Sometimes it's hard to decide on a label, but that's okay!

Feraligatr
March 1st, 2014, 04:14 PM
I don't think these two things have any correlation. My answer would have to be no.

Blood
March 1st, 2014, 11:58 PM
I think it can cause people to have different preferences in their sexual desires, or make them question their sexuality. However I don't think it can completely change their sexuality.

DeadEyes
March 2nd, 2014, 11:47 PM
I think pedophiles target gay boys. So it is a matter of correlation as opposed to causation. In other words being molested did not make them gay, but they got molested because they were gay. Though I do believe it can be the cause of a person turning to prostitution and or the porn industry because they feel like damaged used goods, like a piece of meat, because of what the molester put them through. That's one reason why I'm not onto porn much. I don't know if the person in the video is in it as a result of having been sexually victimized as a child.

No offence Ezra but that doesn't make sence.
The definition of a pedophile is someone who is attracted to little children and most especially girls, not boys, or both.
That's preteen kids or younger so at that age they can't even tell if they are gay or not and in fact I suppose it's what they enjoy most, the fact kids are asexual.
Normally they loose interest when kids become teenagers, before they could even tell their orientation.

ksdnfkfr
March 3rd, 2014, 12:03 AM
No offence Ezra but that doesn't make sence.
The definition of a pedophile is someone who is attracted to little children and most especially girls, not boys, or both.

I disagree. Tons of boys get molested by men pedophiles. Haven't you heard all the stories about priests molesting boys? Or the Jerry Sandusky thing? Or NAMBLA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association)? No offense, but you must live on another planet.

That's preteen kids or younger so at that age they can't even tell if they are gay or not and in fact I suppose it's what they enjoy most, the fact kids are asexual.
Normally they loose interest when kids become teenagers, before they could even tell their orientation.

I didn't say the kids know they are gay. I said pedophiles probably target kids they can tell are probably gay. These guys write manuals on how to find the right boy to molest. One was even being sold on Amazon for a while. (http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40112145/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/) Notice how the cover has a depiction of a man and a boy. And lets not forget the pedos who hit on boys in teen forums.

DeadEyes
March 3rd, 2014, 12:11 AM
I disagree. Tons of boys get molested by men pedophiles. Haven't you heard all the stories about priests molesting boys? Or the Jerry Sandusky thing? Or NAMBLA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association)? No offense, but you must live on another planet.

Even more girls get abused.

I didn't say the kids know they are gay. I said pedophiles probably target kids they can tell are probably gay. These guys write manuals on how to find the right boy to molest. One was even being sold on Amazon for a while. (http://www.nbcnews.com/id/40112145/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/) Notice how the cover has a depiction of a man and a boy. And lets not forget the pedos who hit on boys in teen forums.

You can't tell if a kid is gay or not, that certainty can't be one of their criterias and technically a pedophile doesn't like teens.

ksdnfkfr
March 3rd, 2014, 12:25 AM
Even more girls get abused.

Yeah, but the topic of this thread is if boys being molested by men makes them gay or not

You can't tell if a kid is gay or not, that certainty can't be one of their criterias

Well that is a guess on my part, but I found out if you google "How to tell if a child is gay" you get this (https://www.google.com/#q=how+to+tell+if+your+child+is+gay)
And why would a pedo man not look for a gay boy who attracted to males?

technically a pedophile doesn't like teens.

Then why has pedophiles pretending to be teen boys on teen forums and asking for nude pics always been such a problem?

DeadEyes
March 3rd, 2014, 03:34 AM
Yeah, but the topic of this thread is if boys being molested by men makes them gay or not

I just meant to point out they mostly target girls, not boys and even less gay boys.

Well that is a guess on my part, but I found out if you google "How to tell if a child is gay" you get this (https://www.google.com/#q=how+to+tell+if+your+child+is+gay)
And why would a pedo man not look for a gay boy who attracted to males?

Nobody can tell if a child is gay, not even themselves like I said that is until they become preteens at least and even then and in young teen years they can't even tell for sure, as we often see here. So, a pedophile can't look for a gay boy who is attracted to males since those boys are too young to be attracted to anybody yet.

Then why has pedophiles pretending to be teen boys on teen forums and asking for nude pics always been such a problem?

There is older guys looking for teens there's no doubt about that but that's technically not pedophiles although that is technically illegal.

ksdnfkfr
March 3rd, 2014, 03:59 AM
Nobody can tell if a child is gay, not even themselves like I said that is until they become preteens at least and even then and in young teen years they can't even tell for sure, as we often see here. So, a pedophile can't look for a gay boy who is attracted to males since those boys are too young to be attracted to anybody yet.


Well again concerning the OP, he's not asking about a specific age bracket.
He is asking about an adult sexually abusing a boy who is a minor and if that would make the boy turn gay. And I am sticking with that if the molested boy turns out to be gay later on, he was already gay before he was molested. And also I have read many gay boys both here and on another teen forum as big as this one saying they knew they were gay / had gay feelings at an early age - and that they also got bullied when they were little because they acted gay.

There is older guys looking for teens there's no doubt about that but that's technically not pedophiles although that is technically illegal.

Okay you are confusing me here. How is an adult man who looks for underage boys to send him nude pics not a pedophile?

You are using the word "technically", so I am guessing that you are maybe doing a "technically the word pedophile actually means..." deal, when you know perfectly well that I am saying pedophile as in an adult man who has a sexual thing for minors. I find it kinda odd that you are being so picky about terminology if that that is where you are going.

