PDA

View Full Version : Missing passed family


Just JT
June 25th, 2017, 11:52 AM
I'm just wondering if anyone has lost any family members they were close with. I lost my dad a little over 2 years ago. And I really miss him. Like on Father's Day I went to his grave, and was really strange feeling, I was really sad, I cried so hard. And when I was thinking about why, cause my life really is so much better stable and safer now, I realized I was crying mainly cause I felt like I didn't miss him or something.

Is this like a normal thing to feel in grieving?

Endeavour
June 25th, 2017, 12:24 PM
I lost my nan shortly before I joined up here in November 2015, meaning to get advice on here but I never actually did.

Maybe because you're now going through your life without him you've kind of forgot about him for a while and going back to the grave maybe reminded you of him? All people grieve differently and feel all different ways when growing through the process of grieving so no matter what you think no way of grieving is "not normal".

refrigeratorx
June 25th, 2017, 12:26 PM
I feel like it definitely is. Even though your life has overall improved (not sure if it is a direct cause of him not being there) But it's common to feel bad because you feel like you SHOULD have certain feelings. I mean regardless of what is what, he WAS/is your father and you feel like you should be more sad about his passing. But in the end, you can't help how u feel in most aspects of life.

You can't miss him more or less just because you choose to. I personally haven't lost someone as immediate in my family as that, but I assume you expected to have a different reaction when something like that occurred. And it's days like Father's Day that really shed light on the reality. Everyone is celebrating and positing pics with their dads and you can't do that anymore. So the emotions build on particular days.

But sometimes it's good to miss him. It means he meant something to you. He was important. He partly molded you into who you are today. But it's also fine some days if he doesn't even cross your mind; doesn't make u a bad person. As I said. Can't control how you feel.

Nadin
June 25th, 2017, 01:42 PM
i lost my grandparents,they were the only ones I could talk to about anything.

lliam
June 25th, 2017, 02:10 PM
Is this like a normal thing to feel in grieving?


can't tell it from personal expierience with losing family members that way.
but I know the feeling from loosing close friends cause we often moved from country to country etc.


Even none of'em died so far, the feeling of lost may in general be a bit the same remembering this friends - especially if you have no contact with these friends anymore.


So, following just a gut feeling, I would say that what you feel is normal.

Dalcourt
June 25th, 2017, 07:31 PM
I guess the way we grief changes over time. First we think about the person we lost nearly every day and then we maybe think about them less and less. Life goes on, leads us into another direction. Sometimes it feels like we forget about the person we were grieving for and it makes us feel bad. The longer they are gone the less it hurts.

Well this is more theory what I say here. I haven't lost a close family member just a friend from when I was younger and I feel like that about him. And I feel like that about my mother. I haven't met her and I do not know whether she is dead or not. It is just that when I was younger I thought about her a lot and it got fewer the older I got. Sometimes I feel bad for forgetting about her over long periods of time...

Just JT
June 26th, 2017, 07:38 AM
Thanks everyone. Thanks for the kind word and understanding