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Yugen
June 18th, 2017, 04:31 PM
My mom has a serious addiction to computer games. She's on the laptop all day long without fail, only moving if she wants to do something (like go out with her sister). She doesn't clean the house, she doesn't cook dinner, she goes to work sometimes. And she ignores my existence. It hurts so much. All I want is to be acknowledged but it's always the computer that comes first. I can't even get her to have a conversation with me or look at me. I just want my mom. I want to have a real conversation with her before she has another heart attack (she almost died while I was away at school, and I came home just to be with her, only for her to rather be online), or something else happens. I always feel so alone in my own home.

tvsigeys
June 18th, 2017, 09:26 PM
It has a way of getting a grip on some folks. Tell her everything you wrote here

Dalcourt
June 18th, 2017, 10:27 PM
Yeah in our days computer games and the internet can get as addictive as alcohol and drugs. I have read and article about Facebook addiction a while ago.

Anyway as said above, you can only try to tell her how you feel about it. Apart from that I'm not sure. It's the same like any other addiction as long as the person doesn't realise there's a problem, there won't be a real change.

Just JT
June 18th, 2017, 11:55 PM
I agree. Print this thread up and hand it to her

But also, not judging here, but where I live, we share in cleaning and chores, cooking to. Especially since the adults pay the bills. Not that I like all that shit but....just sayin'

Chaosphere
June 19th, 2017, 12:55 AM
My mom has a serious addiction to computer games. She's on the laptop all day long without fail, only moving if she wants to do something (like go out with her sister). She doesn't clean the house, she doesn't cook dinner, she goes to work sometimes. And she ignores my existence. It hurts so much. All I want is to be acknowledged but it's always the computer that comes first. I can't even get her to have a conversation with me or look at me. I just want my mom. I want to have a real conversation with her before she has another heart attack (she almost died while I was away at school, and I came home just to be with her, only for her to rather be online), or something else happens. I always feel so alone in my own home.
My compatriots' comments have merit. Sometimes people need to be counseled out of their rut, and sometimes they need a good (proverbial) slap. She needs to understand that she isn't fulfilling the nurturing capacity she took on as a parent. I think a good way to approach this would be to talk to your mother's sister if you can, since you say that she has enough pull with your mother to get her off of the web and to get her out. The combination of your hurt and the chiding of someone who I assume your mother has some respect for might help to snap her out of her daze. It's often better to take things on with a partner, so you aren't alone there.

Yugen
June 19th, 2017, 07:26 AM
I agree. Print this thread up and hand it to her

But also, not judging here, but where I live, we share in cleaning and chores, cooking to. Especially since the adults pay the bills. Not that I like all that shit but....just sayin'

I'm the only one here besides my mom, and believe me I do my share. Otherwise there'd be 0 done.

Just JT
June 20th, 2017, 07:12 AM
I'm the only one here besides my mom, and believe me I do my share. Otherwise there'd be 0 done.

That's cool, all you can do is your best.....I like Chaosphere idea. Talk with her sister. See if she can get something out here

Yugen
June 24th, 2017, 01:45 PM
Update: I had a total breakdown a few nights ago and since then my mom has been paying more attention to me. It wasn't my intention, but I'm not going to complain either.

ClaraWho
June 24th, 2017, 03:04 PM
My mom has a serious addiction to computer games. She's on the laptop all day long without fail, only moving if she wants to do something (like go out with her sister). She doesn't clean the house, she doesn't cook dinner, she goes to work sometimes. And she ignores my existence. It hurts so much. All I want is to be acknowledged but it's always the computer that comes first. I can't even get her to have a conversation with me or look at me. I just want my mom. I want to have a real conversation with her before she has another heart attack (she almost died while I was away at school, and I came home just to be with her, only for her to rather be online), or something else happens. I always feel so alone in my own home.

This is a very complex situation.

It sounds like she may be addicted to video games, although like every addiction, it is covering up for something. Some people take drugs to avoid their mental health issues, some people go to the gym too much because they have no self-esteem, others game to avoid dealing with real life. It sounds like escapism. Escape from the realities of her life and health, escape from her responsibility to you as her child.

Maybe in part of her behaviour she feels she's preparing you in case she has a fatal heart attack and is no longer around. I could see a twisted logic that would explain withdrawing to make you stand on your own two feet.

Alternatively her behaviour could be because she simply doesn't want to, or feels unable/unequipped to handle the whole situation.

Regardless of reason, however immature or ill-conceived as it may be, without telling her how you feel openly - you cannot begin to receive or understand. All I will say is be prepared to talk to your mother as an adult.

I'm glad things have improved a bit, but this may only be temporary without you taking ownership to change the situation.

Good luck!

~ Clara

Just JT
June 25th, 2017, 01:07 PM
I'm sorry you had a bad day the other day. I'm glad she's paying more attention. Only thing I'm wondering is what the meltdown was over. If it was related to this topic, I'd be careful. I rember my shrink telling me that negative attention seeking behaviors can become almost addictive.