DeadEyes
March 3rd, 2014, 04:28 AM
Well again concerning the OP, he's not asking about a specific age bracket.
He is asking about an adult sexually abusing a boy who is a minor and if that would make the boy turn gay. And I am sticking with that if the molested boy turns out to be gay later on, he was already gay before he was molested. And also I have read many gay boys both here and on another teen forum as big as this one saying they knew they were gay / had gay feelings at an early age - and that they also got bullied when they were little because they acted gay.

Well that pretty much went off topic and I do agree that it doesn't change their orientation but I still don't think a pedophile will aim for gay boys, in fact I'm sure they wont mind abusing them no matter what they could feel whatsoever.

Okay you are confusing me here. How is an adult man who looks for underage boys to send him nude pics not a pedophile?

You are using the word "technically", so I am guessing that you are maybe doing a "technically the word pedophile actually means..." deal, when you know perfectly well that I am saying pedophile as in an adult man who has a sexual thing for minors. I find it kinda odd that you are being so picky about terminology if that that is where you are going.

Again, the definition of a pedophile is somebody into little kids and not teens even if an adult going for minors is illegal. So, technically at 19 going for 17 is illegal but that has nothing to do with pedophilia. At what age gap you would start describing it as such?

xandyx
March 3rd, 2014, 11:08 AM
I didn't mean to cause a debate. Just wondered this because of my past and me feeling confused about maybe being gay. Idk...

Harley Quinn
March 3rd, 2014, 11:55 AM
Keep it on topic or this will be locked.

cgtlks
March 3rd, 2014, 10:45 PM
Most definitely ...not saying that being sexually hurt is good or anything but I know some people who were sexually molested by a single guy and later they became no sexual and one gay because the feeling never leaves and it somewhat makes you bi-curious and that is perfectly ok ....

cgtlks
March 3rd, 2014, 10:55 PM
Even more girls get abused.



You can't tell if a kid is gay or not, that certainty can't be one of their criterias and technically a pedophile doesn't like teens.

In my opinion a pedophile does not search for kids or anyone who is just gay because that would defeat the purpose . Know what they will do Is search for people they prefer which can include weight, skin color,hair,eyes,body type and ect..they form an idea before they act on it you don't have to already be gay that may not matter what does matter is the pedophile taking something from you in a wrongful doing because it was done to them or they saw something and acted on it so the taking of your virginity might be something some find as prey ....it all depends on usually the lifestyle of the pedophile...and how crazy they are ...

sebasdemon
March 4th, 2014, 01:56 PM
mm i don't know but in my opinion ,that might be freak, i met a girl that was abused and she told me that it's terrible

PurpleLips
March 4th, 2014, 02:00 PM
i dont think it makes you gay, cause i dont think yuur sexuality can change.
but i think abuse can make you scared of men or women.

Karkat
March 7th, 2014, 12:26 AM
I think it can, and it can't. I think (especially if the trauma causes PTSD, etc.) it can mess up how you view yourself and your sexuality. For instance, I swore myself off from guys and practically came out as a lesbian after I was raped (by a guy, I am a biological female.), however, this wasn't a lasting thing. I ended up getting back into relationships with guys.

However, I don't think it would end up entirely changing your sexuality altogether.


---

No offence Ezra but that doesn't make sence.
The definition of a pedophile is someone who is attracted to little children and most especially girls, not boys, or both.
That's preteen kids or younger so at that age they can't even tell if they are gay or not and in fact I suppose it's what they enjoy most, the fact kids are asexual.
Normally they loose interest when kids become teenagers, before they could even tell their orientation.

I have to disagree with the "kids are asexual" statement. I was absolutely sexual from a (frighteningly) young age. This is kind of like saying that "all kids are cis" or "all kids are heterosexual" or "all kids are ____" (Other generalization) (I know Tumblr has an argument cis vs nonbinary, how people should be raising their children, and how treating your kids as cis until they're old enough to decide for themselves is a GOOD thing and absolutely SHOULD happen due to medical issues, etc. This is not what I'm talking about.)

I mean, when I was about 7 or so, I was a bisexual trans boy. (I did not think of myself in this way, but I've grown to understand that this is pretty much the way I felt about myself.) And I was sexual.

So er, I think kids are more or less asexual as a whole until puberty, but it doesn't have to be the case.

Then why has pedophiles pretending to be teen boys on teen forums and asking for nude pics always been such a problem?

Sexual attraction to teenagers (when one is significantly older than one- like my boyfriend isn't a teenager. Doesn't really make him a sick creep or anything. He's not THAT old.) has a different term.

i dont think it makes you gay, cause i dont think yuur sexuality can change.
but i think abuse can make you scared of men or women.

I have to agree and disagree with you. I think it depends on what you define 'change' as.

Someone who is gay might not be attracted to the same sex until puberty, or even later on in life. Some people experiment, some people go through 'phases'. So in this way, yes it can change- though that's technically how you VIEW yourself, and your sexuality.

But yes, abuse by a particular gender can make you fearful/bring up flashbacks or frightening thoughts.

unknownuser
March 7th, 2014, 01:22 AM
I do think that current studies show environment and experiences playing very little role in sexuality.

Gottaloveaginger14
July 12th, 2014, 05:06 PM
I don't think it could make you gay but I know from my experiences that a lot of things I was forced to do really turn me on now... I doubt it would make you gay but you might enjoy having a girl lick your ass or stick a finger in during foreplay

StoppingTime
July 12th, 2014, 06:19 PM
Please do not post in threads which have been inactive for over two months. :locked: